


Beautiful Liar

by ariawrites



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: .....eventually, ATEEZ Harry Potter AU, And in denial, Angst, Asshole San, But whatever, Cause I'm back on my pining bullshit, Fluff, Happy Ending, Harry Potter AU, Hufflepuff wooyoung, I suck at tagging wbk, I'm sorry but San's going to be a dick for a little while, M/M, Maybe a little bit cliche, Post Hogwarts, Slytherin San, Sort Of, Sunshine Boy Wooyoung, There will be pining, This is really self indulgent, When no-one will write the fic you want...write it yourself, bet, wizarding university
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-01-25 06:19:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 55,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21351634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariawrites/pseuds/ariawrites
Summary: Hufflepuff and all around soft sunshine boy Jung Wooyoung has just started his first year at Wizarding University and noticed a really pretty boy in his Potions class...unfortunately for him he's warned by his friends to stay away because said pretty boy is Choi San. Pure-blood Slytherin and all around evil asshole...or in Jongho's words 'the son of Satan himself'. Disappointed but resolved to heed his friends warnings Wooyoung intends to do just that.Meanwhile San and his fellow pure-blood, kinda asshole friends decide to resume a little game of theirs that they used to play frequently in order to mess with those they deemed as 'lesser' because of their blood status. Their new target? Jung Wooyoung. San's got 8 weeks to make Wooyoung fall for him, and as soon as he says those three little words...San's going to crush his heart.Also known as the Harry Potter bet AU that no-one asked for, mostly written but with a couple little text chunks.
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Kang Yeosang, Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 102
Kudos: 281





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here we gooooo!  
I've been tweeting for a while about this bet college au that I was planning, because I had the idea when I was listening to Vixx's Beautiful Liar and this one scene sprang in to my mind and I basically planned an entire fic around it. Once I finished writing OOTS I finally got to start on it but...it wasn't quite flowing how I'd like when I tried to write it and so I kinda just left it to gather dust. Then Halloween happened and I had an idea for a Harry Potter AU which got added to my long list of fics to write but when I attempted to start writing the bet au again...I had a brainstorm. So I combined the two stories in to one and here we are. I couldn't quite let go of the college au part though so you've got wizarding university entirely of my own making. I hope you guys will like this, I haven't read the books or watched the movies in...kind of a while but I've tried my best! 
> 
> Everything is planned out and I do have an outline for this (I also know roughly how many chapter's it's gonna be but that could change as I write), but be aware that I'm writing this alongside my pirate au and by making this an HP AU I just took this from 'fun, easy to write fic' and therefore super fast updates to 'requires concentration and research at points' so updates won't take forever but they won't be super fast either. Especially depending on uni work load/everything else I have to edit and post for the forseeable future. 
> 
> Also I'm sorry guys, I know y'all wanted Gryffindor Woo but he had to be a Hufflepuff. That's just how it is. 
> 
> Huge shout out to protectyou_myaurora for helping me with figuring this out, sorting the boys and much more, and svtstarlight for encouraging me to smoosh the stories and generally hyping me up for this! 
> 
> I hope you guys will enjoy this, it might be a bit cliche/cheesy/dramatic but it's entirely self indulgent cause I've been begging for a bet au but no-one ever delivered so...I had to do it myself :')

** _Hwa_ ** _ changed the chat name from _ ** _Soft Bois _ ** _to _ ** _SeonSangWooHo_ **

** _Sangie _ ** _changed the chat name from _ ** _SeongSangWooHo _ ** _to _ ** _Soft Bois_ **

**Sangie: **Seonghwa stop changing the GC name challenge.

**Sangie: **SeongSangWooHo or whatever makes no sense.

**Hwa: **Yes it does. It's all our names combined.

**Sangie: **Why are you so obsessed with smooshing names together?

**Hwa: **I just want to be included, is that SO wrong?

**Hwa: **You call you and Wooyoungie 'Woosang' and you and Jongho 'Sangho'

**Jongho: **It's Jongsang actually hyung

**Jongho: **Yeoho if we're feeling wild 

**Hwa: **Whatever

**Hwa: **That's not the point.

**Hwa: **None of you will let me call us Woohwa or Seongsang or Seongho

**Hwa: **This is Seonghwa ABUSE 

**Hwa: **Just because I'm your hyung doesn't mean I can't be a cool hyung

**Hwa: **We can have cute friend couple names

**Yeosang: **…are you pouting right now?

**Jongho: **He's totally pouting.

**Yeosang: **Is it really that deep though hyung?

**Hwa: **Y E S

**Woo: **GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS

**Woo: **YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE

**Woo: **THE BEAUTY THAT I JUST BEHELD

**Woo: **I've officially seen the prettiest boy EVER

**Woo: **Sorry Hwa hyung

**Sangie: **Where's my sorry?

**Sangie: **Bitch I'm beautiful too

**Woo: **There are more important things right now Yeosang

**Woo: **Like SCREAMING ABOUT THE PRETTY BOY IN OUR POTIONS CLASS

**Sangie: **Potions class? 

**Sangie: **Wait Woo, who are you talking about?

**Woo: **I don't know

**Woo: **…..

**Woo: **I don't know what his name is :(

**Hwa: **You don't even know his name?

**Hwa: **Seriously Wooyoungie?

**Woo: **Classes just started!

**Woo: **I'll find it out eventually

**Woo: **When I build the confidence to approach him

**Jongho: **So never then

**Woo: **.....you didn't need to expose me like that

**Sangie: **Is he basically a tree?

**Sangie: **Cause if he is that's Mingi and I hate to break it to you Woo

**Sangie: **He's got a boyfriend

**Sangie: **And they're permanently on their pure-blood elitist bullshit 

**Woo: **No, he looked like he wasn't much taller than me

**Sangie: **Are you _sure_ he's pretty Woo?

**Sangie: **Because no-one in our class springs to mind

**Woo: **Yes I'm sure, I have EYES Yeosang

**Jongho: **Doesn't mean they work

**Hwa: **Both of you shut up

**Hwa: **Woo, describe him

**Woo: **Wait a minute

**Woo: **I'm almost there

**Woo: **I'll just tell you in person, it's easier

**Jongho: **Wait are you two really texting the GC when you're probably right next to each other?!

**Hwa: **Of course they are

**Sangie: **As if you two aren't doing the same thing 

* * *

Wooyoung hurried through the halls of Manyeo Jangso, literal meaning 'witch place', the Wizarding University located in Korea. Having studied and graduated at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, Wooyoung and his friends _could _technically advance straight in to careers in their chosen fields, meaning Auror for Jongho, Astronomer…or the more reasonable job of Astronomy teacher for Seonghwa, Ministry of Magic Official for Yeosang though he hadn't chosen his specific field yet and Herbologist for Wooyoung, though he was leaning more towards the teaching side of things. However, that was how things were done should they want to pursue those careers in the United Kingdom, much as the boys had enjoyed their time there for school…they had no interest in working there and making a permanent home in the country. They'd been away from home long enough after all, and upon graduating were eager to return home to South Korea.

That unfortunately meant however, that rather than advancing straight to their chosen professions, a blessing in Yeosang's case seeing as he still hadn't made his damn mind up, they had to attend Manyeo Jangso for three years. Wooyoung, along with Yeosang and Jongho who'd advanced to their year, despite being a whole year younger than them, due to his proficiency with magic, had just embarked on their first year at Manyeo Jangso. While Seonghwa was just starting his second year after being separated from his friends for an entire year. Each student picked one subject to be their major, and one to be their minor, and they delved in to both in acute detail. Luckily Wooyoung and Yeosang had both picked Potions as their minor so they still got to share at least the one class, though it was strange to not share most, if not all, their classes as they had back at Hogwarts. 

Wooyoung turned to Yeosang, who was lagging behind as he carried on reading their group chat, thumbs moving furiously as he typed and tried to make sure he didn't walk in to anything at the same time.

"Yeosang hurry up!" Wooyoung whined. 

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Can't you just tell me first, and then tell the others? I'm _in _the class with you...I can probably tell you his name" Yeosang coaxed. 

"Yeosang we're almost there, there's no point. If you hurry up then you can find out faster, I don't want to use up all my excitement on just telling you" Wooyoung pouted. 

"I see how it is" Yeosang grumbled. 

"Come oooon, I'm building a sense of anticipation so we can all scream together, then you can help me plot how to get him to notice me! I can't be a coward this time Sangie, he's my _soulmate, _I can tell" 

"You've literally only just looked at him, you haven't even said a word to him Woo, how can he be your soulmate?" 

"I can just tell" 

"Woooooyoung" Yeosang groaned.

"MOVE" Wooyoung got behind Yeosang, placing his hands on his back and pushing him along the corridor. They were heading towards their usual place, one of the many courtyards in the rather traditional looking University. The layout and style of the buildings somewhat resembled the Palaces so favoured as a visiting destination by tourists and the campus dated from the Joseon period. All previous magical schools, if they had even existed, having been destroyed throughout various conflicts as the country journeyed towards the Korea it was today and if there _were _any still surviving in the North...they were inaccessible. That's why Hogwarts had ultimately taken them all in. In recent years Hogwarts had become more open to accepting students of other nationalities, particularly those students that had nowhere else to go to learn. The closest magical school to Korea was Mahoutokoro in Japan but given the often tense relations between the two countries it wasn't really an option for them…hence Hogwarts, as it was the only school at the time willing to accept them. A lot of the students of Manyeo Jangso had actually attended Hogwarts before graduating on to the University, and if they hadn't then they'd no doubt been home-schooled thanks to their limited options.

Bursting in to the quiet courtyard, Wooyoung could see Seonghwa and Jongho lounging on the benches surrounding one of the tables in the centre, confirming Yeosang's last comment to the group chat. The courtyard was a peaceful place, one not visited by anyone else as it was a little out of the way. White gravel coated the ground, with the odd stone statue of a dragon here and there. Carefully placed greenery blooming around the courtyard, decorating it and shielding the area from view. Perhaps contributing to its lack of visitors as some no doubt assumed the place was overgrown without venturing further in to find out if that was true. They no longer had a uniform, instead allowed to wear whatever it was they wanted as long as they were wearing the thin, silver band on their wrist that symbolised that they were a student. Allowing them to pass to and from the campus without being stopped by the two enchanted dragon statues that guarded the main entrance. Robes, when worn, were a beautiful combination of silver and grey silk, if Wooyoung did say so himself. The school was located, magically hidden from view, on the outskirts of Seoul, though they all lived within the campus, in the wing dedicated to student housing, they were allowed to come and go from campus as they wished. A change from Hogwarts, but then Manyeo Jangso was all about integrating them with muggles, and life outside of school and education. Thus, robes were not to be worn off of campus, though they had to be worn during class, for exams, ceremonies and so on. Though after spending their years at Hogwarts wearing uniforms beneath their robes, Wooyoung and his friends revelled in being allowed to choose their own clothes each day, even if the robe did have to be worn atop it. 

That wasn't Manyeo Jangso's only difference to Hogwarts, however. There wasn't such a focus at the university, as there was at Hogwarts, on the four different houses, in fact it had no Houses of its own to sort its students in to either and provide them with a new affiliation and it didn't enforce the Houses of other previously attended schools either. This was due to a couple of reasons. Firstly its students were comprised of those previously taught from home, or perhaps having attended another of the Wizarding schools at which the houses differed from those at Hogwarts. But the most important reason being that Manyeo Jangso was a university preparing its students for their future working lives and its belief was, essentially, that during your working life wherever that may be, you'll have to get on with all of your co-workers regardless of House affiliation. Even if you were to return to Hogwarts or whichever school you'd previously attended. Therefore, the four Hogwarts houses had no place here, a bit of an adjustment for Wooyoung and his friends, as well as the other previous Hogwarts students...but then again, they never did forget their old Hogwarts house. 

The Slytherins in particular, most definitely held on to their grudge against every other house, especially when it came to Gryffindor. The rivalry between the two having been ingrained in to them for years, while Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were also looked down upon by Slytherin. In turn, students of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff didn't particularly hold a lot of love for the Slytherins either. This rivalry was, in actual fact, partly how Wooyoung and his friends had come together.

Wooyoung and Yeosang had been childhood friends, though they'd ended up being sorted in to different houses, Wooyoung going to Hufflepuff, while Yeosang had gone to Ravenclaw. They'd still remained firm friends, their bond remaining in tact and they'd often been lucky enough to share their classes. They'd met Jongho not long after starting their first year at Hogwarts. By rights, Jongho shouldn't have started at Hogwarts for another year. However, despite having non-magical parents, Jongho's magic was particularly strong and his parents had grown to fear it. Hogwarts had allowed him early entry to help him control his magic, and to put his parents minds at ease who had, over the years he'd been enrolled at Hogwarts, become more accepting of their sons magic and less afraid. Of course, Jongho had been sorted in to Gryffindor and word had spread of the little Gryffindor from a non-magical background who's magic was at such a level he'd been ushered in to the school early. Most were intrigued by him, even willing to help him adjust. Seonghwa had approached Jongho to offer to help him with anything he might struggle with. To teach him all the things he wouldn't have been taught having grown up ignorant of magic, and to help him adjust to his new life, effectively taking him under his wing. 

However, not everyone had been quite so accepting. The Slytherin's in particular who couldn't get over the fact that a 'mud-blood' had such strong magic and had been allowed special treatment, the fact that he was a Gryffindor further adding to their pique. Wooyoung had come upon Jongho one day, not long in to first term, being bullied by a group of Slytherins. Picking on him, calling him 'mud-blood' and generally trying to make his life a misery. He was everything they hated combined in to one. A Gryffindor, not of pure blood and he could quite possibly become better at magic than all of them put together and they couldn't allow such a thing to pass. Wooyoung had seen them off, ushering Jongho away and they'd soon become friends. Jongho's friendship with Wooyoung had then led to a friendship with Yeosang, whom he'd been introduced to at the first possible opportunity, Yeosang also forming an attachment to the boy within about five minutes of meeting him and then forming the 'Jongho Protection Squad' with Wooyoung. Of course after hearing about the latest bullying incident, Seonghwa had sought out Jongho to check on him, thus meeting Wooyoung and Yeosang and he'd inevitably joined their group, taking them all under his wing. Though it turned out Yeosang was acquainted with him already, seeing as they were both in Ravenclaw and Seonghwa had apparently helped Yeosang settle in and answered a slew of questions on his first night as part of Ravenclaw. 

Of course, Jongho had eventually stopped requiring his little Protection Squad, becoming physically stronger over the years and becoming perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but the bond and friendship between the four of them had remained throughout their entire time at Hogwarts and Seonghwa had been sorely missed during their final year at the school. But now they were all reunited with him, together once again and Wooyoung couldn't have been in a better mood for his first day of classes. 

_And as an added bonus, there's an insanely pretty boy in Potions. If I can muster up some self confidence to approach him, I might finally get myself a boyfriend to be all romantic and cute with instead of watching everyone else date while I remain single and...well, bitter. I know I've been a bit shy before, perhaps even a coward, but this isn't just a new school year, it's an entirely new school. It's time to try and put myself out there a little. Instead of just staring at him during class and daydreaming, I could actually try and do something for once, instead of crushing from a distance. But I shouldn't get ahead of myself just yet, I need to take this one step at a time. The first step being to actually develop the balls to ask him for his name so I can stop calling him 'the pretty boy'. _

"WE'RE HERE" Wooyoung announced to the two lounging on the benches, sending Yeosang stumbling as he gave him one final push in to the space. 

"_Finally_. Now spill" Seonghwa instructed, putting his phone down and giving him his full attention. Wooyoung made a show of taking his time to settle himself into his own spot at the table, Yeosang sliding in next to him. Wooyoung cleared his throat a little, ramping up the tension as Jongho tapped the tabletop impatiently. 

"Please get on with it hyung" he sighed. Wooyoung allowed himself a giggle before looking up at his eagerly awaiting friends with a dreamy sigh. 

"Okay so, he's in my-"

"Our" Yeosang cut in. 

"_Our _Potions class and he seems like he's really good at it. I bet he wants to be an alchemist or something-" 

"Wooyoungie, stick to the point" Seonghwa butted in impatiently. 

"Yeah, we need a description hyung. _Description. _You can't yell in the group chat about how you've seen, and I quote, 'the prettiest boy ever', a bold statement to make when a whole Seonghwa and Yeosang exist-" 

"Thank you Jongho, at least someone appreciates my beauty" Yeosang preened, causing the younger boy to flush slightly. 

"-and then _not _actually lead with the description we were promised!" he finished. 

"I was getting there!"

"Get there faster, Hwa hyung's getting older by the minute"

"Don't make me jinx you" 

"You would never hyung" Jongho countered, to which Seonghwa raised an eyebrow but didn't actually refute. Instead he simply turned to Wooyoung.

"Get on with it, we don't have all day" 

"I was just trying to set the scene...build up some anticipation-" 

"Scene set. Anticipation built. _Description, _please" Yeosang urged. 

"Fine" Wooyoung pouted. "So, he's taller than me. But only by a little bit I think, it was hard to tell with him sitting down." 

"Definitely not Mingi, he's at least six foot. He's also kind of scary looking, but he's a Hufflepuff so like...how scary can he really be?" Yeosang mused. 

"_Who _is Mingi?" Wooyoung burst out. 

"...he was _literally _in your house. In your _year _for all _seven _years that you were at Hogwarts _and_ he was in all of your classes as well as most of mine. He's in our Potions class this year too." Yeosang was giving Wooyoung the look that suggested he was being more of an idiot than usual, but he couldn't quite place the face to the name. 

"Red hair hyung" Jongho helpfully provided. 

"Ooooooohhh" Wooyoung was hit with the realisation. "No, he is scary. He's a pure-blood and he hated everyone else in our year because we were all 'lesser' than him or whatever. He was always by himself" 

"Not surprising, he and his friends are the worst when it comes to that 'pure-bloods are superior' crap. His boyfriend, Yunho, is just as bad. I don't know how the hell he got sorted in to Gryffindor. They both belong with the Slytherins"

"It's not nice to stereotype Jongho. They don't necessarily belong in Slytherin just because they're-"

"Evil" 

"Assholes" 

"Hate anyone with lesser blood than them" 

"We could go on" 

"I give up" Seonghwa sighed. 

"_Anyway, _he's…beautiful. Like so beautiful. His face is so perfect, and his _hair. _It's _so_ cool, it's dark, maybe black or maybe it's dark brown, but it's got like blue at the sides and back?" Wooyoung didn't notice Yeosang exchange a glance with Jongho, too busy thinking back to the boys face and mentally picturing it once again. "Did I mention he's really, _really_ cute?" Jongho snorted out loud.

"That's the first and only time I've heard someone call _him, _cute. Evil? Yes. The anti-christ? Of course. But cute? Fuck no." Jongho muttered under his breath. Wooyoung was too lost in trying to relay exactly _how _beautiful this boy was to pay attention, searching for the right words to do him justice.

"His eyes are so...stunning" Wooyoung sighed a little "and when he smiles they go in to little crescents and OH MY GOD DIMPLES. He has DIMPLES-" Wooyoung cut himself off as he finally noticed the look his friends were exchanging amongst themselves, instead of screeching about the boys good looks with him. He'd expected the dimples to get a verbal reaction at least, because _dimples, _but instead there was a telling silence. "What? What is it? Does he have a boyfriend? Is he…is he straight?"

"No. Worse" Yeosang's voice was grave and Wooyoung couldn't decide if he was being serious or messing with him. 

"What do you mean worse?" he said, suspiciously. 

"I mean…he's Choi San." 

"Who's Choi San?"

"You don't remember him from Hogwarts? He was notorious, always playing cruel tricks and picking on anyone of 'lesser blood' especially if they were in Gryffindor. He's a Slytherin, but even worse...he's a pure-blood. No offence Seonghwa hyung" Yeosang looked to their friend, the only pure-blood wizard amongst them. 

"None taken. Not every pure-blood is an asshole about it, but some..." 

"Some are so elitist about it. Like San and his friends" Jongho chipped in. "All of his friends are pure-bloods and they hate anyone who isn't. You know that Wooyoung, you had Mingi in your House, he's one of them. Yunho too, Seonghwa and Yeosang got off lightly in their House" 

"No I didn't" Seonghwa protested. "I had Hongjoong in my year, he's in my Astronomy class here too. Lord knows why, it really doesn't seem his thing. He's just as bad as his friends, thinking he's better than everyone else because of his blood and because he's a Slytherin-" 

"Yeah and he wants to _slither in _to your pants hyung" Yeosang snickered. 

"He does _not_"

"Oh he so does. Why else would he take Astronomy? You said it yourself, it's not his thing. He's had a crush on you _forever. _You might be a Ravenclaw, but you're still a pure-blood so I guess you're up to his standards" 

"So pretty boy..._San_, hates...he hates everyone who isn't a pure-blood?" Wooyoung nibbled on his lower lip. 

"Do you really not remember him?" Yeosang turned to him. 

"Why do you keep asking me that when you know I'm bad with faces!" 

"Because he was the one that you saved Jongho from when you first became friends with him Woo. You stopped him from turning Jongho in to a rat, remember?" 

"You told him off _pretty _badly for it too hyung, I've never seen him turn that shade of red before. He was _so _mad, I'm surprised he didn't curse you but I think you took him by surprise because he didn't expect a Hufflepuff to do anything like that. _Everyone _was watching too, he must have been so humiliated...a half-blood Hufflepuff talking down to him like that." Jongho added with a slight chuckle. 

"Names were called. Lectures were given. Humiliation _brutally_ dealt out. You were pretty badass Woo, I heard about it before you even brought Jongho to meet me after." 

"Yeah well, no-one fucks with Jongho" Wooyoung threw his arm around the youngest of them as he said it, hugging Jongho tightly to him and despite the fact Jongho wasn't quite as touchy as the rest of them were...he felt Jongho return the hug just as tight. "That was...that was really San? The same San in our Potions class?" Wooyoung clarified and Yeosang nodded. 

"Choi San is a bully, a pure-blood Slytherin who thinks he's better than everyone with supposedly 'lesser' blood. That thinks anyone without pure-blood is below him and it's fine to trample on them, to toy with them and he's just-" 

"A complete asshole" Yeosang provided.

"The anti-christ" Jongho shot back. 

"A fucking demon" Yeosang countered. 

"....the phrase I was looking for was, 'not very nice'." Seonghwa sighed, giving up on trying to keep things somewhat civil. Seonghwa turned to him. "Woo, you're better off staying away from him. He's left you alone ever since that incident but I don't want you to gain his attention and become his next target. It might have been years ago, but he's a Slytherin. They can't even let their old house go now that we're here and things are different. He's probably still holding on to a grudge against you for humiliating and it's best not to provoke him in to acting on it." 

"...oh" Wooyoung tried to hide his disappointment, still clutching on to Jongho, but he couldn't help it. Even if he shouldn't be know that he knew the boys identity, he was still disappointed. San had been so pretty when he'd seen him in class, so focused on their professor and eager to learn. He hadn't given off any 'I'm a raging asshole who hates you on principle if you're not a Slytherin, or at least a pure-blood' vibes. He'd given no indication that he remembered Wooyoung, much less held a grudge against him because Wooyoung had stopped him from messing with his friend. But then San had been too busy talking with the guy next to him, who Wooyoung now recognised as Mingi, to notice anyone else. Wooyoung had watched him laugh and smile with his friend, watched him adorably concentrated on the class and what they were being told and he'd be lying if he said that he hadn't spent a large chunk of the class daydreaming about San and a cute love story developing between the two of them. Perhaps they'd be paired up for a project? Perhaps he'd help tutor Wooyoung, not that he _really _needed it but he could play dumb in the name of love. Or maybe he'd even manage to catch San's attention for once, without having to go to any trouble, unlikely as it was seeing as how he'd never managed to catch anyone's eye before. But he'd found himself suddenly optimistic in the face of San's beauty, and a new school year in a new place where anything was possible if he wanted to try and reinvent himself. Or at least try his hand at being a confident instead of shy and low-key panicked.

He'd been so excited to tell his friends about San, to get them to gush with him over the guy and help him plot and plan how best to catch his attention. How to get the boy interested in Wooyoung...to actually help him act on one of his crushes for once instead of just teasing him about it as he refused to make any kind of move. Too shy, embarrassed and scared of rejection to do anything other than blush whenever his crush would talk to him, and stare for longer than was appropriate. But to find out that the pretty guy he'd taken a shine to, that he had determined to have the courage to try and get to know and _maybe _try and become more than friends with...was actually a nasty person? Who probably hated Wooyoung because didn't have 'pure-blood'? Who'd even tried to turn Jongho in to a rat all those years ago and who made a game of messing with people just because he was...what? Bored? Because he could? Did he even need a reason? Probably not. Wooyoung couldn't help but feel disappointed, the excitement for a new school year, and a new school going out of him completely, even though he knew he should be feeling relieved that he was finding out now, before he could approach the boy and make a complete fool of himself...and get himself on the boys shit list. 

_Of course I finally decide that this is the year I'm going to change, to stop being so shy and find some romance for myself instead of watching my friends love lives while I had nothing. Having a boyfriend isn't the most important thing ever, but...it'd be nice. I've always been to scared and shy to do anything when I like someone and I'm tired of it. I want someone to be mine, I want to be someone's. I want someone to love me, and care about me and to cuddle with. But of course the person I find turns out to be someone so horrible, someone that probably hates me for multiple reasons, not least because I humiliated him. Maybe I'm just supposed to be alone forever. _

"I'm sorry Wooyoungie" Seonghwa comforted, grabbing his hand. 

"Don't be disappointed hyung, there's plenty of guys at this school that aren't raging fucking as-"

"JONGHO"

"Was I lying?"

"…..no, but that's not the point" Seonghwa grumbled. "My sweet baby Jongho never used to curse this much before. You two corrupted him when I wasn't around, didn't you?" 

"Us? Corrupt him? Never" Yeosang said innocently, ruffling Jongho's hair. Wooyoung didn't miss the way Jongho flushed slightly at Yeosang's touch, the second time he'd done so because of the boy. _Interesting. _

"It's okay guys. Really. I don't even know him, I just thought he was pretty and I got carried away-" 

"And you'd already started daydreaming about your cliche love affair, right?" Yeosang added, not unkindly. "You called him your soulmate Woo" Wooyoung shifted, feeling his cheeks heat up. 

"I was joking! I didn't mean that, no way, I was being over dramatic, you know me! I hadn't even spoken to him...I was just...excited and...overly hopeful and it'd...it'd be nice to have someone..." 

"I know Wooyoungie, but you deserve someone who's going to make you really happy, who's going to treat you how you deserve to be treated. Someone who matches who you are, kind, selfless, loyal-" 

"And not completely and utterly evil to his core. I'm sure if you get a look at his family tree, Satan's in there somewhere" Jongho muttered, darkly. 

"I know he's a bad person but that's a little harsh Jongho-" 

"Sure hyung, whatever you say. It's not like I was the only person he tried to turn in to a rodent. Or like he and his friends didn't spend most of their time messing with everyone of 'lesser blood', screwing with their emotions and then ripping out their hearts-" 

"You're making it worse, shut up" Yeosang hissed. 

"All I'm saying is, he thrives on pain and suffering because he is in fact, the son of Satan himself. Or at least the grandson." Jongho muttered darkly. "I'm surprised he could even bring himself to touch someone of 'lesser blood' let alone-" 

"Okay, that's enough! We get it Jongho. He's Satan's spawn and we can't allow him near our precious Wooyoungie. Message received" Seonghwa put an end to the devolving conversation before turning back to Wooyoung. "You really don't need to get involved with someone like that Woo, I know you think he's pretty but there's plenty of pretty people out there. He _will _hurt you, and none of us want to see that happen. There's someone out there meant for you, and it's not Choi San" 

Wooyoung tried his best to summon a genuine smile, but he wasn't sure he did too well at it. _Easy for them to say, they've all had people asking them on dates, or flirting with them or giving them shitty valentines day chocolate and now Hongjoong's pining after Seonghwa, even if Seonghwa doesn't like him and he's part of Team Evil. Seonghwa's _always_ got people pining after him, because he's _Seonghwa_. Yeosang's had a crush on Jongho for at least a year now, and it looks like Jongho reciprocates so that's great. I look forward to awkwardly third-wheeling, or being blown off by my best friend for our other friend. That's...that's not fair of me but I'm so tired of being alone. No-one ever likes me for me, or they pretend they do to try and get close to Yeosang or Seonghwa. How many times has someone made a move on me, or even kissed me, to try and get to them? No-one ever wants me, I'm always, always alone and I love my friends but it's just not the same. This is what happens when you get ahead of yourself Wooyoung and latch on to the first pretty boy you see, daydreaming about some happy ever after without waiting to find out what he's actually like. _

"Yeah Woo, there's no way someone _that _evil, is your soulmate. If you want a boy, we'll find you one! One who deserves you!" Yeosang threw his arms around him.

"One who's waaaaaay better looking than San and doesn't have such a horrifically shitty personality." Jongho chimed in. 

"Oh...no. It's okay, I just-" 

"What about that sunbae? Jimin? He's _so _good looking and he seems really sweet-"

"I think he's dating that artsy dude. The one that was obsessed with the castle's moving paintings?"

"OOOOHHH what about that little dark, kinda mean looking guy from our Care of Magical Creatures Class that year? He's definitely enrolled here, I saw him the other day!" Yeosang snapped his fingers.

"Changbin?" Seonghwa sounded aghast. "Wooyoungie's soft, fluffy and an adorable little angel…no fucking way"

"How come it's okay for you to curse hyung, but when I do it I'm 'corrupted'?! " Jongho whined, pouting slightly and Wooyoung was _sure_ he heard Yeosang mutter 'adorable' under his breath. 

"Changbin's not mean looking okay. He's just quiet and misunderstood! He's actually really nice, and he was so cute with the creatures-"

Wooyoung sat back and watched his friends bicker, his previously dire mood lifting once again as they tried their best to find him his perfect match…even if they were failing at it and couldn't seem to agree on anything. They were perhaps, at times, a little too protective, particularly Seonghwa, but Wooyoung knew they were just looking out for him, because they cared about him. His friends really did love him, and they weren't afraid to show it, even if sometimes their teasing went a little too far they were quick to catch on and immediately try and make it better. They were always there for him, to pick him up when he felt down and Wooyoung was so grateful to have them in his life. To have them taking care of him, watching his back and he'd do the same for each of them. 

So pretty guy, _San, _turned out to be one of those asshole, elitist Slytherins, who may or may not be completely and utterly evil. So he wouldn't get his cliche, cute romance at last and he hadn't found his soulmate, so what? At least he and his friends had all been reunited with one another. Things hadn't been quite the same without Seonghwa's presence and he really had missed the older boy when he'd left Hogwarts after his final year. Leaving them to fend for themselves for seventh year. But now they were all back together, and they had a new school to explore. Seoul was right on their doorstep and they could venture out whenever they pleased so long as they didn't miss class to do so. There was plenty of fun and adventure they could embark on, and his friends were right. Wooyoung's soulmate, the person meant for him, was out there somewhere. He just needed to be a little bit patient and find him instead of deciding it's the first pretty boy that he lays on just because he's..well, pretty. 

_I've got my friends, at least, and I can force one of them to cuddle me when I'm sad and lonely. I'll find my person eventually, but I definitely don't need some mean Slytherin boy. _


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure I'm 100% happy with this chapter, but I can't really tinker with it much longer and I wanted to update because it's been a while.  
I'm not going to lie, updates for this one might be slow because while I have an outline and a plan...I kind of keep changing my mind and messing with it and throwing new things in and taking stuff out and this one is taking me a while to write because I'm not quite sure where to go with it. I wasn't actually supposed to start posting it until I'd written half of it but I got too excited so here we are.

_**Joong **changed the chat name from **Pure Bois **to **Hiss Hiss Bitches**_

_**Yunho** changed the chat name from **Hiss Hiss Bitches **to **Pure Bois**_

**Yunho: **HYUNG LEAVE IT

**Yunho: **Only two people in this group are in Slytherin 

**Yunho: **You can't discriminate against the rest of us by having a GC name like that 

**Joong: **But it has a nice ring to it 

**Joong: **and Slytherin is the superior house 

**Joong: **Besides, your GC name makes us seem like perfect little angels or something. 

**Joong: **Sickening 

**Yunho: **Excuse you, Mingi _is _an angel 

**Yunho: **Just because you and San are Satan's children 

_**Joong**_ _changed the chat name from **Pure Bois **to **Hiss Hiss Bitches**_

**Yunho: **JOONG HYUNG 

**Yunho: **I SAID LEAVE IT 

**Joong: **C'mon Yunho, embrace your inner Slytherin

**Yunho: **We're not at Hogwarts anymore hyung 

**Yunho: **LET IT DIE 

**Mingi: **Can you guys stop arguing for two seconds

**Mingi: **It's just a stupid GC name let him have it Yunnie

**Yunho:** BETRAYAL

**Yunho:** I can't believe this

**Yunho:** Stabbed in the back by my own boyfriend

**Yunho: **The LOML 

**Joong: **I knew one of you had taste 

**Joong: **You might be a Hufflepuff Mingi but you're a Slytherin in spirit 

**Mingi: **GUYS THIS IS SERIOUS 

**Yunho: **What's wrong? 

**Joong: **....? 

**Mingi:** It's San... 

**Joong: **What about him? 

**Joong: **Did someone curse him? Those Gryffindors at breakfast were shifty looking 

**Yunho: **Hyung, they were too scared to make eye contact-

**Joong: **Like I said, shifty looking 

**Mingi: **NO, it's not that, it's just.. 

**Mingi: **We're coming your way and I wanted to warn you 

**Mingi: **He's in a reaaaaaaaaally shitty mood 

**Mingi: **That guy vdhbvhdsbvhdsa 

**Joong: **....um?

**Yunho: **Mingi? MINGI WHAT HAPPENED?!

**Joong:** I think San got your boy 

**Yunho: **San, if you hurt Mingi I'll levicorpus your ass out the window 

**Joong: **Bit harsh... 

**Yunho: **Is it? Mingi's babie 

**Yunho: **and we all know if someone laid a hand on your precious Seonghwa you'd crucio them in to next week 

**Joong: **I would NEVER use such a nasty curse on a...yeah okay. 

**Joong: **Points were made. 

San stomped through the halls of Manyeo Jangso, heading towards the other two members of their little group. Mingi hurrying to keep up with him once San released the grip he'd had on his arm to jerk him along when he'd slowed his pace to start tapping away at his damn phone. Their destination was a deserted classroom. It was a little bit dingy..and more than a little bit dusty, but it was out of the way. So far out of the way in fact, that no-one ever really stepped foot in there except for the four of them, thus it had become their 'place'. Hongjoong had taken it over as his secret hideaway between classes. A place to go to listen to music and unwind or depending on his mood, compose music of his own. Well...'music' was perhaps a generous term. Hongjoong's 'music' these days was more songs about the 'stars in Seonghwa's eyes' or whatever vomit inducing and anatomically impossible phrase it was that he'd come up with. 

Hongjoong loved music. He loved listening to it, loved writing it, loved producing it and everything in between. The only reason he wasn't currently out in the world trying to work as a musician was that his father insisted he get a 'sensible qualification' before he be allowed to chase his dream. So Hongjoong was stuck at University until he graduated, at which point his father would no doubt try and get him to take up a position with MASOKO, The Magical Authority of South Korea. It being Korea's version of the Ministry of Magic, and a more desirable career path than musician. Hongjoong was lucky that his father had let him choose Astronomy, but he'd been forced to take Potions in exchange for being allowed to pick a 'frivolous' subject. His father had no doubt felt he was doing him quite the favour by letting him take a subject he'd actually enjoy...although his father wasn't aware that the sole reason his son had wanted to take Astronomy in the first place was to stare at Seonghwa and try and get the older boy to miraculously fall in love with him...or whatever it was Hongjoong imagined would happen if they shared a class. 

San didn't have a problem with Seonghwa per se, he was a Ravenclaw but he _was _a pure-blood. He just had poor taste in friends, in San's opinion. Yet Hongjoong seemed content to overlook that little detail in his infatuation. Not that he ever got anywhere with Seonghwa. The older boy had made his dislike for Hongjoong obvious to anyone possessing a working set of eyes...and ears, and it seemed nothing had changed in the year that San, along with Mingi and Yunho, had been separated from him. _Seriously, when's he going to piece together what's left of his dignity and give it up. Seonghwa's not interested in him, and he never will be, this is getting pathetic. He can do so much better anyway, Seonghwa's no better than a mud-blood himself. _

"San...wait....up..." Mingi panted from behind him, just as San reached the door to the classroom at long last. The door hit the wall as he dramatically threw it open before stomping inside. His face, he knew, was set in a scowl that wasn't likely to shift anytime soon. 

"....who peed in your kimchi?" Hongjoong asked with a raised brow. 

"I _tried _to warn you. He's been pissy all morning" Mingi closed the door behind the two of them, casting a quick charm to keep others out and their conversation in. That done, he moved towards Yunho who was slouched in one of the classroom chairs. 

"Mingi...did the evil snake boy hurt you?" Yunho cooed, checking his boyfriend over. 

"No...I just wasn't moving fast enough apparently. You'd think one of those muggle plagues had broken out or something with the way he hauled me through the halls" Mingi grumbled and San shot him a glare. 

"Why so grumpy Sannie?" Hongjoong cooed, snatching back the hand he'd reached out to pat San's shoulder as the other boy swatted at him like an angry cat. "You had Potions this morning...you _like _Potions" 

_"Liked._ It's been ruined for the year" San grumbled, a fact that fuelled most of his current anger.

Potions had always been San's favourite class, it was the one class he excelled in the most and he just...had a love for the subject. He enjoyed creating new potions, as well as brewing all of the tried and true ones contained in the textbooks. There was nothing quite like the high of mastering some of the harder or seemingly impossible to brew potions, or creating his own unique potion from nothing. Nothing was impossible for San when it came to potions, and he found it relaxing, soothing even, preparing ingredients, measuring them out, following the steps and so on. Creating his own potions allowed him to have some fun when he needed it along with a challenge, to pick a potion that he wanted to make...to bring in to existence, or even just to tweak an older one a little bit. Finding the ingredients, deciding what would work best and how to prepare it, the order to mix them etc...San loved every aspect of potion making, so there was really only one career choice for him...Alchemist.

In fact San, along with Mingi, were the only ones with a solid career picked out amongst their friends. San wanted to be an Alchemist, while Mingi wanted to be a teacher though he'd yet to decide if he wanted to teach Charms or Potions, hence he was taking both. However Hongjoong was slogging away doing Potions and Astronomy with no real love for either subject and no clear career goal in mind. The former subject picked purely because San, should he be in the right mood, would help him with it and the latter was picked solely so Hongjoong could be closer to the alleged 'love of his life'. Yunho was in a similar boat to Hongjoong, his dream being to be a professional Quidditch player...but his parents were forcing him to graduate first and get a 'real qualification' in case things didn't work out. Yunho, unlike Hongjoong, had picked subjects he was actually interested in though. Care of Magical Creatures and History of Magic though San wasn't quite sure what Yunho was going to do with those. But San? San was sure of what he wanted to do, what he wanted to achieve and become, and in order to become an Alchemist he needed to pass Alchemy and Potions. Of course San would pass Potions, there was no question about it. Potions was _his _subject, his _life. _It was his passion and his potions classes were his safe haven. Or at least...they had been.

Now his safe haven had been invaded by a filthy half-blood Hufflepuff with an annoying laugh and a superiority complex that wasn't even remotely deserved. His year was ruined, and the boys presence put him on edge. _Irritated_ him. _How am I supposed to enjoy potions..to relax and thrive in class with that...that...._boy _in there?! How am I supposed to focus and throw myself in to it with him there to distract me? To remind me of that day? _San seethed. 

"Mingi, what's he talking about?" Yunho sighed, impatiently. 

"That guy was in our class...you remember right? The Hufflepuff who shouted at San that one time when he tried to turn that kid in to a rat" 

"Oooohh, no, no. He only shouted at him a little bit, he was all 'YAAAAAAAAAHHH LEAVE HIM ALONE' then he was all 'HEY! MALFOY WANNABE, I'M TALKING TO YOU'-" 

"I think his exact words were 'Malfoy cosplayer' whatever that is" Yunho cut in. 

"Same thing" Hongjoong shrugged. 

"I don't think it is hyung-" 

"Oh so that's why San dyed his hair" Mingi's tone was full of dawning realisation. 

"_Anyway, _after that he just lectured San in front of _all _of those people-" 

"You can't pick on someone just because they're younger than you or from a different house and if your issue is his blood status then you're beyond pathetic, this isn't the 1800's anymore it's the 21st Century for God's sake." Yunho quoted in a pious tone of voice. 

"It's ugly behaviour and _really _bad manners. It doesn't matter if you don't like a person, it's rude to turn them in to a rodent" Mingi added a quote of his own. 

"I can see from your hair that you're trying to channel Malfoy or whatever, but for your information _he _was the one turned in to a rodent and it was a _ferret _not a rat." Hongjoong joined in. 

"If you really want to be just like him, I can help you with that" the three finished with a cackle. 

"Yes, _thank you _for the reminder" San growled, the memory flooding back like it was yesterday, he could hear that irritating, holier than thou voice in his head and it sent his anger blazing all the hotter. His friends had picked some choice quotes from the incident, the ones that rankled San the most. 

_The audacity of him. How dare he speak to me like that? To lecture me as if he's superior? To call me pathetic? To_ insult _me?! He's just a lowly half-blood...and a Hufflepuff at that. The fucking nerve, I never did get him back for that. Perhaps his unfortunate presence in class is actually a blessing...I'll have plenty of opportunities to make him suffer. _

"I can't believe he's in your class" Yunho cackled with glee at San's plight. 

"He spent the whole class just staring at me. I could feel his beady eyes boring in to my back" San grumbled. 

"He probably realised how cute you are" Mingi pointed out. 

"I'm not _cute..._I'm devastatingly hot" San shot back. 

"And I think he noticed" Mingi waggled his eyebrows while San shuddered. 

"Your face really is a curse Sannie" Yunho's voice was filled with faux sympathy. 

"Shame about his personality" Mingi snickered, San levelling a glare at him in response. 

"I will curse you bald Song Mingi" Yunho let out a gasp at the threat. 

"You wouldn't dare. You wouldn't touch his beautiful, beautiful hair" he protectively cupped Mingi's head. 

"Oh but I would" San drawled.

"You monster! You really are an evil Slytherin" 

"Hiss hiss bitch" San drawled, throwing himself in to a chair while Hongjoong protested Yunho's statement as 'unfair and prejudiced', before announcing that San's statement was clearly a vote in favour of the new GC name, and therefore, it was staying. Causing Yunho to groan and throw his hands up in the air, before launching in to yet another argument over the name of the damned chat, as if that was even remotely important right now. 

"Does it really matter what we call it?" Mingi asked, tentatively. 

"YES" Yunho and Hongjoong yelled. 

"Pure bois is fucking lame" Hongjoong whined. "It makes us sound like losers" 

"And 'hiss hiss bitches' doesn't? Like I said, only two of you are Slytherin hyung, what's the point of it?" 

"Deny it all you want Yunho, but you were _this _close to being sorted in to Slytherin and you know it" 

"So? We're not having you and San's stupid catchphrase as the name-" 

"Hello? Friends? BFFs? My potions class, the one class that brings me joy, has been invaded by that self righteous, uptight Hufflepuff and I need a distraction. Something to lift my mood" San interrupted the arguing. 

"This muggle lady said that if something doesn't bring you joy, then you should throw it away" Mingi's voice was contemplative. 

"I don't really care what a muggle has to say about anything but I'm not dropping Potions, it's the one class that brings me joy. Weren't you _listening?_" 

"Well it's not bringing you joy right _now_" Mingi shot back. 

"OH! I know the perfect thing to cheer San up" Yunho cut in, clapping his hands excitedly. Three pairs of eyes swung to look at him. 

"Yeah? What's that?" San snorted. 

"Something we've missed. Something we haven't been able to do for an entire year" he prodded. 

"You don't mean....?" San trailed off with a smirk. 

"Oh I do" Yunho said with relish, San's smirk growing in to a devilish smile. 

San knew exactly what Yunho was referring to. It was a simple little game that they'd been playing for years, though they'd put an end to it for their final year at Hogwarts. It just wasn't the same without Hongjoong, that and they had to focus on their NEWT's. But now they were all reunited at last and there was nothing to stop them from bringing it back to life. The entire point of the game was to toy with those of lesser blood. The mud-bloods and the half-bloods, though more points were given if it was a mud-blood. One of them would be bet to date a target of lesser blood for a certain amount of time, though the last few times they'd played, San had been the sole player what with Yunho and Mingi's blossoming relationship and Hongjoong pining after his precious Seonghwa. The sole goal of the game was to get their target to fall for them, to get them wrapped around their little finger...and then they'd be brutally dumped. Humiliating them in front of everyone. It slapped those not of pure-blood, and those from lesser houses, back down in to place but more importantly...it was just really, _really _fun. 

There wasn't really much in it for them, other than the pride of successfully taking down another target. Of managing to be around and to be _intimate _with someone of lesser blood for an extended amount of time. The longer they managed the more bragging rights they had...and the more points, of course bonus points could be acquired depending on how quickly the player managed to get a confession from their target, and for extra time spent with them. More points were given depending on which house the target was from. Ravenclaw earned the least amount of points, but Gryffindor and Hufflepuff ensured a high score. There were also points for the length of time, the longer the time spent with the target, the more points acquired. They'd come up with a long list of things that could get them points...the size of the crowd when the dumping occurred, if there were tears, how or where the target confessed and how cliche it was...as well as how intimate they got with the target. Kissing, touching...and so on. The points system was just for the fun of it really, to make it more interesting. Though it was usually San and Hongjoong battling it out for the top spot on their little leaderboard. Not that the winner got anything, other than the satisfaction of being the winner. Of being the best. But when San had become the only player after Hongjoong realised he was more likely to disgust Seonghwa than make him jealous if he participated, his friends had started throwing in rare potions ingredients for him to play with, or their aid in helping him brew some new concoction...or test it out, as a prize. While the prizes were fun for him and much appreciated, he was mostly in it for the thrill. 

To remind those with lesser blood of their place in Wizarding society. To see the look on their faces when they realised it had all been a bet...a joke at their expense. That it had all meant less than nothing to him and none of it was real. That he'd just been toying with them for fun, because he was bored...or just because he could. Of course they'd all helped each other out at points as well with it. Hongjoong's very last target had been a Hufflepuff sniffing around Mingi before Yunho had gathered the balls to confess to him. Yunho's had been a boy who'd been getting on San's last nerve and needed to be put in his place. He'd been besting San at potions, taking his rightful place at the the top of the class...or he had been until Yunho had finished with him. The boy had never been seen nor heard from again, and as for San? His last target had been some Gryffindor girl sniffing around Seonghwa, chatting away to him, making him laugh...and making Hongjoong seethe. It wasn't the first time San or Yunho's targets had been a would be suitor of Seonghwa's, and they'd eventually forbidden Hongjoong from picking their targets before it got ridiculous.

Now they had an endless wealth of new targets to choose from, and San could feel the excitement building at the prospect. 

"You stopped playing it for me? I'm touched" Hongjoong cooed, quick to realise what they were alluding to. 

"It wasn't the same without you hyung" Yunho admitted before pausing. "…..and your evil little gremlin laugh" Hongjoong swatted at the taller man.

"You helped create the game hyung" San pointed out. "It'd be weird to play it without you...and you always came up with the best points additions. I've missed it though" San sighed. He'd been bored lately, there was nothing much to really challenge him. To excite him, or pique his interest, so reviving their old game could be just the thing to get him out of not only his bad mood but out of the slump he'd found himself in. Hell it might even make it easier for him to deal with that damned Hufflepuff if he had the game to distract him. 

"So, who's the unlucky target this time?" Mingi asked. San pondered the question, thinking through all the possible candidates he'd come across so far. 

"What about that Gryffindor mud-blood? The one who's friends with Seonghwa?" Yunho threw out. 

"You mean the one San tried to turn in to a rat before he got a verbal smackdown?" Mingi snickered. "Nah. He'd snap San like a twig these days before he could even get close enough to speak" 

"What about that Felix kid?" 

"He seems too easy" 

"Jungkook?" 

"Again...poor Sannie would get snapped like a twig" 

"Bold of you to assume I wouldn't curse them first" San mumbled. 

"Hwangwoong?" San was ignored as his friends threw out more suggestions. 

"Who?!" 

"You know, super short-" 

"I know exactly who the target should be" Hongjoong, who'd been suspiciously quiet, suddenly piped up. 

"He's a half-blood. He's _irritating, _and he's...soft and fluffy and-" 

"And if this is who I think it is, Seonghwa's always all over him like a rash" 

"Pretty sure they're just friends hyung, relax" 

"Whatever. He's annoying." 

"You're just jealous Seonghwa cuddles him, and lets him snuggle his face in his neck and holds his hand and-" 

"Mingi's right" Yunho interrupted. "Let me guess your thought process hyung. You think that if San goes for him, not only will he stop being so clingy with your precious Seonghwa but that you might be able to get closer to Seonghwa yourself? As if he wouldn't curse you in to oblivion for being involved in fucking with his friend" Yunho rolled his eyes. Hongjoong's silence, and the slight pout to his lips, revealed the truth of Yunho's words.

"Who the hell are you talking about?" San asked impatiently.

"Jung Wooyoung. Hufflepuff" Mingi answered, helpfully.

"Who?"

"The bane of your existence. You know? The guy who put you in such a bad mood in the first place today? The one who told you off in front of _all _those first years when you tried to turn his friend in to a rat. The one you've been internally cursing at ever since."

"You've got to be kidding me?!" San protested. _I wanted a distraction from him, not to focus myself on him even more. _

"Don't you want to put him in his place San? To get back at him for humiliating you that day?" Hongjoong's words made San pause. 

_He's right, I can put him back in his place and return the favour at the same time. Humiliation for humiliation. I can wipe that self righteous smile off of his face and make him regret the day he caught my attention. The way he looked at me that day...so superior. As if he was somehow better than me. What a joke, he's the one with tainted blood, as if he could possibly be above me. I'll shove him back down to the dirt where he belongs. No, Hongjoong's right. This is perfect, he's the perfect target. _

"San won't last two seconds. Wooyoung's like human sunshine" Yunho declared. 

"Yunho, when have I ever failed before? It's hardly going to be a challenge. It never is. What's the time frame? Four weeks? Five? Fuck it, let's make it six!" San threw out the usual time frames they'd played with before. The longer they had to stay with the target, the more of a struggle it usually was despite the points. 

"Eight" Hongjoong fired back bluntly. 

"Eight? Are you serious? That's two months-" 

"You just said it won't be a challenge for you, that it's never been challenging before...so let's make it one. Eight weeks" 

"We've never played for that long before" Yunho's voice was doubtful. 

"You don't think I can do it, can you?" 

"No, not really" Yunho's response was immediate and honest. "Hongjoong's probably hoping you can so he can try and get in Seonghwa's pants, but Wooyoung? He's a soft sunshine Hufflepuff boy, and a half-blood. Pretty much everything you hate rolled in to one package...and he's got protective friends. You might have a competitive streak a mile wide San, and that's what Hongjoong's relying on here, but I don't think you'll last a week." Yunho paused, eyeing San thoughtfully. "Maybe two if you can find some patience" San narrowed his eyes at his friends. 

"Fine. Eight weeks. Jung Wooyoung. Let's do it. I can't break my unblemished record now. Besides, I'd love nothing more than to get some payback against him. Eight weeks gives me plenty of time to toy with him, to wrap him around my finger and make him fall so deep that he can't get back out...right before I crush his heart like glass." 

"That sounds quite...poetic San. Scary, but poetic" Mingi commented with a slight clap. 

"If you win your record remains clean, and you're the one with the highest amount of points. Not to mention you'll have pulled this off for the longest any of us has ever stomached it. But I'm feeling generous so I'll even throw in some of those rare, hard to find potions ingredients that you lose your shit over-" 

"He means San's going to be doing him a favour so he's going to sweeten the deal" Yunho stage whispered to Mingi. 

"But if you lose..." Hongjoong trailed off thoughtfully. 

"You'll have to face the tiny, tiny wrath of Hongjoong hyung because he needs at least a month to try to convince Seonghwa to tolerate his presence." Mingi laughed. 

"If he loses, I think he'll be plenty humiliated on his own. Bested by a _Hufflepuff _of all people. There's no need for a punishment after that kind of embarrassment." Yunho snorted. 

"If you lose, you have to help me win over Seonghwa-" 

"No" 

"Denied." 

"Have the balls to do it yourself or leave the poor guy alone" the answers came in one after the other. 

"Besides, if you haven't managed to make any headway in whatever time San buys you, you're fucked anyway" Hongjoong muttered under his breath, scowling slightly. 

"I've got it!" Yunho smirked. "You win when Wooyoung says 'I love you', same rules as always. But if he doesn't say it...if you lose...then you have to declare your undying love for him in front of the entire school. A big, cheesy, super cliche confession scene for a _half-blood_...the ultimate humiliation." 

San felt a little queasy at the prospect. _No. Fuck no. _

"Dude he actually turned green" Mingi cackled. 

"Of course he did. That's San's worst nightmare. All of ours really...admitting that you have feelings for someone of lowly blood? Let alone a Hufflepuff? It's disgraceful..." 

"It's kinda mean..." Mingi sounded unsure. "Can't we just make him do my potions homework for a few months or something?" 

"It's perfect." Hongjoong smirked. "You've got eight weeks to get Wooyoung to fall for you. To get him to say 'I love you' and if he doesn't say those exact words San...you're going to be the one saying them. Publicly"

San felt a shot of nerves. They'd never played for such high stakes before. Usually they played for the fun of it, because they were bored and it entertained them, and of course for the bragging rights. For the prestige of being the one with the most points, the one who'd lasted the longest, or done the most or gotten the quickest confession. There was never anything at stake if they lost, other than the loss of some points. They'd never put a real bet on before, never played for anything. If he lost...he'd be humiliating himself in the worst possible way, embarrassing himself in front of everyone and declaring feelings..._strong _feelings for a half-blood Hufflepuff that he couldn't stand. He'd be taking his carefully formed image, his _reputation_, and utterly destroying it with three little words and it wouldn't matter what happened after that. Everyone would see, and those that didn't would hear about it and San himself would never hear the end of it. Even if he broke Wooyoung afterwards, he'd never live it down. Yet all he'd get if he won was some stupid potions ingredients to go with another win? _Bullshit. But I can't back out, can I? I've never backed down before, I'll look like a coward. I have to agree to this, there's no other way. They'll never shut up if I don't say agree to this and besides...I'm not scared. How hard can it be? Sure he's annoying and I'm probably going to want to curse him in to next week after spending more than five minutes with him but I can handle this. Just think of the payoff. The revenge. I'll take this bet and I'll win at all costs because I have to make him pay. I won't let him be the reason I get humiliated a second time. _

"You're on" San bit out. Yunho and Mingi crowing in the background as Hongjoong smirked at him.

"I don't know why you're smirking hyung. San's just been given the biggest motivation you could have come up with for him to win...and if San wins this bet Seonghwa's going to want nothing to do with you." Yunho pointed out with a snort and Hongjoong's face fell immediately. 

"Wait...wait no-" Hongjoong spluttered. 

"Did you really not think this through before you suggested it hyung? Sure you might get to spend some time with Seonghwa, you might even get close to him but you'll be the friend of the guy that broke his precious little friends heart. That, knowing San, completely ruined him. He'll know that you knew, and he'll know that you were involved because he knows what we've done before. That's why this is going to be such a challenge for Sannie" Yunho grinned.

Hongjoong blinked, his mind clearly running over all the possible outcomes of this situation...all of which ended with Seonghwa hating him more than he already did before. After all...if San _did _happen to lose, he'd honour the terms of their bet. He'd do it. He'd..._confess _to that half-blood Hufflepuff. But then he'd kick Wooyoung to the curb as swiftly as he could and he'd be extra nasty about it because of the inevitably shitty mood he'd be in...and he'd be looking to take it out on someone anyway. They all knew it. In fact San losing, completing his end of the terms and _then _revealing the truth to Wooyoung would quite possibly be worse than San winning and doing it. San met Hongjoong's eyes. 

"If I lose I'm not going to pretend to date the guy so you can get with Seonghwa." he said bluntly. Confirming what Hongjoong already no doubt knew was true. "I'll do what we agreed...and then I'm out. I also won't be making up any bullshit reasons for it all." Hongjoong wordlessly opened and closed his mouth. 

"And you're supposed to be the smart one" Yunho crowed. "He really thought all his dreams were about to come true...guess you've got a vested interest in San winning this time" 

"Poor Hongjoongie hyung" Mingi sympathised. "Don't worry hyung, it's going to end in tears for everyone, not just you. Well...everyone except for Yunho and I...and possibly San, but still" Mingi comforted. 

"Tell me again how Mingi's a Slytherin in spirit" Yunho said with a snort. 

_End in tears? For me? No way in hell. I won't lose this stupid bet. I won't allow that to happen...won't allow myself to be humiliated that way. I have a reputation to maintain and I won't let it be sullied by a half-blood. Jung Wooyoung I'm going to make you fall in love with me, and then I'm going to break you...if it's the last thing I do. _


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I wasn't expecting this to get so many views and comments and stuff and now I'm feeling kinda, slightly pressured to make this not suck. I also kinda had a little freak out when I realised the magnitude of this fic cause it's more challenging to me than any of the others I've written which is why this update took so long. I ended up having to re-write this chapter like three times because I wrote myself in to a hole I couldn't get myself back out of but here we are.

** _Hwa _ ** _changed the chat name from _ ** _Soft Bois _ ** _to _ ** _WooSangHwaHo_ **

** _Sangie _ ** _changed the chat name from _ ** _WooSangHwaHo _ ** _to _ ** _Soft Bois_ **

**Sangie: **SEONGHWA LEAVE THE GC NAME ALONE

**Jongho: **Yeah hyung, stop trying to make WooSangHwaHo happen, it's not going to happen

**Hwa: **….that's a muggle movie reference isn't it?

**Hwa: **You thought I wouldn't get it.

**Hwa: **But I did.

**Jongho: **And? Do you want a medal?

**Hwa: **Do you want a medal *hyung

**Hwa: **You're the one that said I couldn't keep up with your muggle culture

**Hwa: **Well look at me now Jongho. Look. At. Me. Now.

**Sangie: **Seriously hyung, it just doesn't work

**Jongho:** It just doesn't roll off the tongue

**Hwa: **…

**Sangie: **Stop pouting, I can feel it

**Jongho: **If the GC name should be changed to anything…it's this

** _Jongho _ ** _changed the chat name from _ ** _Soft Bois _ ** _to _ ** _Wooyoung Protection Squad _ **

**Sangie: **In light of recent events…I'll allow it

**Hwa: **This is Hwa-phobic!

**Hwa: **But I do agree.

**Woo: **Why...has the GC name changed _again_?

**Jongho: **Because Satan's spawn is lurking near you hyung

**Jongho: **You're not safe.

**Jongho: **I bet if we got you to drink some tea and checked the leaves there'd be a grim.

**Jongho: **Death is coming for you

**Hwa: **Not on my watch it isn't.

**Woo: **He hasn't actually done anything…

**Sangie: **Not yet he hasn't

**Sangie: **But he will.

**Sangie: **I can feel it in my left kneecap.

**Hwa:** Since when are your joints psychic?

**Jongho: **They're not hyung

**Jongho: **His knee just acts up sometimes ever since he fell off his broom that one time

**Woo: **Also known as 'that time Yeosang lost to a tree'

**Jongho: **Remember hyung? The Whomping Willow tried to whomp him all the way down to the Earth's crust.

**Jongho: **It almost succeeded too

**Jongho: **Yeosang hyung could have lived Journey To The Centre of the Earth

**Jongho:** but oh no.

**Jongho: **Wooyoung hyung just HAD to pull him out of harms way

**Hwa: **...why are you disappointed!?

**Hwa: **I thought we agreed not to talk about that to save Sangie's dignity

_ ** WooHo ** _

**Woo: **Why would you bring up Yeosang's 6th greatest shame?!

**Woo: **I thought you liiiiiiked him

**Jongho:** 6th? What's 1-5?! And you mentioned it too!

**Jongho: **Wait

**Jongho: **HOW DID YOU KNOW?!

**Woo: **I know all

**Woo: **I see all

**Woo: **I'm like Professor Trelawney but cuter and less...odd

**Jongho: **Seriously?

**Woo: **No.

**Woo:** you blush whenever he looks at you

**Woo:**..touches you

**Woo:**...speaks to you

**Woo: **...breathes near you

**Jongho: **Okay okay, I get it hyung, you can stop

**Woo: **Seriously though, you brought it up and then acted aggressively disappointed that I saved him from becoming human mulch

**Woo: **That doesn't exactly send 'I like you and I want to smooch' vibes

**Jongho: **I don't know, it just came out

**Jongho: **I like him but I don't want him to KNOW that

**Woo: **So you act like you'd rather he'd been beaten to death by a tree?

**Jongho: **...feelings are hard

**Woo: **Mood.

**Woo: **But I think you bruised his ego

**Jongho: **I was just playing :(

**Woo: **Play nicer, or no smooches for you

** _ Wooyoung Protection Squad _ **

**Sangie: **MY PREVIOUS HUMILIATION AND RECURRING JOINT PAIN AREN'T THE ISSUE HERE

**Woo: @**Jongho told you~

**Sangie: **FOCUS

**Sangie: **This is Choi San we're talking about, this shit's serious

**Sangie: **The fact he's taken some sort of interest in you Woo

**Sangie: **That he seems to be trying to get close to you is just-

**Jongho: **Fucking terrifying.

**Jongho: **Pack your bags, change your name and leave the country kinda terrifying

**Sangie: **I was going to say a little worrying but...points were made.

**Jongho: **I'd start using protections if I were you hyung.

**Hwa: **He doesn't need protections, he has me.

**Sangie: **Are you in potions with him? AND San? No.

**Sangie: **That'd be me.

**Sangie: **I'm the one out here, in the line of fire, risking life and limb to protect him from Satan's spawn on the daily

**Sangie: **He keeps _looking _at Woo-

**Jongho: **He's probably sizing him up, trying to figure out where he can hide the body

**Hwa: **He's never actually killed anyone Jongho

**Jongho: **That we KNOW of.

**Jongho: **Dead men tell no tales hyung

**Sangie: **The point is, I'm the one protecting Woo in Potions.

**Sangie: **I nominate myself as leader of this Squad

**Hwa: **Protecting him from his stare? Good job Yeosang.

**Hwa: **You're a true hero

**Sangie: **Hyung he looks at Woo like a snake looks at its prey

**Sangie: **Like he's waiting for the perfect moment to devour him whole

**Jongho: **Didn't peg him as a cannibal, yet I'm not surprised

**Sangie: **I'm telling you, he's plotting something

**Sangie: **Something nefarious

**Sangie: **And evil.

**Hwa: **Okay, but I'm the eldest so I'M the leader

**Jongho: **Is that really what's important right now hyung?

**Sangie: **I think the fuck not hyung

**Sangie: **I'm the one keeping his nasty, scheming, snakey ass away from Woo

**Sangie: **At great personal risk, might I add!?

**Sangie: **There's all kinds of nasty ingredients just lying around in that room that he could use on me

**Sangie: **He could DISFIGURE ME

**Jongho: **Or he could curse you, I bet he knows all the unforgivable ones

**Sangie: **SEE HYUNG I'M IN DANGER

**Sangie: **MORTAL DANGER

**Sangie: **I DESERVE to be leader

**Hwa: **You're not the only one protecting Wooyoungie!

**Hwa: **Whenever I'm with him in the halls, I always stick close

**Hwa: **San's not getting near him with me around

**Hwa: **I block him every time he tries

**Jongho: **He turns to him and gives him the stare

**Jongho: **You know the one…

**Jongho: **The cold, icy stare that chills your very soul

**Sangie:** Scary Face

**Jongho:** Anyway, why can't I be the leader?

**Jongho: **I can physically throw San out of a window

**Hwa: **NO MURDER I DON'T CARE HOW EVIL HE IS

**Jongho: **I'm just SAYING I could

**Jongho: **I've got the strength to physically protect Woo hyung

**Sangie: **I'm literally putting my precious body between Wooyoung and the antichrist

**Jongho: **and I could punch the antichrist halfway down the hallway if I wanted

**Hwa: **Bit of an exaggeration

**Jongho: **Whatever, I'm stronger than both of you put together.

**Jongho: **Name a better bodyguard than me, I'll wait

**Sangie: **That's beside the point

**Sangie:** You can't be leader because you're babie

**Hwa: **Exactly, sorry Jongie

**Jongho: **Did you miss the part where I said I could LITERALLY throw him out of a window?!

**Hwa: **I SAID NO MURDER

**Jongho: **But the ghosts here are no fun

**Jongho: **And San's got big poltergeist energy

**Jongho: **It'd really liven things up

**Hwa:** I don't care

**Sangie: **Yeah Jongho, murder's a last resort

**Hwa: **I hate it here

**Sangie: **ANYWAY, you both made valid points, I'll give you that

**Sangie: **But neither of you are out here, face to face with him in an enclosed space filled with potential murder weapons or instruments of torture.

**Woo: **Neither are you though?

**Sangie: **Hello, cauldron? Blunt force trauma to the head.

**Sangie: **Then there's the potions ingredients. He could poison me, burn me, kill me instantly or just make me suffer.

**Woo: **Or just pour something nasty smelling on you because half of them are harmless Sangie

**Sangie: **FIRE, we brew potions with ACTUAL flames Wooyoung. He could burn me alive at any moment.

**Woo: **Yes, because that tiny little flame would be enough to set your whole body alight.

**Sangie: **Did I mention that he came over to us in class today?

**Jongho: **WTF Why didn't you mention that earlier?!

**Hwa: **You should have started with that instead of coming for me about the GC name Yeosang!

**Hwa:** What happened?

**Hwa: **DID HE HURT YOU WOOYOUNGIE?

**Hwa:** If he hurt you I'll hex him so badly he'll wish he'd never been born

**Woo: **Calm down hyung, he didn't do anything

**Sangie: **Yeah, he didn't do anything because I was there

**Sangie: **No need to thank me, all in a day's work.

**Hwa: **I'm still not hearing what happened

**Jongho: **Technically you'd be reading

**Hwa: **Not the time Jongho!

**Sangie: **He tried to talk to Woo

**Sangie: **He's been trying to catch his eye, and sidling past our table-

**Woo: **He only says hello Sangie, he's just trying to be friendly

**Sangie: **Sure he is

**Jongho: **He's looking for an opening so he can lure you in to his trap and do horrible things to you

**Sangie: **Exactly, but not today Satan. Not today.

**Sangie: **Usually he leaves it at that and keeps walking

**Sangie: **But today he had the audacity to slither up to our table all 'Hey Wooyoung ~'

**Sangie: **And then stood there looking all expectant, waiting for a reply

**Sangie: **I don't know what the fuck he wanted and I don't care

**Sangie: **I asked him if he needed anything, and if not to fuck off

**Jongho: **Did you use your bitchy voice?

**Jongho: **Your savagery increases by 10% when you use The Voice

**Sangie: **YES I USED MY BITCHY VOICE NOW LET ME TELL THE STORY

**Sangie: **SO

**Sangie: **When I said that, I thought he was gonna use a dark curse on me

**Sangie: **My entire life flashed in front of my eyes

**Jongho: **...

**Hwa: **...is that it?

**Woo: **You were a little rude Sangie

**Woo: **Maybe he just wanted to borrow a quill or something

**Jongho: **Oh yes, Choi San, hater of all those of lowly blood

**Jongho:** would go to a half-blood to borrow a quill

**Jongho: **That you most likely touched with your filthy half-blood hands

**Sangie: **Make it make sense

**Jongho: **I'm fairly sure he'd rather gouge his own eyes out

**Woo: **Maybe he's changed? People can change

**Sangie: **Judging by the stare he gave me when I told him to get lost

**Sangie: **No

**Sangie: **He hasn't

**Sangie: **And now he's twice as murderous

**Woo: **You did tell him to fuck off

**Jongho: **Deserved

**Hwa: **I'm not usually one to say this but…

**Hwa: **People like that

**Hwa: **People like him

**Hwa: **They don't change. It's too ingrained in them.

**Jongho: **Besides he's had seven years to stop being an asshole

**Jongho: **And all he's done is get worse

**Sangie: **Woo tell me you don't actually want him to approach you?

**Sangie: **I know you thought he was pretty but-

**Woo: **No

**Woo: **No I don't want him to approach me it's just

**Woo: **Why is he even trying if he wants nothing to do with anyone that's not pure-blooded?

**Jongho: **Cause he's evil and he's up to something

**Sangie: **Cause he's planning to fuck with you

**Jongho: **Cause he's planning to murder you and hide your corpse in the walls

**Hwa: **Jongho don't be so dramatic

**Sangie: **Yeah, you can't hide anything in the walls in this place

**Hwa:** *sigh*

**Hwa: **But Woo, you could be his new target.

**Hwa: **You need to be careful, I don't want to see you get hurt.

**Hwa: **Especially because of him

**Sangie: **You are staying away from him right?

**Sangie: **You've not tried talk to him? Or let him talk to you when we aren't there? Or given him 'come hither child of Satan' eyes?!

**Woo: **Come hither eyes?! Ew no

**Woo: **No, wtf I'm not stupid

**Woo: **I was disappointed he turned out to be such an asshole, I admit that

**Woo: **And I do think he's kinda, sorta, a little bit pretty

**Jongho: **I think your exact words were that he's 'the prettiest boy EVER'

**Jongho: **I have receipts

**Woo: **Shut UP that was before I knew who he was

**Woo: **Look, I'm not an idiot. I don't want to end up as his next target either, I know it won't be a fun time

**Woo: **Every time I see him coming I hide

**Woo: **And when he looks at me in class I don't react, I don't even make eye contact

**Woo: **You guys take care of the rest for me

**Woo: **Yeosang verbally eviscerates him if he tries to come close in class

**Woo: **Outside of class Hwa hyung blocks him and tries to turn him to stone with one look

**Woo: **and Jongho's ready to tackle him or punch him in the face at a moments notice

**Jongho:** Hell yes I am!

**Jongho: **Try me Satan, I dare you

**Jongho:** I'll punt you back to Hogwarts

**Woo: **See?

**Woo: **Between the three of you, he doesn't stand a chance

**Sangie: **Nothing good's going to come of talking to him Woo

**Sangie: **You'd be playing in to whatever scheme he's up to

**Hwa: **Yeosang's right Wooyoungie

**Hwa: **I don't trust him or his sudden interest in you

**Woo: **Wow thanks hyung, because no-one could be interested in me and find me attractive

**Hwa: **That's not what I meant Woo

**Sangie: **You're a beautiful, stunning, kind, caring, funny, super fucking loveable ray of fucking sunshine Woo!

**Hwa: **That but with less cursing

**Jongho: **You're a fucking delight hyung

**Hwa: **I give up

**Hwa: **What I'm trying to say is you're all that and more Wooyoung, and I don't expect someone like Choi San to appreciate any of it

**Woo: **I know, I get it hyung

**Woo: **Thanks for protecting me guys

**Woo: **I guess…I just try and see the best in people

**Woo: **Even if I shouldn't

Wooyoung sighed, putting his phone to one side as he turned his attention back to his textbook, attempting to get some studying done but his mind refused to cooperate.

For the past few days something...strange had been happening. It had started the day after that first Potions class. Wooyoung had arrived to the next class with Yeosang trailing behind him, and they'd taken their usual places at their work bench, nothing out of the ordinary. But then San had walked in to the room and as he'd walked past them, Wooyoung hadn't been able to stop himself from glancing at the boy...only to find San's gaze on him. San had made direct eye contact with him for the first time, well, ever, and Wooyoung had felt his cheeks heat up against his will. Even once San had been seated he'd kept trying to catch Wooyoung's eye, not that he'd been looking or anything but...he could feel San's eyes boring a hole in his head and every time he'd peeked at the boy San would smile at him. Well..it was more of a smirk than a smile, but it was enough for San's dimples to pop out and make Wooyoung's knees go weak, much to his frustration because this was the boy that tried to turn his friend in to a rat, who'd made his life a misery along with many others. Yeosang glared at San with every attempt he made to catch Wooyoung's attention, every look he'd thrown his way, while after the initial instances of catching San's gaze, Wooyoung determinedly kept his gaze either facing forward, or down at the work bench. Determined not to turn and look, not to give San whatever it was that he wanted. Whatever reaction he was after from him. While Wooyoung might not have initially remembered San, there was no way San would have forgotten Wooyoung and the humiliation he'd brought to him, he knew that even without his friends reminders.

San's gaze on him had been...unsettling the first couple of times but now, a few days later, Wooyoung was used to it, and used to ignoring it. San didn't look outwardly antagonistic while looking at him, more like he was looking for a chance to smile at him or an invitation to come over and talk. Which was strange considering everything he'd been told about him by his friends...everything he remembered hearing and seeing but hadn't initially put with San's face.

Wooyoung heeded his friends warnings, he had no particular desire to end up falling for whatever shit San was trying to pull, whatever scheme he wanted to enact on him but he also couldn't quite reconcile the pretty boy with the dimples with the horrible person he'd turned out to be. Though it made no difference really, as far as he was concerned, dimples or no dimples, pretty face or no, San was a bully and he looked down upon people like Wooyoung. Hated them, apparently, and that he could believe given his friends because after speaking to his friends...he remembered Mingi _and _his boyfriend Yunho. How he'd seen them treat anyone with less than pure blood and San was best friends with them.

So Wooyoung left the boy no opening whatsoever while Yeosang refused to allow San within a three foot radius of his friend. He wasn't afraid to be rude about it either or downright hostile, San had activated Yeosang's protective instincts more than usual. Every time San breezed past their work bench coming in to class with a casual 'Hi Wooyoung' or 'Morning Wooyoung' or whatever greeting he'd gone with for the day, Yeosang would practically growl at him before turning to Wooyoung and starting up a conversation. Shutting San out so there was no room for him to try and make conversation, no chance for him to loiter. Not that San had really tried before, content with a greeting and the odd smirk shot at him here or there. Yeosang always blocked San from Wooyoung with his body, making it very clear he was unwelcome in their vicinity with a nasty look tossed over his shoulder. The one time San had paused, Yeosang had been quick to tell him to 'keep walking asshole'. Though Yeosang usually fired back something snarky and not very polite in response to San's greetings, with varying degrees of colourful language depending on how irritated he was on that particular day.

In response, San's jaw would clench, as would his fists, not that Wooyoung was _looking _or anything...he'd just been worried about what San may do to Yeosang for being rude to him. But San would just force a tight smile, continuing on his path past them to take his place next to his friend, Mingi. Which was certainly not how Choi San operated in these kinds of circumstances, he'd never before allowed someone of lesser blood to get away with talking to him like that. Ordinarily he'd fire back at anyone daring to speak to him the way that Yeosang did, and not just with words. But San let it go each and every time. It was further proof to Wooyoung that something wasn't quite right.

When it had probably become clear to San that he had no chance of approaching Wooyoung in class courtesy of Yeosang, he'd tried to do so _out _of class, in the halls as they went to and from class, or meals or the dorms. As soon as San would see Wooyoung, he'd make a beeline for him. Casually sauntering over with that smirk in place, and on more than one occasion it had even seemed like San had been _waiting _for him. Outside of the Potions lab before class, seemingly hoping to get Wooyoung alone as he'd arrived. Or outside of Potions class as they'd all left, perhaps hoping to be able to separate him from Yeosang. He'd even been spotted loitering near the dorms trying to engineer a chance to casually bump in to him. But if San thought he'd be able to get Wooyoung alone outside of class when Yeosang was otherwise occupied...he was dead wrong.

Outside of Potions, San had to contend with Seonghwa and Jongho as well. As soon as Yeosang had informed their friends of what had happened in class that day and San's apparent interest in him, they'd decided to personally walk Wooyoung wherever he needed to go. Class if he didn't share them with Yeosang, meals though they usually ate together and therefore went to and from them together anyway, the dorms, the library to study with him. At least one of his friends was _always _with him, if not all of them, right by his side and keeping San away. It really depended on who had class nearby, and who had a free schedule.

Seonghwa would keep linking arms with him, keeping Wooyoung as close to his side as possible like a worried mother and clinging to him more than usual. _I know he's trying to shield me, to protect me from whatever San's planning, but it makes me feel like a child...and that little Slytherin guy, Hongjoong is it? Always looks at me like he's either plotting how to kill me for Seonghwa's clinginess or like he wants to trade places with me and I can't decide which is the more disturbing option. After all, he's one of San's friends too. He's just like the rest of them and Seonghwa hyung deserves someone just as kind, and caring as him. _

Jongho, at least, would walk next to him without clutching and clinging on to him, or pulling him in to his side as close as he could get. _Though he feels sort of like my own personal prison guard sometimes, when he marches along next to me. No...that's not quite right, it's more like he's my own secret service agent with the way he's so vigilant. Scanning the halls, and he's physically body checked San out of the way when he tried to get close before, and stomped on his foot 'accidentally'...and elbowed him in the ribs. I think he's enjoying himself a little too much. But I can always tell when San's near because Jongho just flings an arm round my neck and won't let go right before he starts hurrying me away. Yeah...secret service agent is more accurate. One he really likes his job. _

_Yeosang isn't much better, he's somewhere in between Seonghwa and Jongho. Clingy...but rather than physically touch San like Jongho, he just shoots him a look and makes pointed comments about him knowing that San can hear him. Verbally eviscerating him rather than anything else. I can't even study alone in the library anymore because they're convinced he'll try and get me alone in there. I love my friends but they're being so extra about all of this, so over-protective all over a few greetings and a smirk or two...maybe he wants to be friends? No, don't be stupid Wooyoung. His sudden seeming personality change is suspicious and they're just looking out for me. They don't want me to get hurt and I can't blame them. San's done plenty of shitty things to others of 'lowly' blood. Maybe he'll get bored when he doesn't get a reaction? _

When San wasn't being thwarted by Wooyoung's friends, he was being thwarted by Wooyoung himself. As soon as he caught a glimpse of San seeking him out or seemingly waiting for him, he'd hide. Cowardly, but effective. The time or two that he _hadn't _been fast enough to duck out of sight, he'd brushed San off as best he could. Cutting off San's attempts to ask him questions about their Potions class or about their homework assignments and hurrying away. Normally he'd feel bad doing such a thing, but this was Choi San. Wooyoung was well aware at this point that San was the best student in their Potions class and he definitely didn't need any help from Wooyoung.

_Why does he keep paying attention to me? What does he want with me? That's the part I just don't understand, and honestly? I really don't want to dwell on it too much to try and figure it out. The others are right, they have to be. I can try and hope that it's nothing nefarious, nothing mean and he really does just want to make new friends. That everything that happened at Hogwarts has been left behind as it should be and he's starting over, which would explain the miraculous personality change __but...I know I'm just kidding myself. The others are right, he's probably planning something horrible for me, I just don't know what. The thing is, I haven't done anything to him, anything that would catch his attention, since that incident with Jongho, unless he's holding a grudge about that? It was so long ago though? _Wooyoung sighed. _I just have to keep avoiding him, keep him from having any kid of opening or opportunity and then maybe he'll go away. It won't be any fun for him, whatever it is, if I won't play right? Honestly, I'd have thought he would have given up by now. _

But San hadn't, and perhaps he'd even started to get a little impatient because today he'd thrown all caution to the wind and actually tried to approach Wooyoung in class for the first time, rather than just in the halls. Presumably he'd decided that Yeosang was the least troublesome out of all of his friends, and in class Yeosang was the only one he had to contend with...that and there was nowhere for Wooyoung to run or hide and Yeosang couldn't really do much in class with the professor there. Nothing too violent anyway. So rather than delivering his now usual, casual greeting and then continuing on his way...San had stopped beside their work bench and waited for Wooyoung to respond to him. His eyes fixed on Wooyoung's face, smirk in place and an expectant look in his eyes. Wooyoung had remained silent, flustered because San might be evil but he was definitely beautiful ,and unsure how to handle such a direct approach when he couldn't rush away and get lost in the crowded halls like he usually did. Upon being ignored, San had gone to speak. Opening his mouth to ask him who knew what when Yeosang had cut him off and sent him packing because just as Yeosang couldn't do anything too violent in the Potions room, San couldn't kick up a fuss either.

It had become clear to Wooyoung over the last few days that Choi San was after something, and despite the small, hopeful part of himself that he had to viciously squash on a regular basis trying to explain it all away as something that didn't send a bolt of dread down his spine, Wooyoung knew it. He just couldn't quite figure out _what _San was after, though he hadn't been trying too hard to puzzle it out...that line of thinking wouldn't lead to a pleasant night's sleep. Wooyoung might like to see the best in people, might like to try and relieve his anxiety and sense of dread at the whole situation by hypothesising that maybe San was nice now. Maybe he _had _changed, but Wooyoung knew what Choi San was. What he thought of people like Wooyoung and how he treated them. Remembered what he'd done to Jongho and how scared he'd been when Wooyoung had saved him from San. He couldn't ignore the things he'd been told by his friends either, or the stories he'd heard from other students throughout the school who'd approached him with words of warning once San's interest in him had become clear. It was hard to ignore that many people saying the same things over and over. San hadn't changed, and he knew it deep down despite how much he wished it was true. Despite how much he wished San's interest in him really was genuine. The fact that even Seonghwa didn't have a kind word to say about him was telling of his character.

Wooyoung sighed, staring blankly at Jongho's hands as he scribbled down notes from his Defence Against The Dark Arts textbook. Jongho must have felt Wooyoung's gaze because his quill stilled and he whispered, "are you alright hyung? Do you feel an evil presence? Because my Satan sense isn't tingling and my Satan sense is never wrong. Plus I already did a sweep of the stacks when we got here, he's not lurking in a dark corner creeping on you although I suppose he could have crawled out of whatever hole he slithers in to when he's doing being a raging assho-"

"I'm fine Jongho" Wooyoung whispered back, forcing a smile. "I'm just a little tired and finding it hard to focus."

"Oh, wanna take a break and go grab a snack then? Or an early dinner?" Jongho suggested.

"Sounds good Jongie" Wooyoung's smile was a little less forced this time, as he grinned back at Jongho who eagerly set about informing the other two of their plans. Wooyoung gave himself a mental shake.

_I can't let myself slip, I can't let myself daydream or hope for a moment that San's changed. That his interest in me isn't something to worry about, that it's something...good, for once. I'm all for giving people second chances but...that kind of blood hatred isn't something that's easily overcome and considering he was apparently still being an asshole in seventh year from what I've heard, I doubt he shook it off over the summer as part of some miraculous transformation to become a better person. Besides, someone like San wouldn't possibly be interested in me, not like that. Which means a hard no to hope and happily ever afters and a yes to fear and dread. Fantastic. _

* * *

San was _irritated _to another level. He'd spent the first couple of days attempting to catch Wooyoung's eye, to get his attention and then get close to him. It should have been a piece of cake for him, and by now he should have had Wooyoung at least partially wrapped around his little finger. The key word being, _should. _Instead he hadn't been able to get close and he'd been forced to watch Wooyoung from a distance like some kind of creepy _loser,_ waiting for a chance to grab him when he was alone. Every move he'd tried to make was thwarted by Wooyoung's irritating, dirty blooded friends. _Though Seonghwa doesn't really count I guess, considering he's a pureblood. Even if he does insist on sullying himself by spending time with the rest of them._

San hadn't encountered this problem before._ Ever_. Usually he locked on to his target, caught their eye, threw out an inviting smirk and waited for them to come to him. If that didn't work, he'd approach them, throw out a casual greeting and charm them with his words and dimpled smile...and then let the games begin. His methods had never failed him before, they _always _came to him with San putting in the bare minimum effort to get them to do so, dropping a few hints of his interest here and there but with Wooyoung that clearly wasn't going to work. He was proving to be more of a challenge right from the start, much to San's growing irritation.

The Hufflepuff refused to even look at San, studiously avoiding his gaze whenever San tried to catch his eye and invite him over with a look, or throw him a smirk or a cheeky wink. Wooyoung's gaze always remained focused on the floor, the ceiling, the work bench or their professor and whatever he was droning on about. His little friend, Yeo-something or whatever his name was, seated to the right of Wooyoung glared at him continuously whenever he noticed San's eyes on his friend and he made quite an effective barrier between the two of them. Moving his body to block the Hufflepuff from view as soon as he caught wind of San's attention as they brewed whichever potion they'd been tasked with creating that day, or scribbled notes down. His presence prevented him from even brushing past Wooyoung and getting him to at least look at him that way, with a featherlight accidental touch, or 'accidentally' bumping in to him.

The day after the challenge had been thrown down by his friends, San thought he had this in the bag. Wooyoung had looked at him, and San had gazed directly in to his eyes, not at all missing how Wooyoung's cheeks had flushed pink. _Gotcha, and with one look. I think that's a new personal best. _He'd thought triumphantly, smirking at Mingi who'd been watching the exchange.

"Tell Hongjoong to start preparing to pay up, I've been compiling a list of the ingredients I want and some of them are a _little _hard to find" San had said with an evil grin, Mingi eyeing him with a grimace. San had then set about trying to catch Wooyoung's eye again, and he had a few times. The Hufflepuff's eyes peeking at him now and then, and San would send him his signature smirk making him blush yet again. San had been all prepared to saunter over at the end of class and get this show on the road, figuring this was going to be the easiest bet he'd ever won...when Wooyoung's friend had grabbed him by the wrist and hurried him out of the classroom before San could get within speaking distance. After that, Wooyoung's friends had closed ranks and Wooyoung avoided him at all costs, brushing him off and hurrying past him when he couldn't and still refusing to meet his eyes. San greeted him each class without fail as he breezed past, but he got no acknowledgement from the Hufflepuff, just a hissed 'keep walking asshole' from the boys friend and a nasty look for his trouble the one time he'd decided he would wait for Wooyoung to respond to him. He'd even lowered himself to attempting to ask the Hufflepuff for help when it came to their Potions classes, as if he needed it, but he was still brushed off like he was _nothing. _It infuriated him.

He needed to do something, he still hadn't made any kind of contact with Wooyoung and it had already been days. He had no chance of getting close to Wooyoung in class because Yeosang refused to even let him get so much as a breath out, let alone a whole word. Which was fine. Irritating, but fine. Nothing more than a minor inconvenience really. Or at least it would be if San wasn't completely prevented from getting anywhere near Wooyoung _outside _of class as well. He'd wrongly thought that Wooyoung wouldn't be able to be with his friends at all times, that there would be plenty of chances outside of class for him to make a move and start working his magic on the Hufflepuff. But no, two more inconveniences had swiftly made their presence known...Seonghwa and Jongho.

Seonghwa he knew of thanks to Hongjoong and his endless pining. He might be a pureblood, and the object of Hongjoong's affections though who the hell knew _why, _when he insisted on befriending half-bloods and mud-bloods as if there were no other pureblood's for him to hang around with. The Ravenclaw might even be untouchable to San because Hongjoong would skin him alive if he even so much as breathed at the older boy wrong. But Seonghwa was getting on his last damn nerve. He was always there, walking Wooyoung through the halls, arm wrapped around the smaller boy. Clinging on to him and cooing over him, it was ridiculous. _Pathetic, actually. He's a pureblood for fucks sake and here he is, fawning all over a half-blood. I'm embarrassed for him, he should show some restraint. The world will keep on turning if he's not touching the Hufflepuff. _

Then there was the other one, Jongho. San remembered him from Hogwarts. How could he forget? His face was permanently imprinted in to his mind having been the cause of his humiliation all those years ago, along with Wooyoung. Jongho had undergone quite the transformation over the years, and he was always lurking near to Wooyoung. A large, intimidating presence playing bodyguard for his little friend. He even _dared _to lay a finger on San, to physically shove him away from Wooyoung as if he was some sort of commoner getting too close to a Prince. But it hadn't ended there either, he'd had the boys sharp elbow planted in to his ribs, and his feet 'accidentally' stepped on hard enough to make him have to suppress a shriek as he felt bones crunch. _You might be intimidating to everyone else you filthy mudblood, but not to me. You don't have the same protection that Seonghwa does either. You're nothing a little hex won't take care of the next time you so much as think of touching me. _

So San had decided to take his chances with Yeosang in Potions class. Yeosang was smaller than the other two, and so far all he'd done was attack him with words, San was fairly sure he could take the other boy if he had to but he doubted things would escalate in the middle of their classroom. _Really I should have tried this before, there's nowhere for Wooyoung to rush away to in here either but it's such a hassle dealing with Yeosang. He makes my blood boil. _

San had walked over to the work bench that Wooyoung and his friend were seat at as usual, waiting for class to start. He'd been all prepared to make up some bullshit excuse about needing to borrow a quill or needing to ask for Wooyoung's help to understand something. _Ridiculous, as if I'd ever need help with Potions, least of all from a half-blood. I'm the best in this entire class and I always have been. I've read every single textbook, and half the things the professor teaches us I already know. I'm only in this damn class because I have to be, because if I want to become an Alchemist then I have to sit through three years of being told everything I already know when I really just want to get out there. But I've got to do what I've got to do in order to win this, even if I have to go begging for help from a half-blood. _

He'd sauntered over to their work bench and greeted Wooyoung, a casual, friendly 'Hi Wooyoung' with his customary smirk in place. Wooyoung _still _wouldn't look at him, even as San had lingered there waiting for a response, and he wouldn't respond to him either though his cheeks had flushed once again. A sight San was fast becoming used to and he knew that he had some effect on the other boy. _Of course I do, who wouldn't react to a face like mine? _

San suspected the other boy was flustered, possibly because there was no way for him to escape and San kept his gaze on him, waiting for a response, with the smirk he knew flustered people of all ages and genders. But just in case he wasn't and instead had the sheer audacity to ignore him, San had been preparing to ask Wooyoung a question. A simple, 'how are you Wooyoung?' or 'can I borrow a quill?' something equally as mundane. Something that would prompt an interaction from the other boy. But as usual, Wooyoung's little friend had adamantly refused to give him so much as a millimetre of an opening. San had opened his mouth to speak, but Yeosang had been quicker.

"Do you need something? No? Then fuck off" Yeosang's voice had been far haughtier than it should have been for a half-blood and San had clenched his fists. Teeth grinding together at the sheer amount of self control it had taken for him to just smile and walk away instead of pulling his wand out and making that filthy half-blood regret opening his mouth. Because that wouldn't bring Wooyoung to him, in fact it would send him running. So his growing vendetta against Yeosang would have to wait until this stupid bet was over with. San burned with humiliation at the memory, but there'd been nothing he could do. Class was starting and he couldn't afford to scare Wooyoung off by attacking his best friend when he'd not even managed to get the boy to speak to him yet.

As the days passed San's frustration grew. Every time he thought he'd managed to get rid of one of them courtesy of some form of distraction or pure good luck...another of them would pop up out of nowhere.

They were _always _there, getting in his damn way and he'd had about enough of it. He'd tried everything he could think of at this point, taken every opportunity that he could to approach the Hufflepuff. Stealing his quills from out of his bag so that he could offer to lend him one when Wooyoung realised he didn't have anything to write with, frantically looking through his bag but finding nothing. But Wooyoung either refused to take one from him, Yeosang handing him one instead and shooting San a withering glare or Yeosang beaten him to it entirely before he'd even been able to make his way over, quill clutched in hand and ready to offer.

He'd tried to offer to lend Wooyoung additional texts for Potions class that he thought might help the Hufflepuff and be interesting if not useful reading but Wooyoung had brushed him off yet again, or one of his friends had shut him down before he'd even been able to get out a word. Leaving him standing there holding a dusty old book like an idiot. He'd even let Byeol, his cat, loose on Wooyoung's floor of the dorms, one of the only modern parts of Manyeo Jangso located at the back of the University, on the border where the traditional buildings and grounds of the University started to meet the modern buildings of Seoul. He'd been hoping that Wooyoung would 'find' her so that San could come rushing up faux frantically to collect her from him and try and start a conversation that way. However, that had just ended with Wooyoung fussing over the cat and ignoring San's existence, even when he'd uttered the largely unfamiliar words 'thank you' to him and told him her name.

One of his latest attempts had been to buy coffee for Wooyoung, the good stuff from an upmarket Cafe near to the campus. San had thought it would be a kind gesture, a _friendly _gesture and Wooyoung would have no choice but to speak to him then but the last time he'd attempted to give the boy the takeout cup, holding it out to him with a smile as they'd been about to enter their Potions class, Jongho had appeared out of nowhere and slapped it out of San's hand. The cup hitting the ground and the lid flying off to spray him with the drink. _If he humiliates me one more time, I don't care what Wooyoung will think, I'll curse him in to next week and then do damage control later. It's already difficult enough getting close to him, what's one more obstacle!? _

San much preferred it when Yeosang simply swiped the cup from his hand, holding it between two fingers to take a delicate, suspicious sniff, and then threw it in the bin muttering darkly about poisons. San had been putting in way more effort than he was used to for this half-blood Hufflepuff and it had yet to pay off, at least not in a way that benefitted him.

He'd had a rather..._lovely _conversation with Seonghwa earlier that morning. San had been on his way to get Wooyoung's cup of coffee in order to make one last attempt with it when the Ravenclaw had grabbed hold of his arm, yanked him in to the quiet, deserted courtyard and unceremoniously shoved him in to the wall.

"I don't know what you're up to Choi, or what you want with Wooyoung. I don't care and I don't have any desire to know what's going on in that nasty little head of yours. I'm just here to tell you that none of us are going to let you hurt Wooyoung okay? I'm going to say this once for you, and once only so pay attention." Seonghwa had hissed, leaning in close to his face. "Stay away from Wooyoung." He'd stared at San icily for a moment or two before adding, almost as an afterthought, "Please."

"I'm not up to anything Park, I'm just trying to make a cute new friend" San had responded, injecting as much innocence as he could in to the words and pushing himself off the wall. Seonghwa had responded by letting out a slightly chilling laugh and slamming him straight back in to it.

"Cut the shit. You and I and everyone on campus know that you're the spawn of Satan. There's no way your interest in Wooyoung isn't purely malicious, and I know you're plotting something. I'm asking you nicely, for now, to stay away from Wooyoung because I think it's only fair to give you a chance to prove me wrong. To not be the elitist, evil asshole that we all know you are"

"There's no need for name calling-"

"Shut the fuck up. You should know that I will do whatever it takes to protect him from you and whatever evil little scheme you've got going on. So will Yeosang and so will Jongho. Wooyoung doesn't deserve whatever it is you're planning to do to him, he's done nothing wrong here." Seonghwa had leaned in to him once again, so close this time that their noses had practically been touching.

"If you mess with him, you mess with me. And trust me San, you do not want to fuck with me because I will make your life a living hell" Seonghwa had pulled back, pasting a bright smile on his face.

"Have a nice day asshole" Seonghwa had finished, before turning and walking away as if nothing had happened. San had thought he'd become immune to the older boys cold gaze boring in to him whenever he'd tried to talk to Wooyoung but this little incident had been...something else. _Beautiful, pure angel my ass Hongjoong. I think he got sorted in to the wrong house back at Hogwarts. Though I'm impressed, I didn't know he had it in him. I thought all he could do was cling to Wooyoung like an annoying barnacle. _

And so here San was, a week and a half gone and no progress made with Wooyoung whatsoever courtesy of the irritants that he called friends.

_My usual methods apparently won't work this time, so I guess it's time to step things up a bit. Desperate times call for desperate measures...not that I'm desperate just yet. Me? Desperate because of a Hufflepuff? And a half-blood at that? No fucking way. I would never. But if I don't do something soon, I'm going to look weak and I'll never hear the end of it from the others, so I have no other choice._


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> F in the chat for Mingi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was supposed to be longer, but I ended up cutting it in half just so I could update sooner cause I haven't finished writing the rest of it but everyone's been leaving such nice and encouraging comments that I wanted to update ASAP <3 
> 
> I fixed most of the outline...I think, but I'm still not sure how long this is gonna be or where it's gonna take us cause I might change some stuff and some things aren't definite until I actually write them :') I think this fic might end up being longer than planned though but I guess we'll see, though I'll try not to drag it out too much! At this point I just want to get to the scene I envisioned when I came up with this fic! Now that I fixed the outline and got through the block I'm hoping to update faster...but I also had to drag myself through editing this because things are hard right now. I'll do my best! 
> 
> Still a little worried about pulling this fic off, but everyone's encouraging comments put me at ease and made me feel a lot more relaxed! 
> 
> Stay safe everyone, I hope you're all doing okay and if you ever need to chat or vent my [CC is open!](https://curiouscat.me/writingaria)

** _Yunho _ ** _changed the chat name from _ ** _Hiss Hiss Bitches _ ** _to _ ** _Two Snakes and a Gryfflepuff_ **

**Joong: **One, I'm surprised it took you that long

**Joong: **Two, what the fuck is a Gryfflepuff?!

**Yunho: **A combination of a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff, obviously

**Joong: **ObViOuSlY 

**Joong: **But why? 

**Yunho: **Because together Mingi and I are Yungi

**Yunho: **A two-some

**Yunho: **A Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff united in to one majestic force

**Yunho: **The Gryfflepuff

**Joong: **….I'm sorry I asked

**Joong: **Genuinely.

**Yunho: **Anywho, I heard San got kabedon'd by Seonghwa this morning

**Yunho: **And not in a good way

**Joong: **He WHAT?!

**Joong: **Sometimes it really be your own friends tf 

**Joong: **San you little goblin, stay AWAY from Seonghwa!

**Joong: **I SAW HIM FIRST! HE'S MINE 

**Yunho: **Yeah, in your dreams hyung

**Joong: **Shut the fuck up Yunho

**Yunho: **Relax hyung, I guarantee it wasn't a fun experience for our Sannie

**Yunho: **Looks like your boys got a dark side hyung

**Yunho: **Threats were made, gauntlets were thrown

**Yunho: **Not literally, but you get the idea

**Yunho: **He's quite protective of the little Hufflepuff, you might have competition hyung

**Joong: **Wha-

**Mingi: **SAN GET BACK HERE YOU OWE ME A NEW SHIRT

**Mingi: **THAT YEOSANG DEMON THREW THE LOBALUG VENOM AT ME

**Yunho: **Who did WHAT now?!

**Mingi: **THAT SHIT BURNS SAN

**Yunho: **NO MY BABY

**Yunho: **Are you okay!?

**Mingi: **No. The venom went all over me and it stained my shirt green

**Mingi: **and it smells really fucking bad too

**Mingi: **Everyone in class was laughing at me :(

**Yunho: **I want names

**Yunho: **I'll curse every single one of them, how DARE they make my baby sad

**Mingi: **It was my favourite shirt Yunnie :(((

**Yunho: **I'll fucking end them

**Yunho:** Don't hold me back hyung!

**Joong: **Bold of you to assume I'd bother. 

**San: **YOU HAD ONE JOB MINGI

**San: **Distract the annoying half-blood constantly attached to the Hufflepuff

**San: **BUT YOU FAILED

**San: **It was a simple task for fucks sake

**San: **An idiot could do it-oh wait

**Yunho: **Fuck off San, don't talk shit about the loml

**Mingi: **I TRIED okay

**Mingi: **He may be smol but he's vicious 

**Joong: **What the fuck happened now? 

**Joong: **I'm tired and I don't have the patience to piece it together from all the yelling 

**Mingi: **San's been striking out with Wooyoung for days right?

**Mingi: **Like over a week

**San: **Thanks for the reminder traitor

**Yunho: **It brings me joy, so much joy.

**Yunho: **I'vE gOt ThIs In ThE bAg

**Yunho: **Better start preparing your heartfelt confession Sannie~

**San: **FUCK YOU

**Joong: **Yes Mingi.

**Joong: **We are aware

**Joong: **Continue

**Mingi: **Well San asked me to distract Wooyoung's friend in Potions so that he could try and talk to him without all the cursing and the glaring and the general hostility

**Mingi: **Cause he's got no chance outside of class thanks to the other two

**Mingi: **And I TRIED okay, but he wasn't having it

**Mingi: **I'm telling you he KNOWS

**Mingi: **He kept looking at me like I'd rolled around in Hippogriff shit or something

**Mingi: **He was on to me from the start, he knew exactly what I was doing and he's REALLY protective of his friend

**Mingi: **They all are

**Mingi: **San's totally fucked

**Yunho: **wbk 

**Yunho: **Thought it was the sunshine-yness that would get him, not the overprotective friends willing to cut his balls off just for looking at the guy

**Yunho: **I love this development 

**Joong: **Can we get back to the point? 

**Joong: **What actually happened!? 

**Mingi: **I kept trying to block him from seeing while San went to talk to Wooyoung but he didn't even pause, he kept trying to get around me

**Mingi: **and I kept trying to talk to him and make conversation to keep him focused on me

**Mingi: **but he wouldn't even answer me properly after I went to all the effort of bothering to talk to him in the first place

**Mingi: **He just kept saying 'get the fuck out of my way' and 'fuck off treebeard'

**Mingi: **What does that even MEAN?!

**Mingi: **TREES DON'T HAVE BEARDS

**Mingi: **DO I LOOK LIKE A TREE'S BEARD?!

**Yunho: **No baby, of course you don't 

**Mingi: **WAIT 

**Mingi: **YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A TREE'S BEARD LOOKS LIKE DO YOU!? 

**Yunho: **......no. 

**Yunho:** but it sounds ugly and my baby's beautiful so 

**Joong: **I think it's a muggle movie reference but continue

**Mingi: **He'd been away from Wooyoung because he'd gone to get their ingredients for the potion we were supposed to be making

**Mingi: **And when I blocked him for like the sixth time he just went fucking feral

**Mingi: **and he threw the lobalug venom all over me, he didn't even HESITATE

**Mingi: **I could have DIED

**Joong: **Lobalug venom's pretty harmless but okay

**Mingi: **IT BURNS AND IT WENT ALL OVER MY FAVOURITE SHIRT AND RUINED IT AND EVERYONE LAUGHED AT ME AND IT SMELLS SO FUCKING NASTY CAN'T YOU READ?!

**Yunho: **Cut him some slack, he's getting old 

**Joong:** Yunho I swear-

**Mingi:** I HAD TO SIT LIKE THAT IN CLASS HYUNG

**Mingi: **FOR THREE FUCKING HOURS

**Mingi: **AND FOR WHAT?!

**Mingi: **I WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT AND SAN DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO WOOYOUNG

**Yunho: **Baby, it's okay, calm down

**Yunho: **I'll levicorpus him off of the Astronomy tower

**Yunho: **It's what he deserves

**Yunho: **He's got a lot of nerve for a half-blood

**Joong: **Wait, what do you mean San didn't even talk to the guy?

**San: **It's not like I didn't try okay

**Mingi: **Yeah he even did that swaggery walk he does when he thinks he looks sexy but really he just looks like he needs to pee

**Mingi: **But when he got to Wooyoung's table he wouldn't even look up at San

**Mingi: **It was like San didn't even exist for him, like he was one of the Uni ghosts

**Mingi: **It was actually pretty funny...until the venom

**San: **Yes, THANK YOU Mingi for that fantastic commentary

**San: **He should be honoured I'm even deigning to talk to him but he actually ignored me?! ME?!

**Mingi: **MOOD

**San: **I tried everything to get him to talk to me, the smile, the wink, the accidental arm brush, the playful nudge, asking him for help, EVERYTHING

**San: **It works on everyone else but he just kept shrugging me off

**San: **I barely got a response 

**San: **BARELY 

**San: **He should have been falling at my feet

**San: **What the fuck

**Yunho: **I predict failure in your future Sannie~

**Yunho: **Prepare to be humiliated ~

**San: **Shut the FUCK up Yunho I don't have the patience.

**San: **I've had Seonghwa all up in my face threatening me this morning

**San: **Coffee splashed all over me

**San: **I've been ignored, insulted, trodden on and had my ribs viciously assaulted by an elbow

**San: **I've put up with so much shit from these filthy blooded freaks

**Joong: **Seonghwa isn't filthy blooded okay, he's a pureblooded angel

**San: **Is he fuck.

**San: **He's always clinging all over Wooyoung, always touching him

**San: **Who needs to touch someone that much!?

**Yunho: **Are you jealous Sannie ~

**San: **NO OF COURSE I'M NOT JEALOUS DON'T BE RIDICULOUS

**San: **He's just so fucking annoying and today he threatened me Hongjoong

**San: **THREATENED me

**San: **There was nothing angelic or pure about it

**San: **YoU dOn'T wAnT tO fUcK wItH mE

**Joong: **We love a protective man

**San: **No. We don't.

**Joong: **Speak for yourself

**Joong: **Was he hot when he was threatening you?

**Joong: **I bet he was hot

**Yunho: **According to my sources he was...*fans self*

**San: **Whatever, this has gone on long enough

**San: **I've got a little something up my sleeve

**San: **Plan L

**Joong: **You've struck out so much you're already up to L?!

**Joong: **I'm doomed

**Joong: **I mean…you're doomed. You. You and you alone

**Yunho: **Smooth hyung.

**Yunho: **I'm surprised you haven't volunteered to distract Seonghwa so he can get in close between classes

**Yunho: **You need to start pulling your weight 

**Mingi: **That'd never work, Seonghwa hates him

**Yunho: **True, but it never stops him from trying does it?

**Joong: **I hate you all

**Joong:** San, where are you? You're late and I'm hungry

**Yunho: **Me too

**Mingi: **Me three, where the fuck did you go?! You were right behind me when we came out of class

**San: **You'll heave to eat without me

**San: **All my waiting finally paid off and it's time to enact the previously mentioned Plan L

**Joong: **Was that supposed to be ominous San?

**Yunho: **L isn't exactly an ominous letter, X on the other hand...

**Mingi: **Doesn't have a great ring to it San, can't lie

**Joong: **It's very shitty PG villain of you 

**Yunho: **What's the L stand for anyway?

**Mingi: **'Last ditch'?

**Yunho: **'Last resort'?

**Mingi: **'Lost cause'?

**Yunho: **'Love me please I'm BEGGING YOU PLEASE'?

**Joong: **Lunch, you idiots.

**Joong: **It's clearly plan L for lunch

**Mingi: **That's the worst code name ever San

**Mingi: **Creativity: 0/10

**Yunho: **Dreadful, truly dreadful

**Mingi: **Would not recommend

**San: **Don't you have some stinky venom to wash out of your precious shirt while you whine to Yunho so he can baby you?

**Mingi: **FUCK YOU

San clenched his phone in his hand before shoving it deep in to his pocket. He couldn't afford to be distracted, not right now. He had a very limited timeframe to work with, and one chance to pull this off. Though he wouldn't even need to be here, lurking around in the shadows and lying in wait like some kind of creepy stalker if Mingi had just managed to do his damn job. It shouldn't even have been that hard, Yeosang was practically half his size...sort of.

San never asked for help, not for anything and certainly not when it came to their little games. He'd never needed it before, he'd always managed to get his targets locked down within a week...two at most and after that he just toyed with them until he got bored. At least until now. As each attempt he made to even have just a damn conversation with Wooyoung failed, San had gotten more frustrated and maybe a little bit desperate. Not that he'd admit it out loud to anyone, but it had nearly been a week and he'd gotten nowhere. Sure he still had plenty of time, but he should have made a move on Wooyoung by now. Should be in the beginning stages of making Wooyoung fall for him and fall hard. It was a personal affront that he still hadn't been able to get close enough, hadn't managed to get a word out of Wooyoung other than some stuttering. San couldn't allow it to stand, it all came to an end today. Or at least it should have, had Mingi completed the one very simple task San had set for him.

As he'd realised just how much time had passed, and how little progress he'd made, San had caved and gone to Mingi for help. Just that morning in fact, after his little run in with Seonghwa. As soon as Seonghwa had walked away San had abandoned his coffee plans in favour of tracking Mingi down and convincing him to help him. Mingi was slightly more of a soft touch than his other two friends and less likely to make fun of him for asking, though he'd only agreed to help because he'd felt 'fucking awful' for San and it was 'painful to watch you embarrass yourself in front of the mud-bloods'. As well as something about him deserving a fighting chance before total humiliation. San suspected Wooyoung being the target also amused Mingi, and he couldn't wait for San to have to put up with the boy and his...sunshiney-ness. Normally San would have had some choice words to say back to Mingi but...he'd let it slide, at least for now, in favour of enlisting Mingi to get Yeosang off his back long enough for him to finally talk to Wooyoung.

But things hadn't quite gone according to plan. It had been humiliating enough to go to Mingi for help in the first place, the fact that it had all been for nothing made it even worse and San balked at the memory.

_As soon as he saw Yeosang get up from his seat next to Wooyoung, heading off to collect their ingredients, San made his move. Sauntering oh so casually over to Wooyoung who was busy going over the instructions for the potion they were supposed to brew. His brows furrowed as he chewed on his bottom lip and radiating that sunshine-y aura that was perpetually around him. It was sickening. _

_"Hey Wooyoung" San threw out, softly so as not to startle the boy. San had expected the Hufflepuff to be happy to be approached by him, he knew Wooyoung at least thought he was good looking thanks to all the blushing he did whenever San looked at him. But instead he watched as Wooyoung immediately stiffened up, fixing his eyes on the instructions in his hand and not once glancing up at him. San leaned down, trying to look in to the other boys eyes but Wooyoung raised the parchment he was holding higher, shielding them. _

_"I know you're not reading that" San chuckled, lightly brushing Wooyoung's arm with his hand. Silence. Determined to get Wooyoung to speak to him properly, to have a real conversation with him San lowered himself once again. Swallowing back his pride to do so. _

_"Look, I'm really not sure how we're supposed to do this, can you explain-" San started, pointing to the instructions Wooyoung was clutching. _

_"You and I both know that Potions is the last subject you need help in San" Wooyoung's reply was quiet but blunt. San blinked at him, then shook off his surprise. _

_"Then can I borrow a quill?" San continued, undeterred. Wooyoung pointed past San, right to the stash of spare quills he'd accumulated, as he'd tried to lend one to Wooyoung, that were spilling out of his open bag. San let out a quiet laugh. _

_"You got me again. Look, I just wanted an excuse to talk to you Wooyoung." Wooyoung stilled at San's words. "How's things?" San tried. _

_"Fine" came the nervous, quiet reply. San silently cheered as he leaned down close to Wooyoung. _

_"You're supposed to ask me too" he teased, tilting his head and gazing at Wooyoung. The other boy was doing his best to look anywhere but San's eyes, that pink blush present once again. San reached out, touching Wooyoung's curly blonde hair, playing with a lock of it. _

_"This colour really suits you, you know. It's such a pretty colour-" _

_"It's just blonde" Wooyoung mumbled. San smirked. _

_"You didn't let me finish, it's pretty-" San leaned close. "Like you" he whispered. Watching in satisfaction as Wooyoung flushed a deeper pink. It was at that point that Mingi shrieked like a banshee, shattering the little bubble he and Wooyoung had been in. Wooyoung's eyes slid away from San, going wide and he immediately shot up and rushed past him. San whirled to see what the hell was going on...only to see Mingi standing there dripping something green from his shirt while Wooyoung fussed over his friend as if he'd been the one attacked and not the other way around. _

That had been that. San had barely gotten a word out of him here and there, let alone a decent conversation. The Hufflepuff's guard was certainly up around him. _I suppose my reputation precedes me, that's going to make this harder but not impossible. He blushed when I touched his hair and called him cute, he tried to hide it...but I could tell. He's obviously not immune to my handsome face, though he does seem to be a little bit shy...I just need to get past his friends and get him alone, I'll have him hooked in five minutes max. He's a shy little Hufflepuff, he doesn't stand a chance against me and I'm not going to give up easily. My reputation is at stake here, I can't go down without a fight. I won't. _

San had tried to catch Wooyoung after class, leaving Mingi pouting and whining about his stupid shirt to anyone within a two mile radius that would listen. But Yeosang had grabbed his friend by the hand and towed him fast down the hall and away from San before he could even form a word. _I should have grabbed Wooyoung's arm or something, but I don't trust that demon he calls a friend not to rip it off. _San had been left standing there, watching Wooyoung's blonde hair disappear amidst the crowd of other students. His shouted 'Bye Wooyoungie!' receiving no acknowledgement whatsoever.

San was fast running out of options, and he'd already wasted a week and a half getting absolutely nowhere with Wooyoung. He'd pulled out all of his best moves, but the Hufflepuff still hadn't come to him like all the others had before. His attempt to talk to him in class today should have been the final move he'd needed to make to have Wooyoung under his spell, but that had failed too. He didn't know what else to try and he was getting antsy.

_I never have to work this hard to get someone's attention, to get someone to just talk to me dammit. I need to do something, I need to make some headway here or the others will start questioning my skills. Hell even I'm questioning my own skills because it shouldn't be this damn hard. I should be well on my way to having Wooyoung wrapped around my finger by now, instead Seonghwa and Yeosang are constantly hanging all over him, holding his hands and fussing over him, it's so unnecessary and so fucking annoying. Jongho, on the other hand, would quite happily tackle me to the ground if I get too close, I can tell. It's the look in his eye, and the elbow he's planted in my ribs too many times. As long as he's around, if I try and get to Wooyoung he will physically put me down and I don't need another humiliation at the hands of that mud-blood. _

_I need to approach Wooyoung somewhere with plenty of witnesses and no noxious substances, where his friends can't act up and I can finally make a move on him without those _ _annoyances getting in my damn way. If they're not even there then that's a bonus for me. Which leaves one place...I don't know where he and Yeosang went after class. I assume they went back to the dorms or to the library or something...but they've got to come here eventually. They won't be able to avoid it and when they do get here...I'll be waiting. I don't care if he's got one friend with him, or all of them. They won't be able to avoid me this time. _

San had thought, lurking in a shadowy alcove. But the reality of the situation had turned out to be so much better than anything he could have hoped for. San allowed himself a small, satisfied smirk as he spied his target.

_I haven't been lurking here for the best part of two hours for nothing it seems. Jung Wooyoung you won't escape me this time._

** _ Wooyoung Protection Squad _ **

**Jongho: **So I'm hearing some rumours lately

**Jongho: **Or more specifically this morning.

**Sangie: **Oooh I love rumours, what kind!?

**Jongho: **Oh the usual, Felix is dating Hyunjin, Yuchan accidentally blew up one of the Potions labs, Seonghwa hyung threatened San-

**Woo: **Seonghwa hyung did WHAT?!

**Jongho: **and Yeosang threw some nasty smelling venom over San's tall sidekick and cursed at him in muggle.

**Woo: **Yeah, that one's true.

**Woo: **He threw the lobalug venom all over him

**Sangie:** He had it coming, he wouldn't get out of my damn way

**Woo: **And then he called him 'treebeard' with a few f-bombs thrown in that Seonghwa hyung won't like me repeating

**Woo: **It was a little bit over dramatic Sangie

**Hwa: **KANG YEOSANG

**Hwa: **I raised you better than that

**Hwa: **You can't just toss potions ingredients around when someone annoys you, that's going too far

**Jongho: **Yeah hyung, some of that shit's like...super dangerous

**Jongho: **Eat through your flesh right to the bone kinda dangerous

**Jongho: **You should have waited until there were no witnesses

**Hwa: **CHOI JONGHO DO NOT ENCOURAGE THE LITTLE SAVAGE

**Sangie: **You're in no position to lecture me hyung

**Sangie: **You took him outside and dragged him in to a back alley to threaten his life

**Sangie: **It was very protective mafia boyfriend of you

**Hwa: **I-what?! There was no back alley!

**Hwa: **I just pulled him aside in to an AESTHETICALLY PLEASING AND QUIET COURTYARD and asked him politely to leave Wooyoungie alone like the civilised person that I am.

**Jongho: **Since when is 'you do not want to fuck with me because I will make your life a living hell' being civilised hyung?!

**Woo: **Hyuuuung you didn't?!

**Hwa: **I said please!

**Hwa: **And I even told him to have a nice day with a SMILE

**Jongho: **Was it your regular smile where you kinda look like you're in pain and therefore look completely unthreatening or is it that smile you do when you look dead behind the eyes and it's lowkey chilling?

**Jongho: **Cause the 'asshole' you followed it up with is infinitely scarier if it's the latter.

**Hwa: **Wtf it was just a smile!?

**Jongho: **I also heard you released your inner alpha and slammed him against a wall anime style

**Sangie: **The term you're looking for is kabedon

**Hwa: **I did NOT I just...pushed him against the wall GENTLY...so he'd be out of sight of anyone else

**Hwa: **and to assert dominance so he wouldn't try and mess with me

**Sangie: **Wow.

**Jongho: **I don't think there was anything gentle about it hyung, not from what I've been told

**Hwa: **I-how do you know all this!?

**Jongho: **I have my sources

**Hwa:** ....what did you bribe Changkyun with!? 

**Jongho: **Nothing you need concern yourself with hyung

**Jongho: **Just know that you got him reaaaally hot and bothered, which is quite impressive considering he's dead.

**Jongho: **Which reminds me, he wanted me to tell you that you're 'hot as fuck and death is just a state of being'

**Hwa:** Lovely.

**Hwa: **Back to Yeosang-

**Sangie: **Look, that Mingi guy was in my way, trying to distract me so San could get to Woo

**Sangie: **Was I supposed to just let them get on with it!?

**Hwa: **There are better ways

**Hwa: **Ways that won't get you expelled

**Sangie: **He kept dodging whichever way I tried to go hyung!

**Sangie:** Asking me bullshit questions about class as if he gives a fuck or would even listen to what a half-blood has to say

**Sangie: **He and San were up to something, they were trying to get Woo alone

**Sangie: **I had no idea what they were plotting

**Sangie: **For all I knew San could have been trying to poison him or hex him or throw something nasty over him that could have hurt him

**Sangie: **Don't you get that hyung?!

**Hwa: **Of course I do, I don't want Wooyoungie to get hurt either but-

**Sangie: **Look, Mingi wouldn't fucking move, so I made him move.

**Sangie: **and he's as tall as an Ent, did I fucking lie?

**Jongho: **Points were made.

**Sangie: **Right!? Why is no-one coming for Seonghwa hyung for being 'over dramatic' and 'going too far'?!

**Jongho:** Cause Hwa hyung took it outside and made sure there were no witnesses, mafia style

**Hwa: **Because I didn't throw a potentially lethal substance at someone

**Sangie: **No you just manhandled, intimidated and threatened someone instead

**Sangie: **I COULD have thrown the exploding fluid from the erumpent horn over him and made his head go BOOM

**Sangie: **But I didn't cause self restraint

**Sangie: **Praise me bitches

**Hwa: **That's...that's not how erumpent horn fluid works Yeosang

**Hwa: **But whatever.

**Hwa: **Look, maybe I did over react a little bit but I had to do something

**Hwa: **This is getting out of hand

**Hwa: **No matter what we do to keep him away, he just won't give up and he's so focused on Woo it worries me

**Sangie: **He has the nerve to call him Wooyoungie

**Sangie: **'Hi Wooyoungie~' 'Bye Wooyoungie~'

**Sangie: **I don't like it, it's disturbing

**Jongho: **It's pretty OTT for him, he's going out of his way to talk to Woo

**Sangie: **That's not the worst of it

**Sangie: **I saw him smile at Woo the other day

**Sangie: **It was fucking terrifying

**Woo: **He has dimples

**Woo:** There's nothing remotely terrifying about dimples

**Sangie: **There is when they're attached to Choi San

**Sangie: **They're dimples of evil

**Sangie: **Designed to lure you in and lull you in to a false sense of security so that he can strike

**Jongho: **He keeps trying to give him coffee too

**Jongho: **It's surprisingly friendly of him

**Sangie: **It's probably poisoned.

**Sangie: **Something that'll make you suffer before it kills you, don't forget that Jongho

**Woo: **No chance of that Yeosang

**Woo: **He slapped that coffee cup out of San's hand like it was a basketball the other day

**Jongho: **Slam dunk

**Woo: **It went everywhere Jongho, did you need to go that far?

**Jongho: **My hand slipped and I just don't know my own strength

**Hwa: **Wooyoungie doesn't even like coffee

**Hwa: **He's doing all this to get close to him and he can't even be bothered to find out what he likes and what he doesn't

**Sangie: **That's really not the issue here hyung

**Sangie: **The issue is that he's clearly up to something and he won't let it die.

**Sangie: **Normally he'd have given up by now because if he can't fuck with you it's no fun for him

**Sangie: **And we've given him zero openings

**Sangie: **But he just won't drop it and he even roped in the walking tree to help

**Jongho: **I think it's pretty clear that he's determined to kill Wooyoung hyung as vengeance for first year

**Jongho: **Jokes on him though cause I'm pretty sure Wooyoung would end up as one of the University ghosts and then he'd haunt San until he drove him insane.

**Sangie: **You and I both know if Wooyoung became a ghost he'd end up being the nice kind

**Sangie: **Helping kids with their homework, guiding them when they get lost in the halls, chatting to the loners so they aren't so...lonely

**Sangie: **He'd be Wooyoungie the friendly ghost.

**Jongho: **Boring, my version's better

**Hwa: **Wooyoung's not going to die and he won't be becoming a ghost okay?!

**Hwa: **I'll rip San apart before that happens

**Sangie:** Suddenly I see where Changkyun was coming from 

**Jongho: **Let's be real, between the two of us I'm the only one capable of ripping someone apart 

**Sangie: **True

**Sangie: **But when Woo's involved Hwa hyung gets ragey 

**Sangie: **Like a mother bear but less furry 

**Woo: **Um...guys?

**Sangie: **What's up Woo?

**Woo: **Are you coming to lunch any time soon?

**Sangie: **We're on our way, why?

**Woo: **Could you, uh...hurry?

**Sangie: **Wooyoungie sweetie, I love you but I don't run for anyone okay?

**Sangie: **I'll be there soon

**Jongo: **What happened to "WOOYOUNGIE'S IN MORTAL DANGER MUST PROTECC"!?

**Sangie: **I sweat for nothing and no-one

**Jongho: **I'm almost there hyung, give me a minute

**Hwa: **Wait, neither of you are with him?

**Sangie: **I thought Jongho was?!

**Jongho: **No, I've just had Defence Against the Dark Arts

**Jongho: **I thought he was with Seonghwa hyung?

**Hwa: **I'm at the Astronomy tower, I thought he was with Yeosang?

**Sangie: **He was, we went back to the dorms after Potions and I had a nap

**Sangie: **When I woke up he wasn't there so I figured he'd gone to lunch early with Jongho

**Sangie: **I was a little pissed you didn't wait for me, not gonna lie

**Jongho: **No, class ran over and I haven't been back to the dorms

**Woo: **I'm sorry, I just wanted to get some air and I thought it would be fine so I went for a walk and I didn't wake Yeosang

**Woo: **I love you and I know you're looking out for me but I just need some space

**Woo: **And I figured by the time I got here for lunch you'd all be here anyway

**Woo: **But instead I'm a little early and I'm sitting by myself-

**Sangie: **I sweat for one (1) person

**Sangie: **I'M COMING WOOYOUNGIE

**Woo: **Can you come faster?

**Hwa: **What's wrong?

**Woo: **Um, it's just...he's here

**Hwa: **Who?

**Jongho: **wdym who hyung?! 

**Jongho: **We only have one enemy right now! 

**Sangie: **WHY IS YEONJUN TELLING ME THAT SAN IS HEADING YOUR WAY??

**Sangie: **AND THAT HE BOUGHT YOU LUNCH?!

**Jongho: **CODE RED CODE RED

**Sangie: **I'M COMING RIGHT NOW

**Sangie: **WHATEVER YOU DO WOOYOUNG DON'T EAT ANYTHING HE GIVES YOU

**Jongho: **HE'S PROBABLY POISONED IT, YOU'LL DIE

**Jongho: **YOU CAN'T DIE HYUNG YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I CAN TOLERATE WHEN I NEED SNUGGLES

**Woo: **We both know that's a lie

**Jongho: **Not the time hyung

**Sangie: **FUCKING RUN JONGHO

**Sangie: **YOU'RE CLOSEST GET THERE RIGHT NOW

**Sangie: **KEEP HIM AWAY FROM WOOYOUNG

**Sangie: **BREAK HIS LEGS IF YOU HAVE TO

**Sangie: **SEONGHWA HYUNG WHERE ARE YOU!?

**Hwa: **I TOLD you, the Astronomy tower

**Sangie: **And you call yourself the leader of the Wooyoung Protection Squad

**Sangie: **What's the point of you if you're not even around to do your job!?

**Sangie: **WOOYOUNG COULD BE SECONDS AWAY FROM DEATH

**Hwa: **I HAD CLASS

**Sangie: **I hope you realise who is the correct choice for such a serious leadership position

**Hwa:** You lost him when he was in the same fucking apartment as you!?

**Jongho: **Hwa hyung cursed over text, shit just got real

**Hwa: **Fuck it, I'm apparating there right now

**Hwa: **Just as soon as I get rid of the gremlin clinging to my arm ugh

**Sangie:** LESS TEXTING AND MORE RUNNING

**Sangie: **WOOYOUNG NEEDS US


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch time showdown and...a new scheme?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
Sorry if this chapter is a bit eh, I've been editing it while being super tired and headachey mostly, and things are kinda stressful right now but I'm trying to update this at least once a month although I'm hoping to update it faster soon :') I've got a plan in place for a writing schedule for at least Summer when I'm not at uni but uni just royally screwed me over so bear with me for a couple of weeks! 
> 
> I did overcome my block with this and had a super fun idea for one of the upcoming chapters that's a little bit different and I hope you'll enjoy it! It should also speed things along a little because it's been kinda slow so far! 
> 
> Also, sorry to lower the tone but I did kind of debate discontinuing this in light of JKR's latest problematic behaviour. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable so I'm gonna say that I really don't agree with anything she says which you'll know if you follow me on Twitter and I haven't followed her in a really long time because she's so problematic. If you guys are happy for me to continue with this then I will, I feel like although I borrow stuff from the HP universe, this is kind of separated a little from it? Like I use the houses and some other bits but the setting is all my own etc so it's kind of removed a little from the universe, idk. I'm probably being ott about this but she said some really harmful stuff and I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable!

Wooyoung was sitting at their usual table in Manyeo Jangso's version of the great hall, a large room filled with long, rectangular tables big enough to fit around eight people and scattered throughout the room. He knew he shouldn't have snuck out of the apartment without Yeosang, but as much as he loved his friends and appreciated what they were doing he was starting to get a little stifled. So when he'd walked out of his bedroom to see Yeosang asleep on their couch, instead of waking his friend up and pestering him to take a walk with him...Wooyoung had just gone. And it had been fine, it really had. He hadn't run into San or any of his friends, he'd gotten some air and his mood had definitely improved. He was feeling a lot more positive about everything and less on edge like he had been for days. But he'd ended up reaching the dining hall earlier than the others, Jongho having to come from Defence Against the Dark Arts, Yeosang the dorms at the back of campus and Seonghwa over on the other side of it. He'd tried to time his walk so that he would arrive just as the others did, hopefully meeting up with them outside the dining hall, Yeosang no doubt ready to yell at him for leaving without him but it would seem that he'd seriously miscalculated and overestimated Yeosang's post-nap brain.

Wooyoung would have waited outside the dining hall but he'd felt a weird prickling sensation...as if he was being watched, so instead he'd quickly hurried on into the dining hall, taking a place at their table while he waited for his friends. He didn't expect them to be too long, and he'd been fine throughout the entirety of his walk...so waiting a few minutes for the others to join him shouldn't be a problem. At least, that's what he'd thought before he noticed Choi San breeze into the place. Suddenly Wooyoung felt a lot less relaxed about the whole situation and incredibly exposed thanks to the glaring absence of his friends and the protective barrier they’d taken to forming. 

_ It's fine. There’s no need to panic. They're on their way and any minute now I'll have to deal with an angry Yeosang and a silently disapproving Jongho all while Seonghwa fusses...if he can get away from that Slytherin boy Hongjoong any time soon.  _

He'd told himself, attempting to remain calm as he'd felt San's glaring presence throughout the room, doing his best not to even glance in the boy's direction. And he’d done an admirable job at it, focusing on messaging his friends and ignoring San’s existence. It was only when he’d seen Yeosang’s message that he’d actively started to panic;  _ Why is Yeonjun telling me that San is heading your way and that he bought you lunch?!  _

"What?" Wooyoung muttered, stomach sinking at the words just as a dark shadow fell over him.

"Hey Wooyoungieee" a now familiar voice practically sang, making him look up with dread into Choi San's smiling eyes. "Mind if I join? You look lonely all by yourself" San asked, though he didn't wait for an answer. He promptly sat himself down in the seat next to Wooyoung before he could even form a thought in response, plonking two trays of food down onto the table and making himself comfortable.

"Hope you don't mind but I got you some food, you shouldn't skip meals!" San scolded, playfully. Sending a pointed look at the empty space in front of Wooyoung. 

"I was waiting for my friends" Wooyoung mumbled.

"Well, now you don't have to. I uh... _ convinced  _ the house elves to help me so there should be something you like there" San winked, nodding to the trays. 

Wooyoung was more than aware that the house elves quite possibly had a bit of a soft spot for him considering he made an effort to talk to each of them every meal time when he picked out his food - and sometimes snuck into the kitchen to beg for homemade snacks - when he didn't feel like going off-campus for it. Wooyoung's friendliness made him memorable so it was no surprise that the house elves remembered his preferences and the dishes he favoured. What was surprising was that they'd helped San. The house elves  _ were  _ a friendly bunch themselves, but this seemed...a little out of the ordinary.

_ When he says he convinced them does he mean that he….threatened them? Wait, of course he does, he's Choi San. Those poor elves... _

Wooyoung’s eyes fell to the nearby tray of food, eyeing it and immediately picking out a couple of his favourite foods; bulgogi, tteokbokki and fried chicken along with some ramyeon and gimbap. 

_ Not only did they help him, but they helped him pretty thoroughly which means his ‘convincing’ must have been terrifying or….or maybe he didn’t actually threaten them? Maybe he really did just ask them, convince them by being sincere and they were willing to help him because he wanted to do something nice for me? That’s...that’s possible isn’t it?  _

Ordinarily Wooyoung would never ask for the amount of dishes that San currently had piled onto the tray, not unless he was sharing with his friends or he just really needed a pick-me-up. San had either scared the elves enough that they just threw everything they knew Wooyoung liked onto the tray, or he’d charmed them enough that they’d gone above and beyond to help him, Wooyoung couldn’t quite decide which and he eyed San out of the corner of his eye. 

The boy was digging into his food and Wooyoung didn't miss the way that he practically ate in pout.  _ Cute.  _ He thought before viciously shaking the thought away. San wasn't  _ cute.  _ San was an asshole. Wooyoung remembered saving Jongho that day, even if he hadn't quite remembered the face of the boys' tormentor. He could still recall the scene vividly, the fear in Jongho's eyes and the welling tears which was at odds with the current scene of San happily munching away at his food and looking utterly harmless. 

_ He might be the prettiest boy I've ever seen but it's obvious that he's an absolute asshole verging on being straight out evil.  _

San might have deigned to sit right next to him, talking to him quite happily and projecting a benign aura, but Wooyoung knew that there was a high chance San was pulling something and it made him nervous. 

_ He has absolutely no reason to come and sit with me...let alone to buy me food. We're not friends. We never have been and we never will be. He hates people like me...people with my blood and I really don't think I'm his favourite person in the world after I told him off in front of everyone that time. What did Jongho call him? Thorin Oakenshield? He 'never forgave and he never forgot' and from what I've heard about San...it's true. He holds grudges, so he must have a huge one against me. I'm not an idiot. He's never shown any interest in me before now, and the fact that he suddenly has isn't in any way a good thing, I know that. I know that he wants something from me. Or he wants to do something to me.  _

Wooyoung eyed the food once again, as if he was eyeing a poisonous snake he’d suddenly been confronted with. 

"Why aren't you eating?" San asked him, pushing the tray closer. "Don’t be shy, go on. It's not like it's poisoned" San's voice was playful, dimples making an appearance as he smiled. Wooyoung had never before realised quite how weak he was for dimples and it was the most inconvenient time to discover that fact.

"Isn't it?" a familiar voice cut in as a hand slammed down on the table between them and prevented San from pushing the tray any closer. “That’s just what someone who was trying to ply him with poisonous food to kill him for a years long grudge  _ would  _ say.” 

"Oh, it's  _ you _ " San's smile dropped as he looked up into Jongho's intimidatingly blank stare. "Do you mind? I'm trying to feed Wooyoung before he starves to death waiting for all of you"

"Well I'm here now, so you can go" Jongho retorted, shoving the tray back towards San in dismissal. “C’mon Woo, let’s get something el-” 

"I was here  _ first _ ." San shot back, shoving the tray back towards Wooyoung. "And I went to a lot of effort to get the house elves to tell me what food-” 

"Is 'a lot of effort' the new term for threatening and/or cursing them into it?" Jongho replied archly, shoving the tray back at San once again. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to poison his Pumpkin Juice? I only ask because I’m not well versed in these kinds of things given that I’m not evil incarnate.”

"I asked  _ nicely  _ actually, with just the right amount of charm. Something you clearly wouldn’t understand," San's voice was prim. "And I don’t know why you keep whining about poison either. I’d never poison Wooyoungie!” San exclaimed, outraged. 

“Sounds fake but okay.” Jongho drawled with a shrug. Ignoring him, San snatched up his chopsticks. Deftly selecting and picking up a piece of tteokbokki before turning to offer it to Wooyoung.

“How about this?” he asked, hopefully. 

"The tteokbokki? You poisoned the TTEOKBOKKI!? That’s low, even for you” Jongho gasped. 

"You little-"

"STOP RIGHT THERE EVIL SPAWN AND PUT DOWN THE TTEOKBOKKI OF DEATH" a familiar voice screeched and Wooyoung looked up to see Yeosang standing there, panting heavily having clearly just run all the way there.  _ He really did sweat for me, Yeosang hates physical exercise in any form. I’m touched yet also terrified at what it means.  _

Seconds later, as Yeosang was still catching his breath, Seonghwa appeared out of thin air next to him. 

"Clinging to my arm like a  _ leech _ . Next time I’ll use the finger-removing jinx on him, I swear I will. See if he can pull this shit when he’s got none left!” Seonghwa was muttering darkly, no doubt about Hongjoong. “And who could blame me?! No-one! No-one wants some midget sized Slytherin hanging off them, preventing them from getting to their Wooyoungie-” he descended into angry mumbling. 

"Not only did you make me run you  _ asshole,  _ but you're sitting there in broad daylight trying to poison Wooyoungie right in front of my fucking salad-"

"But you don't have a salad Yeosang, you just got here" Seonghwa frowned in confusion.

“It’s a muggle thing hyung, you sweet summer child.” Jongho answered, not moving an inch. 

“Oh? One of those ‘meh meh’ things?” 

“.....close enough” Jongho sighed. 

"-with that menacing looking, blatantly poisoned tteokbokki you keep waving about" Yeosang finished. 

"Yeo...thingamajig.  _ So  _ glad you could join us" San drawled sarcastically.

"How can a tteokbokki be  _ menacing.  _ It's a  _ rice cake _ " Jongho muttered. “With  _ sauce _ ”

"It's YeoSANG! My name is YEOSANG," he hissed before turning to Jongho. "It's an evil rice cake Jongho,  _ evil. _ "

"Whatever. I'm not trying to poison him-" San turned from Wooyoung's friends, proffering the piece of tteokbokki once again.

"WOOYOUNG DON'T YOU DARE! DON’T EAT IT! DON'T SNIFF IT! DON’T EVEN LOOK AT IT! Who knows what kind of fucked up poisons he's got access to" Yeosang muttered darkly as he stalked forward. Once he was close enough, he slapped the chopsticks from San’s hand and snatched up the tray. Inspecting each dish closely as if he’d be able to spot anything nefarious by sight alone, and paying particular attention to the tteokbokki. 

"What the  _ fuck  _ is your problem?” San asked, brow arched in question. “It’s  _ lunch _ , I'm just trying to get him to eat something. He’s probably starving waiting for you idiots.” 

" _ That  _ is my problem, demon spawn. You're well known to be an evil Slytherin who likes to fuck with people and I think we all know your petty ass is holding a grudge against Wooyoung from back in the day. But all of a sudden you show an interest in Wooyoung and you keep trying to give him things, or coffee and now food. You keep trying to be  _ nice _ which, by the way, we all know is pretty much impossible for you. Case in point you just called us idiots, uncalled for and blatantly false-” 

“Is it? I’m not the one convinced that someone’s trying to murder him in broad daylight in the middle of the dining hall with tteokbokki of all things.” San grumbled. 

“The only logical conclusion to draw is that you’re trying to get revenge on him. To poison him for humiliating you all that time ago because you’re a petty bitch that holds a grudge until the end of time.” Yeosang finished triumphantly, discarding the tray on the table having finished his inspection. 

“Oh yes, that’s the  _ logical  _ conclusion” San muttered, rolling his eyes. 

“Well?” Jongho asked Yeosang. “Did you find anything?” he couldn’t quite hide the amusement in his voice. Yeosang drew himself up importantly. 

“I can’t be sure without further analysis but….that tteokbokki is suspicious, I don’t like it.” Yeosang announced. “And the ramyeon is  _ soggy. _ ”

“Not the ramyeon!” Jongho gasped, dramatically. 

“For Merlin’s sake” San groaned. 

Wooyoung shifted uncomfortably as he watched the scene unfold, until he felt Seonghwa’s comforting presence on his other side as the Ravenclaw sank into the seat next to him. Wrapping his arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. 

"Are you okay Wooyoungie?" Seonghwa asked softly. "He didn't...do anything to you before we got here did he?"

"Anything...evil?" Yeosang added.

"Or potentially life threatening?" Jongho chipped in.

"He...um..he sat down and then…” 

“And then?” Yeosang repeated, encouragingly. 

“And then….he...he gave me food." Wooyoung answered. Yeosang let out a triumphant squawk and slapped the table. 

"I knew it! It’s poison." Yeosang crowed. 

“How the fuck did you draw that conclusion?” San asked, exasperated. “Why the fuck would I even try and poison him in the first place!?” Yeosang sighed. 

“Because you’re  _ you,  _ and Wooyoung did the Lord’s work and humiliated you like you so rightfully deserved for being a bullying, arrogant, elitist asshole with a superiority complex. And  _ then  _ you started showing a sudden and unusual interest in him, we went over this literally two minutes ago. What’s not clicking for you?” 

“Do you really think that I’d try to poison him in a room full of witnesses?” 

“Look, I can’t be expected to know or understand what goes on in the mind of pure evil.” Yeosang replied with a shudder. San, meanwhile, looked to be fighting to retain some sliver of patience. 

"That's all in the past now. I'm not trying to do anything to him, I just want to be friends-"

"And I'm Harry Potter." Yeosang snorted.

"I warned you" Seonghwa practically snarled, using the arm that wasn't around Wooyoung to reach past him and latch on to San's shirt front, hauling him closer. "I explicitly told you  _ this _ morning to stay away from Wooyoung. I gave you a chance, but here you are-"

"I  _ told  _ you I just want to make a new friend!" San protested.

"And I told  _ you  _ to cut the shit. I asked you nicely and you didn't listen. I don’t know what exactly you’re up to, but I know you’re up to something that’s going to hurt Wooyoung. So now I'm not asking nicely." Seonghwa roughly released his grip on San and pulled out his wand.

"Hyung's going feral" Jongho whispered in awe.

"Seonghwa hyung don't!" Wooyoung exclaimed, gripping Seonghwa’s wrist. “You’ll get into trouble if you do anything” 

"Yeah hyung, and he's not worth it" Yeosang chimed in before turning to the Slytherin. "Play time’s over, get lost San. Go and find someone else to fuck with, I think we’ve made it more than clear we won’t let it be Wooyoung.” 

"I'm not fucking with him-" San started to protest but he was cut off by Yeosang letting out an obnoxiously loud, short laugh that was completely devoid of humour.

"You're not? You only show an interest in those of 'lesser blood' when you want to make their lives a misery. You know it, I know it, everyone in this room knows it. Sorry Choi, but you're not doing it to Wooyoung."

"If you make his smile dim even the tiniest amount or if you so much as make him even  _ think  _ about being a little bit sad...I will Crucio you into the next century.” Seonghwa spat. 

"Hyung!" Wooyoung gasped, eyes wide.

"I wasn't fucking around this morning Choi.  _ Whatever  _ it takes." Seonghwa's glare was chilling even to Wooyoung. "Now  _ go,  _ before I really lose my temper."

“ _ That’s  _ you  _ not  _ losing your temper?!” Jongho whispered. 

"And tell the tree that next time he tries to impede me in my duties as leader of the Wooyoung Protection Squad, I'll throw something worse at him. Something that'll burn his face off Raiders of the Lost Ark style...but with less shitty CGI" Yeosang added.

"Hyung, that's an old muggle movie from the 80's and he's a  _ pureblood _ ...why would he possibly get that reference? Just look at Seonghwa hyung" Jongho pointed out.

"Don't worry hyung, we'll get to that part of your muggle education  _ very  _ soon, we just need to get Jaws out of the way first." Yeosang commented, noting the slightly baffled look in Seonghwa's eyes. Then he turned back to San. "You, on the other hand, don't deserve to know the beauty that is shitty 80's CGI." he sniffed.

"Then why  _ say  _ it?" Jongho asked, exasperated.

"For effect."

"But he doesn't know what it  _ is _ " Jongho stressed.

"That makes it more terrifying. Fear of the unknown...and whatever his imagination can conjure up. Be afraid Treebeard. Be  _ very  _ afraid" Yeosang practically cackled. 

"No it doesn-"

"Let him have it so we can move on with our lives" Seonghwa muttered.

"Whatever. I give up" Jongho sighed. Wooyoung flicked his gaze over to San, who was still seated, watching as the other boy's eyes drifted between his two friends. His expression was unreadable, though Wooyoung thought he saw his lip twitch and he doubted very much that the boy was trying not to laugh.  _ More like trying not to sneer no doubt.  _

"Why the fuck are you still here?" Yeosang spat at San, who’s jaw clenched in response. Silence reigned for a few, tense moments. 

"I'll see you later Wooyoungie'' San finally said, with what Wooyoung could see was a clearly forced smile. 

"No, you won't." Seonghwa practically growled while Yeosang bristled at the Slytherin’s words. 

“It’s WooYOUNG to you! WOOYOUNG. THERE IS NO IE FOR YOU SPAWN OF SATAN” Yeosang yelled, furiously. But San ignored the both of them, finally getting to his feet. With one last small, tight smile at Wooyoung, San started to stride away from their table. 

“Remember, I warned you!” Seonghwa called after him. 

"It's okay hyung, relax" Wooyoung murmured, pressing closer to him. “I think you all scared him off” 

“It was the Raiders of the Lost Ark reference that did it, I know it. No need to thank me” Yeosang preened. 

“Sure hyung, it was totally the reference to the old muggle movie that he’s never even heard of before, let alone seen that terrified him and not Seonghwa hyung whipping his wand out ready to curse him into oblivion.” Jongho responded, dryly. 

"If he even  _ thinks  _ about doing anything to you...I swear I'm going to curse him. I really will this time." Seonghwa muttered, hugging Wooyoung tightly. 

"I really don't like this." Yeosang murmured, suddenly serious. 

"He never goes this far to mess with someone" Jongho added in agreement.

"He even roped his friend in to help this is..."

"Really fucking weird?" Jongho tried.

"We passed weird days ago, this is just plain disturbing now" Yeosang corrected.

"Mingi isn't the only friend he roped in to help either" Seonghwa chimed in. "When I went to apparate that gremlin Hongjoong stopped me."

"He's like...half your height hyung, how the hell did he stop you?!" Jongho snickered.

"He's not  _ that  _ short," Seonghwa conceded grudgingly. "But he grabbed my arm and was  _ clinging  _ to it and I couldn't shake him off. He’s surprisingly strong-” 

“Or just really determined to cop a feel of your bicep” Yeosang snickered. 

“-and if that wasn't bad enough he started trying to talk to me about complete nonsense-"

"You mean he tried to flirt with you,  _ again _ ?" Jongho smirked.

"Oh Seonghwa, the stars in your eyes shine so brightly" Yeosang cooed, dodging away as Seonghwa swatted at him.

"No, no, wasn't it something like 'Seonghwa, there's an entire galaxy shining in your eyes’ or something?" Jongho added, the pair of them laughing like hyenas. 

"I hate it here." Seonghwa mumbled with a pout, as Wooyoung patted his back comfortingly. "My point  _ is _ , he's escalating. He roped in not one but two of his friends to try and help him do...whatever it is he's trying to do. Now it's not just coffee, he's trying to buy Wooyoung lunch and eat with him-"

"It's not right" Yeosang cut him off. 

"Maybe...maybe he really does just want to be friends Sangie?" Wooyoung's voice was hesitant. 

He became more and more confused at every interaction with San. In his mind he knew the other boy wasn't exactly  _ nice,  _ he knew that his friends' concerns were justified and he was concerned himself because the situation  _ was  _ odd but...San had come to sit with him and brought him food. His favourite food no less, and...surely he’d have heard by now if San had done something to the house elves which means they  _ must  _ have helped him willingly. That he must have really just asked them, San could be quite charming when he wanted to be. For the right people...meaning those he deemed to be ‘good enough’ because of their blood status or those he needed something from, but still. He’d done all of that because he wanted to...to take care of him? And he kept insisting that everything was in the past and he just wanted to make friends. 

_ Maybe I’m being naive. Maybe I’m being foolish but...what if he’s telling the truth? What if he has changed? I could see that he was getting irritated at Jongho, Yeosang and Seonghwa hyung, he didn’t like their comments and they were making him really mad but...he didn’t do anything. He didn’t lash out like I’d expected knowing his reputation, he didn’t say anything nasty. He wasn’t exactly nice but he wasn’t an asshole either, and he didn’t try and hurt them or even reach for his wand...the old San probably would have duelled them right here in the dining hall. He wouldn’t have let them speak to him that way. I don’t know what to think anymore.  _

"If friendship involves one friend murdering the other because his petty ass has been holding onto a grudge for years and plotting their demise, then yeah Woo. He wants to be friends with you" Yeosang drawled. 

"He was nice until you all showed up and got defensive." Wooyoung pointed out, quietly. 

"Well  _ excuse  _ us for trying to protect you! If you want to die by poisoned tteokbokki then you do you Woo" Yeosang held his hands up in surrender. 

"That's just how he lures you in hyung. He's nice now, flashing his dimples everywhere to make you think he’s harmless and to lull you into a false sense of security because what could possibly be threatening about dimples?” Jongho paused, leaning in. “But then when you let your guard down BAM.” Jongho slapped his hands together, making Wooyoung and the others jump at the sudden volume. “Avada Kedavara." 

“No, I don’t think so.” Yeosang argued once he’d regained his composure. “It’s too quick, too clean. He seems the type to make people suffer, don’t you think? He’d Crucio him for at least an hour or two and because making people suffer is the only thing that brings him joy, I bet he’d be smiling that evil, dimpled smile the entire time and  _ then  _ he’d finally kill him.” 

“But...his dimples are kind of...cute…” Wooyoung whispered. 

“NO WOOYOUNG” Yeosang whisper-yelled. “They’re not  _ cute.  _ They’re an evil invention designed to make someone evil and psychotic look harmless and adorable. Remember Wooyoung, they’re dimples of evil.” Yeosang finished, darkly. 

“Wait, I thought you said that San wanted to poison him?” Seonghwa pointed out. 

“That was just plan A, hyung. There are multiple ways that he can make Wooyoung suffer and we have to be prepared for all of them!” Yeosang replied. 

Wooyoung tuned out his friends bickering. He had no desire whatsoever to listen to them argue over how someone was potentially going to kill him as horrifically as possible to cause the most amount of pain and suffering. Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t exactly entertaining for him. As their arguing faded into the background, Wooyoung found his gaze straying towards the direction that San had left in. 

_ I’ll see you later Wooyoungie.  _

He shivered involuntarily as the words echoed back to him. 

_ Even after Yeosang had been so rude to him, and Seonghwa was so hostile...he still tried to smile at me. It was forced, I could see that. And I could also see that he was furious at the way they were speaking to him, and how they were treating him. He was clenching his fists so hard his knuckles were white but...he’d still been nice to me. He had been the entire time he was with me.  _

Wooyoung couldn’t help but remember San leaning far too close to him in class...and the words he’d whispered to him.  _ It’s pretty...like you.  _

Wooyoung had never had anyone show such an interest in him before. Never had someone be so determined to spend time with him, to even just try to  _ talk _ to him. He was usually overlooked. Fading into the background and not even noticed. At least, not in  _ that  _ way. Sure, everyone knew him. He was Wooyoung. Always happy, always friendly and ready with a smile...always the embodiment of living sunshine. That was always how everyone described him, as being like sunshine. But when he was together with his friends he didn’t shine quite so much. He didn’t catch anyone’s attention. 

He couldn’t blame anyone, his friends were unfairly good looking and he was just...Wooyoung. Seonghwa and Yeosang were both just...beautiful. Perfect. Yeosang with his delicate, fairy-like features and Seonghwa with his ridiculously pretty eyes. Then there was Jongho. His strength always made him stand out, as did his impressive build that got him more than enough attention with people always wanting to touch his biceps or get a look at his abs. Even though he usually looked quite stoic, people still cooed over him. 

Wooyoung was just...Wooyoung. Good old, sunshine-y Wooyoung. Everyone knew him and everyone loved him...but no-one thought he was pretty. No-one was falling all over themselves to flirt with him or ask him out. Or at least, not unless they were using him to try and get to Seonghwa or Yeosang, mostly. Which usually resulted in the culprit pretty much regretting they’d ever been born when his friends found out. 

He just couldn’t compare to his friends, and it wasn’t their fault. He didn’t blame them one bit, how could he? He loved his friends so much and it wasn’t their fault that he looked like he did and they looked like they did. It’s just how it was but...it still hurt. It hurt every time he was the only one of them with no Valentines day chocolates or cards from some secret admirer except for the ones they’d sent him so that he wouldn’t feel left out, which he loved them for even more. It hurt every time someone practically shoved him out of the way to get to the others or struck up a conversation with him only to try and get close to the others, to get Wooyoung’s help with them. 

He’d wished so many times that just once someone could see him. That someone would think he was cute or pretty or would take even a tiny little bit of interest in him. Just once….and then someone had. San had. San thought that he was  _ pretty.  _ He’d said so himself. And San was willing to put up with  _ a lot  _ just to try and talk to him. Yeosang’s rudeness, Jongho’s elbows and Seonghwa’s icy glares. He’d put up with it all and kept coming back for more just to get Wooyoung to talk to him. He’d come over to sit with him and brought him food so that he wouldn’t be alone, because he was worried that he was hungry. 

Someone had  _ finally _ noticed him, just like he’d always wished but….that someone was also Choi San. 

* * *

San stalked away from the dining hall, heading straight towards the dorms and in no mood to meet with his friends. Not after yet  _ another  _ humiliation at the hands of that half-blood and his friends. Instead, he wanted nothing more than to retreat to his dorm room and sulk in peace before Yunho returned from lunch with the others and started prodding him about it. Asking questions that he was in no mood to answer and rubbing his humiliation in even more.  _ Teasing  _ him, as if his very reputation wasn’t at stake here. It was a matter of time before they heard about it, after all. Maybe they wouldn’t hear the exact details, but it would have been clear to anyone watching that San hadn’t exactly been welcomed at their table before he’d made his exit, and the other students wouldn’t have been able to miss Yeosang’s obnoxiously loud yelling. The scene would quickly make its way towards his friends and then he’d have to deal with them interrogating him and fielding their jokes. 

_ At least today wasn’t a total loss, despite everything.  _ He tried to reassure himself. 

On the one hand, he had scored a slight victory. He’d managed to make the Hufflepuff blush and in the process confirm that he was at least  _ slightly  _ attracted to him. But on the other, he’d also completely failed  _ twice  _ in one day to get the half-blood to talk to him properly. San had really thought that lunch was his best shot at making some headway with him. There would be plenty of people around and Wooyoung’s friends would be less likely to make a scene in light of that, or at least he hoped. He’d been prepared to have to find some way to handle them, but then he’d spotted Wooyoung approaching the dining hall all by himself, without a single friend in sight and San had genuinely thought that his luck had finally turned around. He’d thought that all the patience he’d shown recently had finally paid off because he’d be able to approach Wooyoung without his little protection detail getting in the way. Without trying to figure out how to subtly hex them without Wooyoung finding out, in order to get past them. 

But Wooyoung had still been wary.  _ Even though I lowered myself to charming those damn house elves into telling me what food he likes. Even though I brought him lunch and made myself sit right next to him and fuss over him. Even though I called him pretty and he blushed such an interesting shade of pink.  _

San had persevered nonetheless; pushing the food towards him, encouraging him to eat and trying to be as friendly as possible to the half-blood. And just when it seemed like his dimples had  _ finally  _ worked their magic, making him look as harmless as possible, and everything was about to fall into place...that mud-blood had shown up and ruined everything. Closely followed by the other two sidekicks who’d quickly proven that he’d been wrong in his assessment about them causing a scene. Yeosang’s shouting hadn’t lasted long but it had definitely caught the attention of everyone close by, though the noise of the busy room had masked the scene from most. Those who had caught sight of the group wouldn’t have failed to notice the tension emanating from them. Seonghwa in particular. 

San couldn’t believe they’d had the nerve to speak to him in such a way, let alone actually pull a wand on him. He didn’t think he, nor anyone else, had ever seen the Ravenclaw act that way before. Unlike Yeosang’s irritating yelling, Seonghwa had merely settled for growling and snarling at him like an overprotective mother wolf. If Wooyoung hadn’t been sitting right there, San would have quite gladly duelled Seonghwa without mercy and tossed a hex or two at Yeosang and Jongho that would make them regret ever daring to disrespect him. But the Hufflepuff had been sitting right there, looking highly uncomfortable at the entire situation and San was  _ trying  _ to put him at ease. To show him that he wasn’t as bad as the rumours suggest, that he’d  _ changed  _ so that maybe he’d let his guard down a little and give San an opening at last. If it wasn’t for that, Seonghwa would have been on the ground screaming in pain courtesy of the very curse he’d decided to throw around as a threat. 

_ Fuck Hongjoong and his weird obsession with him. I don’t care. No-one threatens me. Least of all some uptight Ravenclaw that’s lowered himself to consorting with those of lesser blood. Does he really think he can threaten me with a curse that he and I both know he doesn’t have the balls to use? Don’t start something you can’t finish, Park.  _

As for the other two, if it weren’t for Wooyoung’s presence he wouldn’t have hesitated to finally do something about them either. He knew a hex or two that would have them laid up in the infirmary long enough for him to make some decent progress with Wooyoung. But the Hufflepuff would have known it was him if he’d tried anything and he couldn’t risk it. 

So instead of giving into his rage at their behaviour, at the way they’d dared to speak to him...to mock him. Instead of reacting as he so badly wanted to, as he normally would have done and teaching them a lesson they’d never forget...San had reigned it all in with considerable effort. He hadn’t even allowed himself to sneer when they’d started bickering about their muggle nonsense, and the urge had been there. He’d just let them get away with it all, all because he needed Wooyoung to see a different side of him. A friendly, kind,  _ changed  _ side that he’d already laid the groundwork for and couldn’t afford to mess up. Not when he was already struggling to make any progress as it was. A fact that rubbed him the wrong way every single time he considered it.  _ This had better be worth it in the end. I want to see him break. I want to see the tears falling down his face and the look in his eye when he realises that it was all a lie. When he realises that it was just a game, a small amusement.  _

So San had forced a smile for Wooyoung and he’d walked away even though it had gone against every instinct in him. Seonghwa’s words ringing in his ears and his fists clenched so hard he’d feared his nails would rip the skin open on his palms. 

_ Park Seonghwa is getting on my last nerve. He’s always there, always lurking nearby and getting in my way. He’s ridiculously overprotective of his precious little half-blood, why? He’s always clinging on to him, touching his hair or his arm, hugging him and stroking his back, all in public. He has no dignity as a pureblood. It’s an embarrassment to us all. He even had the audacity to threaten me multiple times over him and he was so very close to losing his shit in the dining hall. Who knew that composure of his could crack, and all it took was one little half-blood. He was ready to use an unforgivable curse on me right there, in front of so many witnesses, all for him.  _

_ His friends might not have realised because they evidently think he’s some sort of Saint. Saint fucking Seonghwa. But I saw the look in his eye. He was serious about cursing me. He really would do it, for Wooyoung. But why? Why is he so attached to him? What’s so special about him? Why does he give such a damn about some half-blood? He’s becoming more of a problem than I thought he’d be-no. Wait. He couldn’t be...could he?  _

** _Two Snakes and a Gryfflepuff_ **

**Joong: ** I've said it before and I'll say it again, this chat name's really fucking lame

**Yunho: ** That's not important right now hyung

**Mingi: ** Yeah hyung, focus! 

**Joong: ** On what?! 

**Yunho: ** On the fact that San just got humiliated in the dining hall by a half-blood 

**Mingi: ** Again 

**Yunho: ** And he struck out 

**Mingi: ** A G A I N 

**Yunho: ** Or so my sources say 

**Joong: ** ...why do you keep bribing the university ghosts when you could just threaten a mud-blood?

**Yunho: ** It's more fun this way 

**Joong: ** HOW?! 

**Joong: ** They’re so creepy 

**San: ** I know why I struck out

**Mingi: ** Speak of the devil 

**Yunho: ** And here I thought you'd be in denial Sannie 

**Joong: ** Do tell

**Joong: ** I can’t wait to see what BS you’ve come up with to make yourself feel better 

**San: ** He's dating Seonghwa. 

**Joong: ** I take it back

**Joong: ** I don’t want to know 

**San: ** I’m serious

**San: ** Seonghwa’s his boyfriend. He has to be. 

**Yunho: ** Why? Because if he's immune to you then he has to have a boyfriend already? 

**Mingi: ** Do you need some Deep Heat for that stretch Sannie? 

**Joong: ** Seonghwa would never! 

**Joong: ** I know you’re frustrated San but there’s no need for slander 

**San: ** Seonghwa was this close to scratching my eyes out and throwing a curse at me

**San: ** and not just any curse

**Mingi: ** ?????

**San: ** Your boy was ready to crucio me right there in the dining hall and trust me...he would have

**Joong: ** I think that's the hottest thing he's ever done.

**Joong: ** I’m visualising it and...ooft. 

**Mingi: ** Ew 

**San: ** All for that little half-blood 

**Joong: ** Suddenly it’s not so hot. 

**San: ** He's so protective of that Hufflepuff.

**San: ** I've never seen him act that way before

**San: ** He doesn't even get that angry when you're bothering him hyung 

**Joong: ** I do NOT bother him I-

**Mingi: ** No, he just looks at Hongjoong hyung with that icy gaze and is all '….get away from me'

**Yunho: ** Or 'don't touch me or I’ll report you for harassment'

**Mingi: ** Or 'stop following me you creep'

**Yunho: ** Don't forget the time he asked hyung to 'stop sniffing me you elitist freak'

**Mingi: ** Personally, I love it when he gets slightly more annoyed than usual and straight up tells him to ‘fuck off gremlin’ 

**Yunho: ** Think it kind of depends on his mood 

**Yunho: ** Sometimes he just glares, sometimes he snaps at him and sometimes he curses him out and calls him a stalker. 

**Mingi: ** Where’s the lie though? 

**Joong: ** EXCUSE ME ALLEGED FRIENDS

**San: ** And you're really out here calling him a 'pure angel' hyung.

**San: ** Make it make sense.

**Joong: ** Look we all have bad days

**Yunho: ** He literally shouted 'please for the love of Merlin, stop stalking me everywhere like some kind of creepy serial killer and fuck off!’ 

**Joong: ** …..that was one time.

**Joong: ** I think he was stressed because of exams

**Joong: ** Which is valid. 

**Mingi: ** Or maybe it was because you keep following him around like a little lost puppy...but creepier 

**Yunho: ** I think it’s the staring that makes it creepy, personally 

**San: ** Fairly sure it’s the stalking that makes it creepy but okay 

**Mingi: ** Nothing’s creepier than that one time hyung literally whispered ‘I’d die for you’ to him because Seonghwa smiled at the kitten he was playing with. 

**Joong: ** How is that creepy?! I just happened to stumble upon the scene 

**Joong: ** And...I was talking to the kitten! 

**Joong: ** It was so smol and...cute 

**Joong: ** Must protecc

**Yunho: ** You were literally hiding in a bush hyung 

**Joong: ** 1) you don’t need to expose me like that

**Joong: **2) I was not INSIDE the bush, I was behind it actually. 

**Mingi: ** Lurking 

**Joong: ** THERE WAS NO LURKING 

**Joong: ** I WAS ADMIRING THE BUSH OKAY 

**Joong: ** SUPER LEAFY 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND 

**Yunho: ** Sure hyung, whatever you say 

**Joong: ** My love and adoration for Park Seonghwa isn't the issue here

**San: ** For once.

**Joong: ** Shut it

**Joong: ** Seonghwa isn't dating Wooyoung. There’s no way. I would know if he was

**Joong: ** He'd never lower himself that far

**Yunho: ** Points were made

**Yunho: ** You ARE his personal stalker, as we just established 

**Mingi: ** If Seonghwa were dating someone, he’d know it I guess 

**Yunho: ** And so would we because he wouldn’t shut up about it. 

**Mingi: ** He did lower himself to being friends with them though

**Mingi: ** It’s not too much of a leap to think he might actually date one of them 

**Joong: ** THEY'RE NOT DATING 

**Joong: ** PARK SEONGHWA IS SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE GODDAMMIT

**Mingi: ** Whatever helps you sleep at night hyung

**Yunho: ** The stalker has spoken

**Yunho: ** Leave him be before he has a mental breakdown and we have to spend the night listening to him whining about Seonghwa and how pretty his eyes are and how his lips are just SO perfectly shaped and OMG his thighs! All while he cries into his Butterbeer

**Joong: ** I am your HYUNG 

**Yunho: ** And? 

**Joong: ** RESPECT ME FFS 

**San: ** I don't get it then

**San: ** Why does he care so much about the half-blood if they aren't dating?

**Yunho: ** Maybe he's just a really protective hyung 

**Mingi: ** Not that we'd know anything about that

**Mingi: ** Hongjoong hyung practically shoved me down the stairs in his rush to get his precious coffee

**Joong: ** You were moving too slow and you know I get cranky without my caffeine 

**Joong: ** I need it to LIVE 

**Mingi: ** I could have broken my NECK

**Joong: ** But you didn’t 

**Yunho: ** Seonghwa would never

**Yunho: ** He'd probably break Hongjoong hyung's legs if he did that to any of his little filthy blooded friends

**Yunho: ** And hyung wonders why Seonghwa wants nothing to do with him.

**Mingi: ** It'd be nice to have a hyung like Seonghwa

**Mingi: ** Maybe it'd even be worth spending time with mud-bloods 

**Yunho: ** I highly doubt that 

**San: ** Did the lobalug venom burn away your last brain cell? 

**Mingi: ** JOONG SAID IT WAS HARMLESS 

**Yunho: ** It is baby, relax 

**Joong: ** As soon as I get him to date me, he'll be your hyung and you can find out Mingi 

**Mingi: ** I really don't want to wait until hell freezes over

**Joong: ** He's warming up to me

**Joong: ** I can tell.

**San: ** He literally called you a midget earlier

**Joong: ** See! That’s better than gremlin, right? 

**Yunho: ** Sure hyung

**San: ** And a leech

**San: ** And threatened to use the finger-removing jinx on you 

**Joong: ** Eye-

**Yunho: ** F in the chat for Joong 

**San: ** F 

**Mingi: ** F

**Joong: ** He’s never threatened me before 

**Joong: ** Not that violently anyway

**Joong: ** Which is not only hot AF 

**Mingi: ** I repeat, EW 

**Joong: ** But it’s progress right? I’m getting under his skin 

**Yunho: ** And on his last nerve by the sounds of it 

**Joong: ** Think about it, if he got that worked up...he has to care about me a little bit! 

**Joong: ** Usually he’s just emotionless, or cold

**Yunho: ** Or occasionally really fucking irritated. 

**Joong: ** But this time I really got to him! 

**Joong: ** It’s happening 

**Joong: ** I think he’s starting to realise his feelings for me 

**Yunho: ** WHAT feelings?! 

**Mingi: ** I wonder what it’s like in Joong land? 

**Yunho: **It sounds like a magical place full of dreams

**Mingi: **Where the impossible becomes possible 

**Joong: ** Shut up, look he wouldn’t have reacted like that if he didn’t care! 

**Joong: ** I’m making him feel things 

**Yunho: ** Yeah, loss of patience and murderous rage 

**Yunho: ** Congrats 

**San: ** Oh he cares hyung 

**Joong: ** See! 

**San: ** About Wooyoung 

**San: ** He threatened that because you got between them 

**San: ** Which reminds me

**San: ** Mingi, your new friend Yeosang said to tell you that if you ever get in his way again blah blah blah 

**San: ** Then he's going to throw something worse over you that will 'burn your face off Raiders of the Lost Ark style but with less shitty CGI'

**Mingi: ** WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?

**Mingi: ** WHAT'S A CGI?! 

**Mingi: ** NO WAIT, WHAT’S A LOST ARK AND WHY ARE THEY RAIDING IT?! 

**Mingi: ** Yunnie I'm scared

**Mingi: ** I don't like it when he starts threatening in tongues

**Yunho: ** Don't worry baby, I'd never let that nasty half-blood hurt you

**Joong: ** He's just speaking muggle Mingi, relax

**Joong: ** It's a movie, I think.

**Joong: ** And CGI is a movie term

**Yunho: ** You know hyung you know an awful lot about muggles these days...

**San: ** Probably because Seonghwa's little friends are teaching him all about muggle things

**San: ** He's a pure-blood, why the fuck does he want to know about any of that shit?

**San: ** It's not like he's going to have to live among them

**Mingi: ** So what you’re saying is...Joong hyung's been secretly educating himself about muggles because of Seonghwa?

**Yunho: ** Disappointed but not surprised

**Mingi: ** They got him 

**Mingi: ** RIP hyung, you’ll always be in our hearts 

**Joong: ** Don’t be so overdramatic 

**Joong: ** They haven’t ‘got me’ 

**Joong: ** I've just been…researching things that I've heard him mention before with his friends

**Joong: ** To get to know him better

**Mingi: ** Sickening

**Joong: ** At least I'm not afraid of random letters

**Mingi: ** I am NOT 

**Joong: ** I heard you shriek when you read out CGI

**Mingi: ** STOP SAYING IT

**Mingi: ** IT SOUNDS MENACING

**Mingi: ** YUNNIIIIIIE

**Yunho: ** Please stop distressing my boyfriend 

**Joong: ** I thought you liked it when he clings to you? 

**Yunho: ** Yeah, but I still have to SAY it 

**Yunho: ** Boyfriend duties 

**Joong: ** Don’t rub it in 

**San: ** Can we get back to my problem?

**San: ** I barely got to talk to the Hufflepuff today.

**San: ** And Seonghwa and his other demonic friend keep getting in my way

**Yunho: ** Really, hyung should be distracting them

**Mingi: ** I'm surprised he hasn't already, it's the perfect opportunity for him to irritate Seonghwa up close 

**Joong: ** I TRIED, I tried to stop him apparating earlier but he just kicked me in the shin and cussed me out 

**Yunho: ** Ah, young love

**Mingi: ** Not so easy is it!?

**Mingi: ** All of that half-blood's friends are vicious monsters SEE

**Joong: ** Seonghwa isn't a monster

**Joong: ** He's a beautiful, angelic-

**San: ** We don't have time for a ten page essay on how pretty you think he is

**San: ** I'm wasting time here and I’m running out of patience 

**San:** I can't even hex any of their asses because then I'll ruin any chance I have with Wooyoung 

**Yunho: ** It's so cute that you think you have a chance in the first place Sannie 

**Mingi: ** King of self confidence 

**San: ** Come on guys, this has got to be boring for you right?

**Yunho: ** Nope

**Mingi: ** Not really

**Joong: ** No

**San: ** Traitors

**San: ** Look, the game's only fun for us once it really gets started

**San: ** Once I start to play with their emotions and their feelings

**San: ** Once I get them to fall at my feet and do anything I want

**San: ** And then when I tear the illusion away from them and break them completely 

**San: ** You might find this amusing now but what happens when I'm still being threatened by Seonghwa and kept away from Wooyoung in another week or so? 

**San: ** Will it still be so entertaining to you then? 

**Mingi: ** He does have a point

**Yunho: ** Babe, that's the kind of thinking that got you covered in lobalug venom

**Mingi: ** Too soon

**San: ** I never ask for help during these games

**San: ** You know what this is costing me

**San: ** But I'm tired of being humiliated and it's time for the real game to begin, don’t you think? 

**San: ** I just need someone to help me

**Mingi: ** Last time I took pity on you out of the kindness of my heart I got potion ingredients dumped on me and my favourite shirt ruined

**Mingi: ** People still snicker at me instead of looking at me in awe as they should

**Mingi: ** My reputation is ruined

**San: ** Welcome to the club, you ain't special

**Mingi: ** I hate you, I hope Seonghwa hyung makes you bald

**Joong: ** Hyung!?

**Mingi: ** Yes, H Y U N G 

**Mingi: ** I've decided I want him to adopt me, I hate it here.

**Yunho: ** Eye-

**Mingi: ** Not you Yunnie 

**Mingi: ** I love you big bear 

**Joong: ** Disgusting. 

**San: ** If you help me, you can change all that Mingi

**San: ** and messing with some half-bloods will make you feel better

**Mingi: ** You have a point….again 

**Mingi: ** But considering I can still smell that fucking venom

**Mingi: ** I'll pass

**San: ** Fine.

**San: ** Yunho? Hyung?

**Yunho: ** Nah, I'm not gonna help you ruin his year

**San: ** You literally initiated all of this tf you mean you don't want to ruin his year!?

**Yunho: ** Joong hyung's technically the one that picked him

**San: ** You all agreed!

**Yunho: ** What of it?

**San: ** ….you all picked him just to watch me suffer didn't you?

**San: ** It's really your own friends.

**Yunho: ** False

**Yunho: ** Mingi and I picked him to watch you suffer

**Yunho: ** Because he's human sunshine, a Hufflepuff and a half-blood

**Yunho: ** Three things that you hate

**Yunho: ** The overprotective friends making it impossible for you to even breathe near him was an unforeseen bonus

**Mingi: ** Yeah, Joong hyung just picked him cause of Seonghwa hyung

**Yunho: ** How's that working out for you hyung?

**Joong: ** Today I got to cuddle his arm when I tried to stop him from getting to the dining hall 

**Joong: ** I could feel how firm his bicep was 

**Joong: ** So who's the real winner here?

**Mingi: ** Still not you

**Joong: ** Yeah well, at least I'm making more progress than San.

**Yunho: ** Are you though? 

**Mingi: ** At least San made Wooyoung blush 

**Mingi: ** What have you done hyung? 

**Yunho: ** He’s made him incandescently furious with rage to the point he’s threatened to literally remove his fingers to stop him from touching him ever again all while calling him a leech 

**Joong: ** Fuck you both 

** _Hiss Hiss Bitch_ **

**Joong: ** Hello demon child

**Joong: ** It is I

**Joong: ** Your faithful hyung

**Joong: ** I come bearing wisdom and-

**San: ** If you have a point can you get to it?

**San: ** I'm not in the mood

**Joong: ** Wow, this is really bothering you isn't it?

**Joong: ** You know you can just ask for a new target? It wouldn't really count as a loss seeing as you haven't gotten anywhere in the first place 

**Joong: ** Technically the game hasn’t really started 

**San: ** Yes THANK YOU hyung

**San: ** I didn't need the reminder

**San: ** And I don't need a new target

**San: ** I’ll show Yunho and Mingi 

**San: ** It's just nothing I try works

**San: ** And I've tried everything

**San: ** None of it's ever failed me before, this should have been easy 

**San: ** It’s ALWAYS easy that’s why it’s no fun until they’re in the palm of my hand 

**San: ** I can make him blush so I know he isn't completely immune to me 

**San: ** Who can blame him, really? 

**San: ** At least he has taste 

**Joong:** There's the self confidence bordering on arrogance that we all know and love

**Joong: **...and occasionally get irritated by

**San: ** It's just those fucking friends of his

**San:** They're EVERYWHERE

**San: ** I bet they’re the reason he’s so wary of me 

**San: ** And I can't get close to him to try and change that 

**San:** Not unless I can make them disappear and you have no idea how badly I want to make that happen

**San: **But I can't curse them to get them out of my way because he’ll know it was me and all my hard work will be ruined 

**San:** Everything I've endured this past week would be for NOTHING hyung 

**Joong: ** Seriously San, just get Yunho to change the target

**Joong:** We'll pick a nice little Gryffindor for you to fuck with 

**Joong: ** Sure, you'll have to put up with Yunho's gloating for a few days

**Joong: ** But then we can really get the game started and finally have some fun with it 

**San:** Seems like you three are having plenty of fun at my expense.

**Joong:** None of us enjoy your suffering San, not really

**Joong: **No matter what Yunho and Mingi say, the disrespect is infuriating and it can't be allowed to stand. 

**Joong: **They just like to mess with you, but you know they care 

**Joong: **Even if you switch targets, we'll still make them suffer for this

**Joong: **Don't worry, they don't get away with it.

**San: ** I thought you wanted the Hufflepuff to be my target so you could get closer to Seonghwa?

**San: ** Or is this because you're scared that if I win, and he finds out he'll toss you in the lake for the merpeople and the kappa to fight over?

**San: ** Or at the very least just hate you more than he already does, which is an impressive amount already, and want nothing to do with you ever again? 

**Joong: ** That doesn't bother me because I can't read hahahahaaaaa

**Joong: ** But seriously San, it's been a week and a half and you've gotten nowhere

**Joong: ** Giving up-

**San: ** I'm not giving up

**San: ** He's my Hufflepuff now…or at least he will be

**San: ** Once I get the others out of the way and get him to talk to me

**San: ** It's going to be easy, I just need an opportunity

**San: ** That half-blood humiliated me before, I won't let him do it again hyung

**Joong: ** I was afraid you'd say that

**San: ** If you're not going to be helpful get lost hyung

**San: ** I need to come up with another plan

**Joong: ** Just because your usual approach has worked for you before doesn't mean that it will every single time

**Joong: ** This situation with Wooyoung is different, he’s not the usual kind of target 

**Joong: ** He's got his friends and he's not exactly receptive to you

**Joong: ** So you need to try a different approach

**San: ** A different approach?

**San: ** Like what?

**Joong: ** Why don't you take Seonghwa's advice and back off? 

**San: ** Who’s side are you on!? 

**Joong: ** Look, you're being a little over the top Sannie

**Joong: ** And it’s really not like you 

**Joong: ** Under normal circumstances he might find the effort you're going to cute 

**Joong: ** But he and his friends evidently know better and they think it’s weird 

**Joong: ** They went to Hogwarts with us so they must have heard the stories and clearly they aren’t as gullible as all the others who think that ‘this time it must be different’ because they're 'so special' and 'they've managed to change us', so they’re expecting the same 

**Joong: ** You going out of your way to try and talk to him isn’t helping, it's just making them suspicious 

**Joong: ** So back off

**San: ** And then what?

**San: ** I've already wasted a week and a half hyung

**San: ** Am I supposed to just back off and watch him for weeks like some kind of creepy stalker?

**San:** No offence

**Joong: ** Because I'd like to have a conversation with Seonghwa that doesn't involve him looking at me with faint disgust or calling me any multitude of vaguely hurtful names...I'm going to ignore that comment.

**Joong: ** You take a step back 

**Joong: ** You find out more about him

**San: ** Why would I possibly want to do that? 

**Joong: ** Because if you find out what he likes, then you can find the best way to approach him 

**San: ** I don't know hyung

**San: ** Can I really afford to waste time like that? 

**San: ** I have to get past his friends, get past the barrier he puts up whenever I'm around and then get him to fall for me 

**San: ** And fuck the points, I want this over with as fast as possible 

**San:** I refuse to put up with him for 2 months

**Joong: ** It would at least get his friends to lower their guard if nothing else

**Joong: ** And you might find another way to get close to him 

**Joong: ** What have you got to lose?

  
  



	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear diary....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Cursing cause San's grouchy af. 
> 
> Yo, I'm a bit later than usual but ya'll will be pleased to know I've finished first year and now I've got weeks and weeks to spend a lot more time writing! 
> 
> I've actually already managed to write the first draft of a few chapters for this while I've been finishing up Uni and editing the chapters for the current part of the pirate au! I'm thinking that once I'm done editing that and start writing the next part, I'll focus on editing the chapters I'm storing up for this so that I can start updating somewhat faster! 
> 
> Anyway, I was blocked for ages for how to proceed with this but then I talked to Delyn and I had a fun idea, I hope you guys like it ;) 
> 
> I also hope you guys are still interested in this :') I know it's been slow going so far, that's my fault for taking so long and writing so much that I had to split chapters in half cause really this should have been chapter 3 or 4 and I had to split this one too but I'm trying not to go over 10K words this time!

**Hufflepuff Half-Bloods and Where to Find Them**

**Day One **

_ Joong hyung may or may not have had a slither of a good idea, not that I’ll ever admit to that out loud. Ever. I’ll burn this ridiculous log book thing before he ever finds out I wrote that, and it should be noted that this is a LOG, a RECORD even! It’s certainly not a diary like Mingi keeps cackling about when he noticed me writing in here. A diary? Please. I’d never keep something so pathetic. It’s insulting that he thinks I’d do something so ridiculous. All I’m doing is just taking-ugh, I can’t believe I’m saying this, this can NEVER be found. I’m taking hyung’s advice and I’m taking a step back from the Hufflepuff. _

_ From today onwards I won’t try and approach him, I won’t try and give him coffee or food or anything else...I’m just going to observe. Like Scamander and those beasts of his. I just need to figure out what makes that Hufflepuff tick, what he likes and dislikes. What can get me close to him and the best opportunity to do so. Then, in theory if Joong hyungs’s last brain cell was working correctly, I should be able to approach him at last and do it properly this time. He won’t be able to resist me, not anymore. Not when I know all his dark little secrets and the inner workings of his weird little mind. He’ll be right in the palm of my hand like he should have been from the start. _

_ Thinking about it, even if I did manage to find a way around those bodyguards of his, he’s too wary of me now anyway. I put him too on guard and I won’t get a single word out of him like that. In retrospect, I can see that perhaps I really did come on a little too strong. When my usual methods didn’t work and I couldn’t get through to him, perhaps I may have...panicked, slightly. Or perhaps I’m just rusty, it has been a while since I’ve played this game. But nothing worked and usually a well timed wink is more than enough to have people falling at my feet, yet it didn’t work on him. Why? I can only assume his friends warned him about me, and he realised who I was from our encounter before. I shouldn’t have been so overzealous in my attempts to get him to even just talk to me, I should have been more cautious. More careful. People usually love gestures like that though, it never fails, yet the Hufflepuff didn’t. It’s strange. Even with a warning or influence from his mud-blood friends he shouldn’t have been able to resist me. I’m a pure-blood, he should be thankful I’m even deigning to look at him, let alone speak to him. Do you know how many people would DIE for me if I bought them coffee? How many people would be falling all over themselves to eat with me, especially if I’d actually bothered to buy them food? What the fuck is wrong with him? Is it because he’s a Hufflepuff? I can’t recall ever actually playing this game with a Hufflepuff before. I know the others have, but my targets were usually from other Houses. They could at least have warned me about Hufflepuff’s strange resistance to our charms. Wait...what if...what if it’s just me? What if Hufflepuff’s are resistant to me? Or worse...what if I’ve lost my touch?! No. No that can’t be it. It has to be this specific Hufflepuff. There’s something wrong with him. There has to be, and I’ll find out what it is. _

_ Speaking of, there he is. I’d recognise that horrifically sunshiney aura anywhere, unfortunately. It’s time to try my hand at watching and observing from afar. Kind of like Hongjoong hyung, but without the omnioculars and penchant for hiding in foliage. _

~~~~~~~~~~

_ Well, it would appear that the Hufflepuff doesn’t actually like coffee...I told you there was something wrong with him. Who the hell doesn’t like coffee!? It’s necessary to everyday functioning, but aside from that how the fuck is it possible for him to be that disgustingly happy and loud and...energtic without coffee!? Make it make sense. It’s impossible. No wonder he wasn’t moved by my touching effort to bring him coffee that morning, but how was I supposed to know that he was some kind of abnormal, coffee hating freak? I dare anyone to take one look at him and not assume he’s had at least two cups of coffee to act like THAT. It was an honest mistake, but this is a worrying development. If he doesn’t like coffee then that the fuck am I supposed to casually approach him with to try and start a conversation and make him warm to me?! Pumpkin juice?! _

~~~~~~~~~~

_ …….Strawberry frappes. Really? That’s the disgusting concoction he likes so much? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, he’s so stomach-churningly sunshiney that it seems the appropriate drink for him, but I don’t see how it’s any better than coffee. He’s a child. I’d never touch one of those sugary monstrosities with a barge pole, but apparently he just LOVES them. With extra whipped cream and rainbow fucking sprinkles. _

_ RAINBOW. _

_ SPRINKLES. _

_ Of COURSE he has to have the sprinkles. I think this might be the most horrifying sight I’ve seen all day. When Seonghwa handed him one he practically leaped on him like a goblin spotting gold. I’ve never seen his face light up like that before and it’s all over some hideous pink drink. I REFUSE to buy one of those things. REFUSE. Fuck it, who needs to woo him with a drink? I’ll find another way. I draw the line here, I will NOT be seen with some pink, cream filled, rainbow sprinkled eyesore of a drink in my hand. I have a reputation to maintain. If I walk around campus holding THAT people will start to get the wrong idea about me. They’ll think I’ve gone soft and they would be wrong. So very wrong. It’s not happening. Nope. No way. _

_ Speaking of Seonghwa, is Hongjoong really sure that the Huffepuff isn’t dating him? It’s genuinely sickening how much they feel the need to touch each other. There’s the hugging and the cuddling and the TOUCHING. It’s incessant and when the Hufflepuff is happy, Park smiles that stupid smile of his, it’s nauseating. Just today he kept patting the Hufflepuff’s hair, which he seems to quite enjoy for some unknown reason and he couldn’t seem to stop hugging him. Perhaps he’s been bewitched? That would explain...so fucking much. I’m honestly embarrassed for him as a fellow pure-blood, what the hell went wrong with him? _

* * *

**Day Two**

_ Merlin save me, these people are so fucking boring. All they seem to do all day is cling to each other with the previously mentioned hugging and touching. I’m going to be scarred for life if I have to keep watching all this affection. Then there’s their behaviour. Would it kill them to even just bend a rule? They’re so maddeningly well behaved. I’ve not seen them trip one single half-blood that’s gotten in their way or brutally humiliate a mud-blood in the middle of class just because. What is wrong with them? Well, I suppose that’s obvious, they ARE of tainted blood. But you’d think they’d still enjoy fucking with the people who fuck with them, but oh wait...it seems like the Hufflepuff is friends with EVERYONE. How is that possible? Is it not exhausting being that...friendly? _

_ More importantly, if they’re not torturing their fellow dirty-blooded brethren, what the hell do they do for entertainment? I’ve been on my best behaviour for one entire day so that I can stay under the radar and not draw attention to myself and I’m already bored as fuck. But I can’t have any rumours getting out about me being ‘mean’, ‘nasty’, ‘a menace to society’ or whatever pathetic whining they come up with, in case it scares the Hufflepuff away. I need to make him think I’ve really changed, as if there was anything wrong with me in the first place. This is so fucking stupid and it sucks ass. _

_ You have no idea how badly I wanted to push that annoying as fuck half-blood Jung Hoseok down the stairs this morning, accidentally of course. Who needs to shriek that loud THAT early in the morning?! Some of us haven’t even had our damn coffee yet and we’re being subjected to his high pitched screeching over who the fuck knows what. Let’s be honest, there’s really sweet fuck all to get excited about when it’s ass o’clock in the morning and you’re on your way to class to be bothered by the existence of those filthy blooded annoyances for another day. _

_ Personally, I think I deserve a medal for putting up with that high pitched, endless shrieking and not planting my foot in his spine and sending him down the staircase. I’m sure he would have survived and only been a little bit damaged while I’d have finally gotten some blessed silence, but no. I had to put up with it because if the Hufflepuff found out I’d kicked him down the stairs, it would ruin everything. _

_ I can’t believe this is going to be my life for the next few weeks. Putting up with this kind of shit on the daily and repressing the urge to put the mud-blood’s in their place. I can’t even give a half-blood a little shove, how am I going to get through the next few weeks? What were the Hufflepuff and his friends wailing at breakfast this morning? Conceal don’t feel? I suppose that’s accurate...it’s going to be my life until this bet is over with. _

_ What did I ever do to deserve this? Of course they picked the one target that actually CARES about my reputation and that’s going to make my life a misery. It really is your own friends, remember that. _

~~~~~~~~~~

_ My first observation of the day: the Hufflepuff seems to genuinely like Potions, I’ll give him that. Though he’s not as good at it as me, but then no-one is so I suppose I can’t really hold that against him. He’s not entirely awful at it though. He at least makes an effort and he’s never actually set anything on fire or made anything explode, which is more than can be said for Mingi. Just today he was too focused on glancing fearfully at Yeosang (don’t get me started on the fact that he, a pure-blood, fears a fucking half-blood of all things! It’s pathetic and we’ll need to address this issue, but one problem at a time.) so he put too much wolfsbane in the cauldron and BOOM. He’s lucky I have fast reflexes, I swear to Merlin if he ever embarasses me like that in Potion’s again I’m going to make sardines come out of his nose for a week. _

_ The only good thing to come out of that particular incident is that I’m almost sure the Hufflepuff glanced at me with something resembling concern, but I couldn’t quite tell. I’m not supposed to be looking at him right now, let alone meeting his gaze across the Potion’s room while the smell of Mingi’s charred robe drifts between us, ugh. _

_ So I suppose that’s somewhat of a positive about him, if there’s even anything remotely positive about being a half-blood. At least he’s proficient in Potions and perfectly capable at it, which means I should be able to hold a conversation with him without wanting to Crucio myself. _

_ My second observation of the day is more horrifying. It seems he’s just as clingy with his friends as they are with him, it’s legitimately sickening to watch and I feel like I need some sort of therapy after witnessing it. He’s just so...bright and affectionate and...friendly. He really is the embodiment of human sunshine, it’s horrific. They picked him as my target just to fuck with me, I’m sure of it. They don’t give a damn about me getting revenge for the humiliation he caused me, they just want to watch me suffer. But I won’t let this break me. I can’t. I’m stronger than some sunshiney Hufflepuff with tainted blood. I’m Choi San! _

_ ….but seriously, if I have to watch him cuddle with one of them, or hold their hand or snuggle his face into their necks one more time I’m going to have to gouge out my own eyes to survive. It’s all they ever seem to do, along with being pathetically boring, rule following nerds. _

* * *

**Day Three **

_ I have found my salvation from that hideously pink, sugary iced confection at long last, and it’s name is ‘Hot Cocoa’. That’s right, alongside the drink that Hell itself spat out, I discovered this morning that the Hufflepuff likes hot chocolate. Of course he does. It’s warm, and sickeningly sweet, just like he is. I can’t even be surprised at this stage, all I’ve learned is that he’s human sunshine fuelled by pure sugar. If it’s got enough sugar in it to fell a baby Hippogriff then he probably likes it, and Park isn’t much better. I assume Hongjoong hyung’s aware of this fact, if not he’d better thank me for my discovery. _

_ Whatever, the Hufflepuff’s sugar addiction aside...I can work with this. I have exactly zero problem with being seen carrying around a hot chocolate in a nondescript cup, instead of one of those pink monstrosities that he loves so much for some unknown reason. I’m at least ninety-nine percent sure that drinking those...things, is going to result in an early grave but that’s one less half-blood so who really cares? Certainly not me. _

_ The only downside to this miraculous discovery was that I had the misfortune of watching Park sprinkle little mini marshmallows into his mug for him...while cooing over him and smiling at him adoringly. It ruined my appetite and I couldn’t find it in myself to finish breakfast. Disgusting. _

~~~~~~~~~~

_ You know, I think all of my self-restraint and this ‘biding my time’ thing is actually starting to pay off. When I glanced over at the Hufflepuff in class today, he was looking at me and he didn’t immediately try to avoid my eyes like he usually does. I even smiled my friendliest smile at him to try to put him at ease and he actually blushed. I knew he wasn’t truly immune to me. It’s the dimples, gets them every time. He seemed more relaxed now that I wasn’t constantly trying to get his attention, Joong hyung really was right about this. Fuck, I suppose I owe him one now. I know exactly what he’ll want in exchange, something to do with Seonghwa and I really don’t have time to waste on that trainwreck waiting to happen. I’m lulling the Hufflepuff into a false sense of security and it won’t be long before I can make my move. _

_ Unfortunately that Kang Yeosang person keeps clinging on to him at all times. He does appear to have momentarily stopped tossing me dirty looks every minute he can, so perhaps his friends are being lulled into a false sense of security as well. If they’re letting their guard down it’ll only make it easier for me to get to the Hufflepuff when the time is right. It’s kind of a shame, I was planning to pay Kang back for each and every one of those looks so the more the merrier but I suppose there’ll be time for that later. I can’t touch him until the bet is over. _

~~~~~~~~~~

_ Another new observation, I really am on a roll; the Hufflepuff seems to like to study in the library either alone, or with those irritations he calls friends. From what I could see, he spends his time reading various texts about plants rather than anything else. Not even just the odd article from various publications, we’re talking big, hefty tomes that could probably double as some kind of weapon. I love Potions but even I’m not about to read a book thick enough to serve as a step stool just for shits and giggles. He’s a strange one. I know he’s a Herbology major, I found that out easy enough. But evidently he enjoys the subject enough to do plenty of extra reading in his downtime. Either that or he’s just really fucking bad at Herbology and needs all the help he can get. _

_ I watched him check out an entire stack of books today, almost as tall as him. He could barely see over the top and yet he was trying to carry them all at once. I really do have to question his intelligence, his friends were right there. I think they’re getting to me. Observing the Hufflepuff and his intolerable sunshiney-ness and his friends and their endless affection is getting to me because something very strange came over me today in the library. I probably shouldn’t write this down in case someone, (Mingi, Yunho I'm looking at you) finds this and uses it against me but I’m so unsettled I have to get it out and I will never, ever admit this out loud to anyone. _

_ Today I….I may have felt the quite frankly embarrassing urge to...to offer to help the Hufflepuff carry his books. Well shit, it looks worse written out like this. If the others find out it’s over for me. I’ll never live it down. I can’t believe that happened to me, I can’t believe I wanted to HELP him. He’s a half-blood, what do I care if he drops all of those books on his foot, or walks into things or falls down the stairs because he can’t see over them? There are charms for this shit, why does he have to do everything the muggle way?! _

_ Actually no, I changed my mind. _

_ I should have offered to carry them for him. I’m an idiot, I was too focused on that horrible urge. Too embarrassed and honestly...I was too shocked once I realised what it was to really think it through. FUCK. I should have offered, I bet he’d have loved that shit. That’s the kind of caring, sickeningly sweet gesture that he probably loves. He’d have fallen at my feet right then and there. For fuck’s sake. I shouldn’t have questioned it, I should have just given in and followed it. It was just...such a strange, foreign sensation that I had to take a minute to make sure that I: _

_ 1\. Wasn't dying _

_ 2.Hadn't been hexed _

_ 3\. Still wasn't dying _

_ 4\. Hadn't been cruelly cursed for no reason at all _

_ 5\. Really, truly, 100% wasn't dying in any way, shape or form _

_6\. Hadn't been possessed by one of the University ghosts (I don't trust those incorporeal freaks)_

_ 7\. Had come to terms with the betrayal of my own mind _

_ But it just turns out that it was my subconscious trying to do me a solid, who knew? _

* * *

**Day Four **

_ The Hufflepuff’s so damn cheery and bright in the mornings, it’s awful. I don’t know how anyone puts up with him...I don’t know how I’M going to put up with him. He’s like that all the time usually, but there’s just something about that behaviour in the morning that makes it more of an affront. It’s the morning, it’s far too early to be awake let alone having to down a coffee and some toast to make it to a lecture on time. Who the fuck wants to be up super early in the morning for a lecture? When most of us have parties to go to at night? Or have to stay up to finish assignments? Absolutely fucking no-one except for the Hufflepuff and his freaky friends. There’s something seriously wrong with them all and I’m only just scratching the surface. Once things are in motion, if I’m subjected to that sunshiney face THIS early in the morning...I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold myself back from Alarte Ascendare-ing him through the fucking roof. _

~~~~~~~~~~

_ So, the house elf wasn’t lying about the information I managed to get out of him on the Hufflepuff. He really does love meat, tteokbokki, fried chicken and ice cream among other things. I’m shocked his diet isn’t entirely sugar based and that he actually eats real food. The house elf didn’t seem to be lying to me when I managed to persuade it to tell me, but considering the Hufflepuff wouldn’t touch a thing on the tray I had to be sure I wasn’t lied to. _

_ I went to great pains to verify this particular information, I need to know the Hufflepuff’s likes and dislikes and I already made an error with the coffee. I had to make sure that I know what he likes to eat so that I can perhaps leave a favourite snack for him to find, or casually offer to buy him lunch and tempt him with something I know he won’t be able to resist if the opportunity arises. Especially when things get further along, I need to make sure he falls for me hard and what better way to his heart than through his stomach? _

_ Unfortunately, in order to do this, I had to sit and observe the Hufflepuff at many a mealtime instead of just getting food to go and eating with the others in our mud-blood free hideaway. I even had to use a disillusionment charm to make sure that I blended into the background and no-one saw me: _

_1\. Sitting there alone like a loser_

_2\. Watching the Hufflepuff and everything he ate like a freak _

_3\. Writing it all down in the back of this log like some kind of stalker (I'm not stalking him, I'm researching!)_

_ Do you know how many times someone almost sat on me? Or walked into me? It was humiliating, but I’d draw too much attention (as I should) and I couldn’t have them notice me and run off to hide somewhere that I couldn’t follow. It was IMPERATIVE that I find out his eating habits. But still...a mud-blood almost used me as a fucking armchair. I hope he enjoyed getting his ass incendio’d. _

_ As if that wasn’t bad enough I had to sit through Park feeding the Hufflepuff pieces of his food like a mother bird feeding its baby but thankfully without the regurgitating. There was plenty of cheek pinching and that fucking awful cooing he insists on doing with that insipid smile. It puts me off my food entirely every time I have to witness it, so I’ve been hungry which makes me crankier than usual. It’s been harder to resist the urge to vent my frustrations by putting a half-blood in their place, or making a mud-blood regret being born...but I’ve managed it. Somehow, I’ve managed it. _

_ On the plus side, his friends definitely seem to be relaxing their guard around me, so I guess backing off really did work. They don’t see me as a threat anymore and they seem to think I’ve given up. Idiots. From the way they’ve been protecting the Hufflepuff, you’d think they’d know better. Whatever, it’s not like I care how shit a job they do at protecting him. It’s just going to make my life easier. Whatever move I make when I’m ready, they won’t be able to intercept and stop because they think I’ve just...left him alone and lost all interest. Which is exactly what I wanted them to think, it’s why I try not to look at him and catch his attention too much. I allow the odd glance here or there to keep him hooked, but I have to be subtle about it. _

~~~~~~~~~~

_ I think there’s something wrong with the Hufflepuff. I think he looked almost a little bit...sad today? Not that I actually care, per se, it’s just strange and oddly unsettling to see him without his usual stupid smile. It’s kind of like seeing a dog walking on its hind legs, or something. I don’t know what to make of it? I’m not sure what he could possibly have to be sad about, his friends are always there, clinging to him like leeches. Perhaps if I find out, I can figure out how to help him? That might earn me his trust finally. _

~~~~~~~~~~

_ We have a problem. Well, a problem but also a potential opportunity at last. _

_ I’ve noticed that the Hufflepuff keeps disappearing off to who knows where, usually in the afternoons or the evenings. I’d assumed he was going to his dorm to hang out with his freakish friends, or to the library because those seem like the only two places these losers ever go. I’ve yet to see them step one foot off of campus and that muggle coffee shop just beyond the gates doesn’t count, it’s BARELY off campus, it’s practically on the border. It’s surprising, I thought they’d be venturing off campus all the freaking time considering half-bloods and mud-bloods just seem to LOVE muggles and fully embrace their muggle heritage even though they’re beyond that now. They’ve been blessed with magic, they’re wizards now, but they still cling onto their dirty muggle roots. It’s baffling. Perhaps they’d be more tolerable if they didn’t. _

_ They’re even trying to change Seonghwa into one of them, ‘educating’ him on all things muggle and the most shocking part of the whole thing is that he’s allowing it. He’s just going along with it and it seems like he’s actually enjoying himself doing it?! He’s so eager to learn all about the muggles, why? For what purpose? What the fuck does Hongjoong see in him? He’s a disgrace to all pure-bloods, but that’s not the point. _

_ The point is the little discovery I made today...the Hufflepuff has a secret and I know what it is. _

_ Normally when he heads in that general direction I assume he’s going to the dorms or the library so I don’t usually bother following because quite frankly, I have better things to do with my time than watch him reading those boring, dusty plant books, or be disgustingly clingy with his friends. There’s only so many times I can witness it without wanting to throw up, and I can’t follow them into the dorms and observe them there anyway. _

_ But I noticed that Choi Yeonjun, that half-blood stain upon our house, keeps sniffing around _ <strike> _ my _ </strike> _ the Hufflepuff. What is it with this half-blood and luring in pure-bloods? Is his sunshiney-ness some sort of pure-blood bewitching device? Like a little sunshiney siren? Thankfully I’m immune, whatever it is. _

_ Anyway, the two of them were walking together so I decided to follow in case I needed to use a minor slug vomiting charm on him. I know he’s a fellow Slytherin, but he IS a half-blood and my dignity and reputation are on the line here. There’s no time for niceties or an internal debate about whether or not the fact he’s a Slytherin outweighs the fact he’s got tainted blood. I followed them all the way to the dorms, and I thought I’d wasted my time following them for nothing. BUT that’s when I made my discovery. _

_ The Hufflepuff ended up leaving Yeonjun outside the dorms and he scurried back off to whatever hole he had the audacity to crawl out of, but the Hufflepuff didn’t go inside. Instead he carried on walking, so I followed at a discreet distance. I’ve gotten quite good at that, perhaps I should give Hongjoong hyung some pointers so that Seonghwa stops yelling at him whenever he spots him and either throwing him into the air with Alarte Ascendare or hitting him with Petrificus Totalus depending on how vindictive he’s feeling that day. _

_ More importantly, it turns out the Hufflepuff hides out at the greenhouses...WITHOUT his friends. _

_ I’ve seen him going in that direction every single day I’ve been _ <strike> _ watching _ </strike> _ observing him, and he’s never with his friends. I didn’t think twice about it, perhaps I should have but I’d assumed he was going to the back of the dorms to the outdoor common area or the back entrance for whatever strange reason, (who knows what goes on in the minds of half-bloods) but he must have been going to the greenhou- _

_ Well actually, I know he’s been going there. I just cornered one of the house elves lurking nearby that’s supposed to keep an eye on them and it told me that the Hufflepuff goes there almost every evening or afternoon and that he’s almost always alone. Presumably he goes when his friends are busy and can’t go with him, or perhaps he goes there when he needs some space from them and they’re all at the dorm which is understandable really. I don’t know how he puts up with them and the clinging. But he does go pretty much every single day and nine times out of ten he’s alone, that’s confirmed. If I want to get the Hufflepuff all alone, that’s going to be my best bet. _

_ From what I could see today, I think he likes to spend time with the plants for some strange reason. I know he’s a Herbology major but this is a little overboard isn’t it? I major in Potions and while I love the subject dearly I don’t spend all my extra time in the ingredients cupboard crooning to the bottles and jars. You should have seen the way he was standing there talking the things as if they were sentient. It’s utterly ridiculous. But if he goes there regularly alone to care for the plants, I think that might be my way forward. It seems that he has his own smaller greenhouse entirely to himself attached to the big main one. I watched him use a key to access it and I’m assuming that one of the faculty gave it to him. Clearly he’s not only good at Herbology but he’s somewhat of a teacher’s pet. Of course, fucking Hufflepuff’s. _

_ Whatever, he’s got all kinds of plants secreted away in there and he spent far too long making heart eyes at the ugliest plant I have ever seen in my life. Just when I thought the Hufflepuff couldn’t get any weirder, you do you I guess. _

* * *

**Day Five **

_ There’s definitely something wrong with the Hufflepuff. He keeps moping around all over the campus with this ridiculously pouty look on his face and these big sad eyes. It’s sickening, but I’m fairly sure it indicates that he’s had a bad day, perhaps? Or days, rather. Even those irritating friends of his and their annoying clinging can’t seem to make him even so much as smile, I mean really? Do your job, it’s the only thing you’re even remotely good at under normal circumstances. You’re his best friends and you went to such lengths to ‘protect’ him from me, but you can’t even cheer him up now? _

_ Whatever. Their failings as friends have nothing to do with me, I really don’t care. All I care about is what this means for me, that being that it’s my time to shine. From what I’ve observed the past few days the Hufflepuff loves two things and two things only. _

_ 1\. His annoying, pain in the ass, clingy, over-protective, disgustingly affectionate friends _

_ 2\. Plants (the level to which he loves those things is, quite frankly, worrying. They're plants for Merlin's sake. It's really not that deep, but he babies them more than his friends baby him. It's nauseating to watch) _

_ If even his beloved friends can’t cheer him up, then there’s one option left to try and I’m going to take it. Honestly, it’s so obvious I can’t believe his stupid friends haven’t tried it but then...what do you expect from those with tainted blood? I’d expected better from Seonghwa. Maybe if he stopped cooing and fussing over him for two minutes the thought might occur to him, but their idiocy is my gain. They’ve left me with the perfect opening to take a tentative step forward. To test the waters, as it were. I can conduct a little experiment using all that I’ve observed and then gauge his reaction so that I can see whether I’m on the right track. Whether I have a way in at last, and not a moment too soon. _

_ That Slytherin with the tacky yellow hair keeps...sniffing around my Hufflepuff. I haven’t ascertained whether or not he’s just looking for friendship (half-bloods have to stick together I suppose) or whether he’s after something else. T<strike>he Hufflepuff isn’t bad looking I guess. Objectively, I suppose I can see the appeal if you look past the fact that he’s half muggle...and a Hufflepuff.</strike> But unfortunately for the Slytherin, he’s sniffing after my target and I can’t allow him to get any closer than he already has. _

_ I don’t have time to stakeout the greenhouse, but I’m sure I’m right. He was there again today and there’s no way he’ll leave those plants unattended, which means he’ll be paying it a visit tomorrow at some point. I’ll have to take the chance and assume he’ll go there at his usual time...and that he’ll go alone. From what that house elf said it’s rare for one of his friends to go with him, I’m surprised because I thought they were all permanently attached at the hip and scarily codependent but here we are. _

_ I think it’s time to try phase one of my new plan and see if a ‘gentler’ approach, or whatever the hell hyung was talking about the other day, works. Honestly, this has become way harder work than I thought it would be, it’s exhausting and the mental trauma is going to bother me for years to come. I’ve seen things I never should have been made to see and it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life. All of this for a fucking half-blood, I can’t wait for this to be over. At least the look on his face will make it all worth it. _

* * *

It had been six days since San had decided to do the one thing he’d never thought he would do...follow Hongjoong’s advice. He’d been reluctant at first, but had slowly warmed to the idea. He had nothing to lose at this point, so why not try something else? It had been clear the Hufflepuff was unusual so why not take a chance on an unusual approach? 

So he’d backed off from Wooyoung entirely. He’d stopped trying to talk to him, he’d stopped trying to give him coffee or corner him in the halls and he’d stopped trying to make eye contact with him. Ever since he’d started his log, all he’d done was perhaps throw a cool glance the Hufflepuff’s way if they just so happened to accidentally make eye contact. He’d opted instead to keep a close eye on him from afar as he tried to figure out what he could use to approach him and the best way to do so. San could admit that towards the end of his first failed campaign, he had been becoming a little over the top...for him at least. It was honestly a little bit embarrassing and he couldn’t quite believe he hadn’t nipped it in the bud sooner in favour of a different plan. He may or may not have...panicked, ever so slightly, when all of his usual tricks failed him and so he’d _ perhaps _ended up coming on a little strong. Any other person would have revelled in the attention from him, but as he’d established the Hufflepuff was...odd. 

But that was all in the past, and San’s new course of action had served him well. He’d monitored the Hufflepuff at every chance he got, without revealing himself and he’d bided his time. Taking note of the Hufflepuff’s likes and dislikes. Or anything really, that would give him a new way in with the half-blood and make it easier for him to get close. To make the Hufflepuff feel at ease with him and his...advances. He’d easily identified where he’d been going wrong, the coffee was a stupid mistake in retrospect but who the hell _ doesn’t _like coffee!? The Hufflepuff seemed to be friendly enough with everyone, so it had clearly been his past reputation keeping him on guard with San, that and whatever his friends were whispering in his ear. But that wasn’t going to be a problem, San had a way around that...he just needed a chance to approach him and now he had it. 

San had clearly been able to see just how much he loved his friends, although Merlin knew why, as well as why Herbology was his major. The Hufflepuff had a clear love of plants that San had been able to pick out almost immediately from observing him, though he’d dropped the ball by not investigating exactly where it was that he slunk off to when he disappeared around the side of the dorm. 

_ In my defence, there’s only so much I can take of that damn Hufflepuff and watching all his annoying little habits and his friends clinging all over him like rabid, affectionate leeches. How was I supposed to know he didn’t have some weird half-blood aversion to front entrances? It doesn’t matter, I know about his precious little greenhouse now and that’s all that matters. _

That’s what had inspired San’s venture for the day. His first attempt at this new approach, though he was only going to perform a small gesture. Just something to test out the Hufflepuff’s reaction and see if he was on to something or not. If he was, this would be the first step in his efforts to make the Hufflepuff fall for him, if it wasn’t...then he’d have to try something else. He’d spent enough time observing though, and it was time to make a move, no matter how small, and test out his newfound knowledge. 

At the very least, if nothing came of his observations then he might be able to take the Hufflepuff and his friends by surprise with some other scheme that he’d hammer out the details of later. None of them appeared to expect him to come near their precious Hufflepuff any longer and they weren’t quite so on guard around him. _ They think I’ve given up, idiots. They really are idiots. I’m Choi fucking San, I thought they knew all about me. Evidently they don’t know as much as they should if they want to play this game with me. _

No matter the outcome, now was the perfect chance for San to make a subtle foray once again. The Hufflepuff was no longer guarded and on edge around him, his friends appeared to have retired from being his personal bodyguards and most importantly...it was incredibly obvious to San that the Hufflepuff had been having a bad day or two. 

_ Which you know, sucks for him but it’s a fantastic opportunity for me! I couldn’t have asked for better timing. I can try my first attempt at a subtle, you could argue ‘thoughtful’, gesture and see how he takes it. See if it creates the slightest slither of an opening that I can take advantage of for my next move. This is a little out of my comfort zone, I haven’t tried anything quite like it before. That damn Hufflepuff is making me go to so much effort for him, it better be worth it in the end. Usually a coffee, or a snack, or something sparkly is more than enough to make my targets melt, but this Hufflepuff? Ugh. I can’t decide if he’s high maintenance or just really fucking weird. Probably the latter, or maybe a mix of both. Either way, I’m going to have to try a more thoughtful, ‘sincere’ gift and see if it pays off. It seems to be the kind of weird shit he’s in to. At least this way I can try it without alerting him and his friends and putting their guards right back up. _

San made his way over to the dorms with a pot clutched carefully in his hands. He’d taken great pains to select an appropriate plant and to actually get hold of it. The Flitterbloom had seemed far too common and not nearly impressive enough, as if he wasn’t even trying. While the Niffler’s Fancy seemed a bit _ too _ much of an extravagance given its rare nature and gleaming copper leaves. He didn’t want to be mistaken for trying too hard, after all. So he’d ended up settling somewhere in the middle with the Moondew plant. 

It was pretty, not quite so common as the Flitterbloom and certainly not so useless. It also had many uses when it came to potion making, as well as sweetening Butterbeer and it was more than a little bit aesthetically pleasing. The main stem of the plant along with the long, flat leaves that fanned out around it were a deep midnight blue, almost purple in some places. While the smaller leaves and additional stems were a deep, vivid purple. Little white, trumpet shaped flowers were scattered across the plant like stars across a night sky, and under the moonlight they were known to sparkle thanks to the dew that would collect on and within them. 

As far as San was concerned, it was the perfect plant for his purposes. From what he’d seen when he’d snooped through the University greenhouses, they didn’t possess this particular plant and neither did Wooyoung in what appeared to be his personal collection. At least from what San had been able to see observing him. He had tried to gain access to Wooyoung’s own, personal greenhouse to have a closer look, waiting for the Hufflepuff to leave before creeping up to the door that led from the main greenhouse into Wooyoung’s own smaller one. He was sure that the Hufflepuff was the only one possessing a key to it, aside from the Herbology professor. He’d seen no-one else trying to access it. Unfortunately for San, the lock had an extra charm on it to keep out the unwanted and he hadn’t wanted to alert the Hufflepuff to anyone snooping around by tampering with it, so all he’d been able to do was peer in through the glass to try and take his own inventory of the plants the Hufflepuff was currently in possession of. He had limited time, and as the plan had formed in his head the other day...he’d had to act quickly to ensure he could actually get the thing. 

San’s grand plan was to take the plant that he’d acquired and leave it outside the door to Wooyoung’s little greenhouse for him to find in an attempt to cheer the Hufflepuff up. It was subtle. It was thoughtful. It was, in San’s opinion, really fucking genius and he couldn’t get over the fact the boy’s own friends hadn’t bothered to try it. 

_ It’s a plant, he loves plants and it’s one that’s tricky enough to get hold of that I had to use a considerable amount of personal connections to just get hold of it, let alone get it so quickly. That should provide plenty of thought and effort and _ caring. _ He’ll love this shit, it’ll make him warm to me and it’ll buy me a tonne of brownie points. He’s going to be putty in my hands and it’s all thanks to this weird little plant thing. _

San thought to himself as he made his way past the dorms, on his way to the greenhouses. Catching a familiar flash of blonde hair, San paused and then threw himself quickly through an archway before peering back around it. 

_ Ah, my target. What’s he up to? He can’t get to the greenhouse before me or my plan will be ruined! _

San hadn’t been paying attention to Wooyoung’s whereabouts that day, he’d been far too focused on his plan and making sure it went off without a hitch. As far as he’d been aware, the Hufflepuff had been studying in the library with his pet annoyances. 

_ Shit, I need to hurry it up so I can beat him there and plant the….plant, outside the door. I can’t have him catching me leaving it, not yet anyway. I guess I could try again tomorrow, but I think I’ve run around after this little half-blood enough and I’m tired of it. _

His attention was quickly pulled by another familiar head of eye-watering hair. 

_ That fucking Slytherin. There he is, sniffing around _ my _ Hufflepu-target, again _ . San seethed. _ They seem to be quite close, or at least friendly with each other and I’m sure that yellow haired freak has more than a friendly interest in him. Why else would he stomach spending that much time hanging around him? Well tough shit, that’s my target and I’m not about to let you steal him from me after all the suffering I’ve endured. Not when I’m inching closer to victory...or at least the first, small step on my path towards it. _

_ I didn’t put in all this work, all this effort to even make so much as a first miniscule move after being humiliated day after day, just for that half-blood, walking eye-sore of a snake to swoop in out of nowhere and snatch away _ my _ fucking Hufflepuff. Not today Satan. Not. Today. GET YOUR OWN. _San practically hissed as he watched the two. 

Wooyoung was smiling that infuriating smile of his, the one that made his eyes scrunch up and the suggestion of a dimple appear on one cheek, seemingly at ease and enjoying talking to the boy who looked like he’d had some kind of toxic potion poured over his hair. 

_ I’m not only better looking than him, but at least my hair doesn’t make people’s eyes water if they look at it for too long. That should have been me by now, if the Hufflepuff wasn’t so damn fussy...and if he didn’t have such annoying, irritating friends to play bodyguard for him. Can you really call yourself a good friend if you cockblock them from quite probably the best looking person that’s ever bothered to notice them? _

_ Instead, here I am. Spending days finding out all the boring shit I can about what he likes and what he doesn’t like, like some kind of insipid schoolgirl with a crush. I want him wrapped around my finger and professing his love for me so that I can win this bet and maintain my reputation. I don’t really give a shit if he likes coffee or not, or what his daily schedule is, but because he’s such a pain in the ass it’s become necessary for me to waste my days like this. I’ve worked my ass off to even think about making a move on him again and that neon haired asshole is just standing there, chatting away to him about Merlin knows what. As if it’s really that easy. Meanwhile, I’m hauling this stupid plant all the way to the greenhouse just to see if I can possibly start to make a move again with this change in tactics. The fact I even have to use tactics whilst that prick just waltzes up to him with no problem infuriates me. Fuck this, I knew I should have cracked and used a love potion but no, I’m not a cheater so the hard way it is. _ San fumed as he glared at them. _ I can’t even do anything about this right now. _

Ordinarily, he would have cast a quick, nasty little spell on the other Slytherin to teach him a lesson. Something to cause him a hefty amount of humiliation and maybe even a little pain, considering how angry he was just then. Something that would make him back off from his Hufflepuff, but at that precise moment in time...Choi Yeonjun was proving to be unexpectedly useful, as infuriating as the situation was. Serving as the perfect distraction, keeping Wooyoung occupied long enough so that San would be able to make his delivery undetected. 

_ You live to irritate another day Choi. _

San had no choice but to push down his anger and stalk away to his destination, plant clutched in a white-knuckled grip. Visions of hexing the other Slytherin without mercy playing out in his mind to relax him. 

_ It’s fine. This is fine. No need to get so worked up over a couple of half-bloods. It’s not like that snake’s making any particular move and Wooyoung doesn’t seem all that interested in him. Not in that way. I’d say I’m one step ahead. In fact, not only do I know for a fact he finds me hot, I’m also in the middle of carrying out plan...uh….fuck it I lost track. Whatever. My move is better than Yeonjun’s move and I have the upper hand here. Soon enough that’ll be me in his place and he’ll have to find someone else to bother. _

_ I just need to take this plant, drop it off and then that sappy sunshine of a Hufflepuff will melt for me because he’s a sucker for pathetic gestures like this. Then once I’ve confirmed I’m on the right track and the opening is there for me...I’ll make my next move and it’ll all be over. Jung Wooyoung doesn’t stand a chance, not after all the hoops I’ve had to jump through. Not after everything I’ve found out. And neither does Choi Yeonjun. He’s not stealing my Hufflepu-target from me. _

  
  



	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's party time because the Wooyoung Protection Squad managed to see off San...but not everyone is happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii, it's been a while! I'm sorry it took me so long to update this, I had a bit of writer's block with this one more than once and struggled to get chapters written :( Then I was focusing on editing the pirate AU because it was easier than trying to drag myself through the blocks! 
> 
> There was also a bit of a stressful situation with starting second year and yeah. I'm currently working full time while doing uni because COVID screwed my place of work and we're understaffed, so I'm not going to promise to update this super quickly. I actually edited this a week ago and only managed to have a chance to check it and post it now! I've got up to chapter 14 'written' which for me is more like a long draft, I always have to edit it and make it less shit :') 
> 
> Hopefully once I'm back to my regular hours at work I can update more frequently if anyone's even still interested in this!? I'm going to try and work on editing the other chapters as well as writing the pirate AU, I actually had a good schedule going before work screwed me over but I'm so tired and have so little time I'm not sure how well it'll go! 
> 
> I just had to update this even though I'm gonna get to bed late because I realised it's been waaaaay too long :'( Hopefully you guys are still reading this and you'll enjoy the chapter!

** _Wooyoung Protection Squad_ **

**Sangie: **Day Six without the son of Satan breathing down our necks

**Sangie: **The sun is shining

**Sangie: **The birds are singing

**Jongho: **The tank is clean

**Sangie: **The tank is-

**Sangie: **wtf no 

**Sangie: **All is right in the world idiot 

**Jongho: **Or is it

**Sangie: **I don't care for your ominous quips BEGONE 

**Jongho: **:( 

**Hwa: **YEOSANG 

**Hwa: **Don’t make the baby sad 

**Jongho: **I’m NOT a baby hyung! 

**Sangie: **Your pout says otherwise but go on 

**Hwa: **….anyway 

**Hwa: **I'M just happy he finally got the message 

**Hwa: **I love you Wooyoungie, and I’ll do anything to keep you safe 

**Hwa: **But that fucker was EVERYWHERE 

**Hwa: **It was like he’d cloned himself, every time I turned around there he was 

**Hwa: **Watching and lurking with that stare 

**Sangie: **Ah the stare 

**Sangie: **Like he was planning how to kill and eat Woo 

**Hwa: **It was creepy and...unsettling 

**Hwa: **And he just wouldn’t listen 

**Hwa: **Even when I asked him nicely! 

**Jongho: **Nicely? I have to laugh 

**Sangie: **If that’s you being nice, may we never have the terror of experiencing mean Hwa 

**Hwa: **I’d never be mean to you, you’re my babies 

**Jongho: **I told you hyung, I’m NOT a baby! 

**Sangie: **I present exhibit A….your entire face 

** _Sangie _ ** _ sent an image _

**Sangie: **I rest my case 

**Hwa: **Do I want to know how you took that? 

**Sangie: **What? 

**Sangie: **We had a sleepover 

**Hwa: **You LEFT WOOYOUNG ALONE AGAIN?! 

**Hwa: **Don’t you remember what happened last time?! You- 

**Sangie: **But that’s all in the past now hyung 

**Sangie: **ding dong the bitch is gone 

**Hwa: **You’re right, and thank Merlin

**Hwa: **Threatening him is so exhausting 

**Jongho: **SO YOU ADMIT IT, YOU WERE THREATENING! 

**Hwa: **….if I were, it would be exhausting 

**Hwa: **and I've also got that nasty little gremlin to deal with too 

**Sangie: **It's not nice to call your boyfriend a gremlin Hwa hyung 

**Jongho: **Maybe he’s into that 

**Sangie: **That is hands down the most disgusting thing you have ever said Jongho 

**Sangie: **I’m so proud 

**Hwa: **He is NOT my boyfriend

**Hwa: **He is the bane of my existence 

**Sangie: **Cute 

**Hwa: **Always there

**Hwa: **Always lurking and simpering at me with his shitty pick up lines

**Hwa: **Where’s MY protection squad?! 

**Sangie: **You love it really hyung 

**Hwa: **I most definitely, assuredly do NOT! 

**Sangie: **methinks he doth protest too much in an overly articulate manner 

**Hwa: **This is why you’re my least favourite child 

**Sangie: **GASP that one hurt hyung 

**Hwa: **Hongjoong is just as much of a piece of work as Choi San

**Hwa: **I could never involve myself with someone like that 

**Hwa: **Someone who’s hurt and has watched his friends hurt others like Jongho 

**Hwa: **Who’s taken so much joy in other people’s misery 

**Sangie: **Who are you trying to convince? ;) 

**Hwa: **Yeosang, enough 

**Hwa: **I will never be even remotely friendly with some like Kim Hongjoong and his cohorts 

**Jongho: **Points were made

**Jongho: **Pick a different ship Yeosang

**Sangie: **But I'm in the mood for enemies to lovers :( 

**Woo: **Has it really been six days?

**Jongho: **Y’all hear something? 

**Sangie: **Oh, look, he finally remembered how to type 

**Woo: **I didn’t want to interrupt...whatever that was 

**Sangie: **You just want to stay on Hwa hyung’s good side 

**Sangie: **But i’ll let it slide this time 

**Sangie: **To answer your question...yes. Yes it has

**Sangie: **Six, beautiful, tranquil, Satan free days

**Woo: **Oh. 

**Sangie: **I don’t like the tone of that period. 

**Hwa: **It’s punctuation Yeosang, it doesn’t have a tone 

**Sangie: **FALSE! 

**Sangie: **Look at it sitting there, all glaring and-

**Hwa: **Was there a reason you started this hellscape of a conversation, Yeosang? 

**Sangie: **Oh right, that 

**Sangie: **It’s been six, beautiful, stunning absolutely fucking glorious demon free days-

**Hwa: **We’ve been over this, please get on with it 

**Jongho: **What’s the matter hyung? 

**Jongho: **Is it past your bedtime? Are you sleepy? 

**Jongho: **I know you’re old but I thought you could at least last until 9pm 

**Hwa: **Oh? What’s that? You DON’T need my help with your Transfiguration assignment?

**Hwa: **Okay brave soldier, good luck~

**Jongho: **Hyung no! 

**Jongho: **I didn’t mean it! 

**Jongho: **I was just showing affection :( 

**Hwa: **By bullying me? 

**Jongho: **….I’m baby 

**Sangie: **HELLO! 

**Sangie: **I SAID, it’s been six-

**Woo: **You really don’t need to keep saying it Sangie 

**Hwa: **Yeah, skip forward 

**Hwa: **I don’t have all day 

**Sangie: **You’ve ruined the build up 

**Hwa: **We’ll act suitably awed whenever you spit it out 

**Hwa: **Pinky swear 

**Sangie: **None of you have any sense of occasion 

**Sangie: **Ugh, fine 

**Sangie: **What I’ve been TRYING to say is….

**Sangie: **This calls for a celebration! 

**Woo: **It does? 

**Hwa: **Hmmm...it’s a school night 

**Hwa: **But I'll allow it this time

**Hwa: **and ONLY because we've all been so tense and on edge recently

**Hwa: **We deserve to relax a little now that it's all over 

**Hwa: **and most importantly, I didn't have to curse anyone and ruin my reputation and get dragged to Azkaban to be sucked dry by an ugly skeleton in a ratty old cape instead of living out my one, true dream 

**Jongho: **I can’t believe your dream is to teach bratty kids Astronomy 

**Woo: **I can’t believe you’d risk all that for me hyung 

**Jongho: **Did anyone else feel that? 

**Hwa: **Feel what? 

**Jongho: **Wooyoung’s puppy eyes popping out 

**Woo: **I love you hyung 

**Hwa: **Wooyoungie- 

**Jongho: **And there goes Hwa hyung’s 

**Jongho: **Sickening 

**Jongho: **Heartwarming...but also so very sickening 

**Sangie: **Ngl I'd have paid good money to see that 

**Jongho: **The puppy eyes? 

**Hwa: **Valid 

**Hwa: **Wooyoungie always looks extra adora-

**Sangie: **Not that 

**Sangie: **You getting dragged to Azkaban to french kiss a dementor 

**Hwa: **Of course you would 

**Jongho: **and the moment has been successfully ruined 

**Jongho: **Congratulations Yeosang 

**Sangie: **What!? 

**Sangie: **Do you all think hyung wouldn’t go without a fight?! 

**Jongho: **Well….

**Sangie: **Please 

**Sangie: **Hyung would be practical feral if they tried to take him away from Wooyoung while Choi was sniffing around still 

**Hwa: **What makes you think he’d still be sniffing around? 

**Jongho: **...I just got chills 

**Sangie: **That’s very Dark Wizard of you hyung 

**Sangie: **I didn't think you were capable of being such a badass 

**Hwa: **No-one hurts my babies 

**Hwa: **But in all seriousness, I wouldn’t actually kill him 

**Hwa: **I’d just hurt him a little until he finally learned his lesson 

**Sangie: **….my earlier point still stands 

**Sangie: **and now I’VE got chills 

**Sangie: **I’ve never seen this side of you hyung it’s….

**Woo: **awesome 

**Jongho: **alarming 

**Sangie: **Really fucking hot 

**Hwa: **You’re not my type 

**Sangie: **….you could have thought about it for like a second 

**Sangie: **But it’s okay hyung, you’re not my type either 

**Sangie: **I’m just SAYING it’s very sexy Dark Wizard of you 

**Sangie: **and once again I see what managed to rile Changkyun up 

**Sangie: **I’m sure Hongjoong’s Slytherin ass would love it 

**Hwa: **In his dreams 

**Sangie: **Oh I’m sure you are, frequently and vigorous-

**Jongho: **ha

**Jongho: **Look at you all 

**Jongho: **It's only been SIX days-

**Woo: **We can count Jongho 

**Jongho: **S I X! 

**Sangie: **So?

**Sangie: **He went from 0 to 100 pretty damn quick, why not the other way around? 

**Jongho: **Too quick 

**Sangie: **STOP BEING OMINOUS 

**Sangie: **He’s a fickle bitch 

**Jongho: **Are you hearing yourself?! 

**Jongho: **After the fuss you made before you’re not even remotely suspicious?! 

**Sangie: **Jongho, it’s over 

**Sangie: **We climbed Mount Doom 

**Sangie: **We destroyed the one ring 

**Sangie: **We made Sauron our bitch 

**Sangie: **San, I mean San 

**Jongho: **Yeosang-

**Sangie: **It’s time to head back to the Shire, crack out the beer and celebrate the good times Jongho 

**Sangie: **Embrace it 

**Hwa: **Not to brag but personally I think it was my threatening that did it 

**Hwa: **He's probably so terrified of me and what I’ll do to him if he hurts Wooyoungie that he dropped whatever little scheme he had planned 

**Hwa: **No need to thank me 

**Sangie: **Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning to 

**Jongho: **Did anyone else practically hear the way Hwa hyung went from speaking all grrr in bold to….Wooyoungie~ 

**Sangie: **Not now Jongho 

**Sangie: **Actually hyung, I'm fairly sure it was MY threats that worked

**Sangie: **Raiders of the Lost Ark works like a charm. 

**Sangie: **It’s the melting face, gets them ‘em every time 

**Hwa: **Gets them on the floor laughing you mean

**Hwa: **There was nothing remotely horrifying about that scene other than the muggle wizardry used to enact it and inflict it upon unsuspecting viewers 

**Sangie: **….so you agree? You think it WAS horrifying? 

**Hwa: **That's not the point

**Sangie: **No, the point is that it’s a CLASSIC hyung, you can’t slander Indie like this right in front of my salad 

**Jongho: **The POINT is that it all seems a little too easy, don’t you think? 

**Hwa: **Easy? 

**Sangie: **E A S Y!? 

**Hwa: **We spent days looking out for Wooyoungie, running all around the campus to make sure he was never alone

**Hwa: **To make sure that he was safe and make sure that demon didn't get close to him 

**Hwa: **I told you it was E X H A U S T I N G 

**Hwa: **Not that I’m complaining, I’d do anything for Wooyoungie 

**Hwa: **But I went out of my way to make sure Choi San stayed far, far away

**Hwa: **I almost missed a class-

**Sangie: **Terrifying 

**Hwa: **I almost got an Exceeds Expectations instead of an Outstanding-

**Sangie: **Oh the horror 

**Hwa: **I was ready to take a Dementors Kiss for Wooyoungie!

**Sangie: **Oh the pure, unadulterated-

**Hwa: **Yeosang, SHUT UP 

**Hwa: **Nothing about this was easy Jongho. 

**Hwa: **But as I said, it looks like he finally took my advice

**Hwa: **and he realised he was messing with the wrong people 

**Hwa: **So everything’s fine now 

**Sangie: **Yeah Jongho, let it go 

**Sangie: **But without all the singing and the ice 

**Jongho: **Let it go? LET IT GO?! 

**Jongho: **One does not simply let it fucking go 

**Jongho: **This is Choi San, infamous Slytherin 

**Jongho: **Well known to be evil and twisted and downright devious 

**Jongho: **don't you think he gave up a little too easily?

**Jongho: **No threats

**Jongho: **No hexes 

**Jongho: **No murder attempts disguised as poor, unfortunate accidents 

**Jongho: **For all we know THIS could all be part of his plan 

**Jongho: **That’s what YOU should be saying Yeosang 

**Sangie: **Aren't you being a little paranoid?

**Jongho: **….and that’s what I should be saying 

**Hwa: **He’s right, you've changed your tune Yeosang 

**Jongho: **Not to be Yeosang...again 

**Jongho: **But for all we know he could be lying in wait, lurking in some dark corner and biding his time like the snake that he is 

**Jongho: **Lulling us into a false sense of security so that we let down our guard before going after a newly vulnerable Wooyoung in some sort of nefarious, evil sneak attack that we won't see coming

**Sangie: **…..nah 

**Sangie: **Sounds like too much effort even for that demon spawn 

**Jongho: **Nothing is too much effort for evil 

**Jongho: **….seriously, did someone hex me and Yeosang so that we switched? 

**Jongho: **I hate it when he’s the voice of reason 

**Woo: **That makes two of us 

**Hwa: **Not to toot my own horn but I can be quite scary and intimidating when I want to be

**Hwa: **And I think I did an excellent job this time 

**Hwa: **Choi San and his blessed absence is proof of that

**Hwa: **A few threats from me-

**Sangie: **That bitchy, sneering face you do

**Hwa: **and he ran away like a little baby to go and mess with someone else

**Hwa: **Leaving my little Wooyoungie to live in peace once more 

**Hwa: **Wait, hey! My face isn’t bitchy! 

**Woo: **Your face is handsome hyung but...a little cold if people don’t know you 

**Sangie: **and don’t know what an idiot you can be 

**Hwa: **When will I be shown the respect due to me as your hyung? 

**Sangie: **When you stop acting baby 

**Jongho: **That’s precisely why hyung isn’t intimidating 

**Hwa: **Look Jongho, I intimidated the SHIT out of him 

**Hwa: **He looked like he was going to piss his pants 

**Hwa: **Ask Changkyun, he’ll confirm 

**Hwa: **Choi San was PLENTY intimidated by me 

**Hwa: **I told him not to fuck with me and he made the smart decision 

**Sangie: **Look at that Jongho, you made hyung resort to cursing 

**Jongho: **But- 

**Sangie: **We got what we wanted Jongho

**Sangie: **There’s been no asshole sightings in days 

**Sangie: **Crisis averted 

**Sangie: **Code Red is cancelled 

**Sangie: **We stared evil in the face and it turns out that evil is a pussy 

**Sangie: **Choi San ran away scared and now we don’t have to think about him anymore 

**Sangie: **We can relax 

**Sangie: **Why complain about it? Why look for problems that aren’t there? 

**Jongho: **Because it’s SUSPICIOUS 

**Jongho: **I’m telling you, he’s luring us into a false sense of security 

**Jongho: **What is wrong with you Yeosang? Did he get to you? 

**Jongho: **Oh Merlin 

**Jongho: **WOOYOUNG HYUNG 

**Jongho: **CHOI SAN’S DONE SOMETHING TO HWA HYUNG AND SANGIE 

**Jongho: **GET THE POTION’S INGREDIENTS 

**Jongho: **GET THE SPELL BOOKS 

**Jongho: **THIS IS AN EMERGENCY

**Woo:** Jongho...it’s okay 

**Woo: **I appreciate your concern but the others are right 

**Woo: **It’s like Sangie said earlier, he probably just got bored because you guys made it impossible for him to do...whatever it was he was planning 

**Woo: **You all either scared him off or just made his plan a lot harder 

**Woo: **It probably took the fun out 

**Woo: **What’s the point if he can’t even get near me to do anything to me? 

**Woo: **I bet he’s already found someone else to mess with 

**Woo: **You don’t need to overthink it 

**Sangie: **I can’t believe I’m typing these words 

**Sangie: **This is simultaneously horrifying and groundbreaking 

**Sangie: **But...I haven’t even heard of him doing anything evil lately 

**Hwa: **He’s probably taking a vacation to mourn the failure of his evil little plan 

**Sangie: **Nah, we got him so good hyung that he can’t even show his face 

**Sangie: **We said not today Satan, not T O D A Y and now he’s running scared 

**Hwa: **He might never show his face again

**Hwa: **I didn’t meant to scare him that badly but-

**Sangie: **I told you, we made Satan our bitch 

**Sangie: **Own it, hyung 

**Sangie: **SAN, we made SAN our bitch dammit autocorrect 

**Hwa: **Yeosang’s right, we should celebrate! 

**Hwa: **We kept Wooyoung safe and now San won’t bother him again 

**Hwa: **We should go to one of those muggle bars you’re always trying to drag me too! 

**Jongho: **I can’t believe you two 

**Jongho: **Look at yourselves 

**Jongho: **One minute you’re fighting over who’s the leader of the Wooyoung Protection Squad 

**Jongho: **Glued to his side and suspicious of EVERYTHING 

**Jongho: **And look at you now 

**Jongho: **Falling for such a basic, amateur tactic 

**Jongho: **I’m telling you, he’s lying in wait 

**Jongho: **Lurking unseen in the shadows 

**Jongho: **Plotting Woo hyung’s demise 

**Jongho:** and when he gets him in his evil clutches 

**Jongho: **Fuck being the bigger person 

**Jongho: **I WILL say I told you so with all the righteous indignation I can muster 

**Sangie: **…..that’s enough Netflix for you Jongie 

**Sangie: **There IS such a thing as too much true crime. 

** _WooHo_ **

**Jongho: **KVKNSKNSJFBS

**Jongho: **HYUNG 

**Jongho: **MAYDAY 

**Jongho: **SOS 

**Jongho: **MAN DOWN 

**Woo: **….Jongho 

**Jongho: **HYUNG HE CALLED ME JONGIE 

**Jongho: **J O N G I E 

**Woo: **I can see that 

**Woo: **He also implied you’ve watched too much Mindhunter or whatever 

**Woo: **and it’s made you paranoid 

**Jongho: **KFBSBFSBFHBHFS HELP 

**Woo: **Breathe, Jongho 

**Woo: **Breathe so you can live to see him do it again 

**Jongho: **AGAIN?! 

**Jongho: **I can’t 

**Jongho: **I’m fucking ascending 

**Woo: **….okaaaay then 

**Woo: **Good luck with that 

**Jongho: **help me hyung 

**Jongho: **Please 

**Jongho: **I can’t take it anymore 

**Woo: **Look Jongho

**Woo: **Just tell him how you feel 

**Jongho: **Oh no 

**Jongho: **Don’t like that 

**Jongho: **….any other ideas? 

**Jongho: **You know, one’s that don’t involve my humiliation 

**Jongho: **and the loss of one of my best friends? 

**Jongho: **Something more...lowkey? 

**Woo: **Ooooh you mean like continuing to pine from a distance 

**Woo: **and suffering in silence? 

**Jongho: **….I like that plan 

**Jongho:** That is a good, SOLID plan

**Jongho: **10/10 would recommend 

**Woo: **That’s L I T E R A L L Y what you’re doing right now?! 

**Jongho: **…..suddenly I can’t read 

**Woo: **How’s it working out for you Jongho? 

**Jongho: **I mean...admittedly not great but it’s not entirely terrible either 

**Woo: **Oh really? 

**Woo: **Let’s not forget the mental breakdown every time he calls you ‘Jongie’ or accidentally brushes your arm

**Woo: **or the way your face gets hot enough to fry an egg on whenever he ruffles your hair

**Woo: **and when he looks at you for longer than three seconds 

**Jongho: **OBJECTION 

**Jongho: **That is a GROSS exaggeration 

**Woo: **Is it Jongho? Is it really? 

**Jongho: **….maybe I’m just shy 

**Woo: **Wow 

**Woo: **Okay 

**Woo: **What about this then, you and I both know that when he called Hwa hyung hot you were going T H R O U G H it 

**Woo: **Tf are you going to do when he actually starts dating someone? 

**Jongho: **…..suffer? 

**Woo: **JONGHO 

**Woo: **That’s it 

**Woo: **I give up! 

**Woo: **I can’t help you if you don’t want to be helped 

**Jongho: **It’s just...it’s scary hyung 

**Woo: **I know, but if you don’t take that step then it’s just going to be an endless cycle of suffering and you’ll never be happy 

**Jongho: **I know...but….

**Jongho: **….can’t we reassess the situation in like...a week? 

**Woo: **Will you be any less of a baby about it then? 

**Jongho: **There’s like….a 0.05% chance? 

**Jongho:** Idk hyung, miracles happen

**Jongho: **Once in a while 

**Woo: **....have you been watching The Princess Diaries and crying in to your Haagen Daz again? 

**Jongho: **Would you believe me if I said no? 

**Woo: **I swear, how can someone who’s so ready to throw down with San and his friends be this much of a coward?! 

**Jongho: **Oh, speaking of San- 

**Woo: **Very subtle Jongho 

**Woo: **But i’ll allow it because I’m not in the mood to talk in circles today 

**Woo: **What about San? 

**Jongho: **Just an observation 

**Woo: **Go on….? 

**Jongho: **You didn’t seem like your usual self hyung 

**Jongho: **Do I detect a hint of...sad Wooyoungie? 

**Woo: **You didn’t detect shit 

**Woo: **Go back to fanboying over Sangie

**Jongho: **I see how it is 

**Jongho: **I’M WATCHING YOU HYUNG 

** _Wooyoung Protection Squad_ **

**Hwa: **So what do you say?

**Sangie: **I'm in!

**Sangie: **I deserve a night out after risking life and limb to protect my beloved best friend

**Sangie: **I even EXERCISED for him

**Sangie: **S W E A T E D for him 

**Sangie: **That’s true love right there 

**Hwa: **….right 

**Sangie: **Woo? 

**Sangie: **Hello? 

**Sangie: **Are you listening? 

**Sangie: **WOOYOUNG 

**Sangie: **PRAISE ME BITCH 

**Woo: **Sorry Sangie, I had to uh...water my succulents? 

**Sangie: **….you don’t have any succulents 

**Woo: **Did I say MY succulents? 

**Woo: **I meant Hwa hyung’s 

**Hwa: **Wooyoungie, I love you 

**Hwa: **But if you drown my plant children I will not hesitate 

**Woo: **Hyung, I’m a Herbology major 

**Woo: **I can water a couple of succulents without killing them 

**Jongho: **So we finally found the one thing Hwa hyung loves more than Wooyoung 

**Jongho: **How does it feel huh? 

**Sangie: **and where did YOU go? 

**Jongho: **Oh uh, I had to water my- 

**Sangie: **Save it 

**Sangie: **I can only listen to so much bullshit in one day and I just reached my quota 

**Sangie: **Just know that I see you and I’m suspicious 

**Woo: **So...what were we talking about? 

**Sangie: **Celebrating 

**Sangie: **and initiating hyung into the world of muggle drinking 

**Sangie: **Are you in or out? 

**Jongho: **Well I kinda had this thing- 

**Woo: **Oh, you did? 

**Jongho: **YES 

**Jongho: **A thing that is VERY real and not AT ALL made up 

**Jongho: **I’ll have to do some hardcore rearranging but...

**Jongho: **I guess I'll go 

**Woo: **Of course you will Jongie ~

**Jongho: **HYUNG 

**Jongho: **Not now 

**Jongho: **I’m still fragile 

**Hwa: **I don’t want to know 

**Hwa: **Woo? Are you coming?

**Hwa: **We can invite Yeonjun if you want?

**Hwa: **You're friends with him now right? 

**Sangie: **You have never sounded more like his mother 

**Jongho: **Wrong 

**Jongho: **There was the time he kept fussing at him to button up his coat and take his gloves so his widdle fingers didn’t get all frostbitten and oh Wooyoungie don’t forget your hat or your widdle ears will get cold~ 

**Hwa: **For the sake of my blood pressure 

**Hwa: **I’m ignoring you both

**Hwa: **Wooyoung? 

**Woo: **I mean...sort of

**Woo: **We say hi when we bump into each other and chat sometimes but I wouldn’t really call us friends 

**Sangie: **Good. He better stay in his lane 

**Sangie: **I’m the only one truly qualified to be your best friend! 

**Woo: **Don't worry Sangie, no-one can take your place

**Sangie: **That's right bitches, remember that 

**Sangie: **I’m looking at YOU Hwa hyung 

**Hwa: ***sigh* 

**Hwa: **Are you coming Wooyoungie?

**Woo: **I’m sorry hyung 

**Woo: **I just don't really feel like it

**Sangie: **Oh Merlin, here we go

**Hwa: **Why?

**Hwa: **What's the matter?

**Hwa: **Are you okay?

**Hwa: **ARE YOU SICK?!

**Woo: **I'm fine hyung!

**Woo: **I'm not sick or hurt or anything

**Woo: **I'm just…not really in the mood to go out

**Jongho: **I wonder why that is~

**Sangie: **What’s that supposed to mean? 

**Hwa: **Tell me what you know right now Jongho

**Hwa: **If Wooyoungie’s sick- 

**Jongho: **Oh, he’s not that kind of sick 

**Woo: **JONGHO 

**Jongho: **Sweet vengeance is mine 

**Hwa: **Woo?

**Hwa: **What is it?

**Sangie: **…..sus 

**Sangie: **My best friend senses are tingling. 

**Woo: **…….

**Jongho: **Where did they go? 

**Hwa: **Yeosang? Wooyoung?

**Jongho: **You can't just LEAVE us here!

_ **Hehet ** _

**Sangie: **Woo?

**Sangie: **What's wrong?

**Sangie: **And don’t say nothing because I know that’s a load of shit 

**Woo: **It really is nothing Sangie 

**Woo: **I’m just not in the mood to go out 

**Woo: **I’d rather just….stay here 

**Woo: **I don’t even like bars and I don’t have money to waste on stupidly overpriced drinks anyway

**Sangie: **You know Hwa will cover you 

**Sangie: **He's like…RICH rich 

**Sangie: **And you always have a good time with us 

**Woo: **I guess 

**Woo: **I just feel bad making him spend his money on me Sangie 

**Woo: **Especially for something so stupid 

**Sangie: **Woo, you know he doesn't mind 

**Sangie: **He loves throwing money at us 

**Sangie: **I’d be offended if I didn’t enjoy it so much 

**Woo: **I know but-

**Sangie: **At least he's spending it on us and not on drugs

**Sangie: **We're much more in need than some shady, failed Wizard turned magical drug dealer

**Sangie: **Sugar daddy Hwa always comes through

**Woo: **Please

**Woo: **I’m begging you Sangie 

**Woo: **Don't ever call him that again 

**Sangie: **Yeah….that sounded better in my head 

**Sangie: **Look, my point is Seonghwa doesn't mind sharing his ridiculously hefty bank account around, okay?

**Sangie: **Letting him buy us a few drinks isn’t going to bankrupt him 

**Sangie: **It’ll probably barely make a dent 

**Sangie: **and he seems so determined to do it...who are we to argue with him? 

**Sangie: **You don't need to feel bad, Woo 

**Sangie: **He wouldn't offer otherwise

**Sangie: **And he won't think any less of you either 

**Woo: **You’re right, I know you’re right 

**Woo: **And normally I’d let you persuade me and drag me out 

**Woo: **I just...I’m just not in the mood Sangie 

**Woo: **I just want to stay here and maybe eat some junk food and watch something cheesy 

**Woo: **and maybe go and check on my plants 

**Woo: **That’s all it is, I swear 

**Sangie: **Wooyoung

**Sangie: **I regret to inform you that...my left kneecap is tingling 

**Woo: **Okay….and? 

**Woo: **Should we finally get it looked at, or? 

**Sangie: **No. 

**Sangie: **Do you know what it means, Woo?

**Woo: **That it's about to rain?

**Sangie: **….N O 

**Sangie: **It means you're lying to me

**Woo: **Your left knee cap…is telling you that I'm lying?

**Sangie: **My left kneecap tells me all kinds of shit 

**Sangie: **It’s practically an oracle of all things shady 

**Sangie: **and it’s never let me down yet

**Woo: **Sangie, no 

**Woo: **What it’s actually telling you is that next time you think you stand a chance against the Whomping Willow...you should check yourself before you wreck yourself. 

**Sangie: **That's unusually savage of you Wooyoungie

**Sangie: **I'm so proud

**Sangie: **I’m also absolutely shook that you’re a fucking Wizard, Wooyoungie, and yet you draw the line at my kneecap having magical, future telling properties. 

**Sangie: **But that isn’t the issue here 

**Woo: **...it’s not? 

**Sangie: **No

**Sangie: **Now be honest 

**Sangie: **Are you…disappointed about San?

**Woo: **What? No.

**Sangie: **and there's that period again 

**Woo: **Why would I be disappointed? 

**Woo: **You all went to so much trouble to keep him away and look out for me 

**Woo: **And he was such a...such a menace 

**Woo: **and he was ALWAYS there-

**Sangie: **Wooyoung…

**Woo: **Yeosang I’m not disappointed 

**Woo: **I’m really not 

**Woo: **We all knew he didn't have any real interest in me

**Woo: **We all knew he was just trying to mess with me to get back at me or whatever 

**Woo: **So how can I be disappointed? 

**Woo: **That's just…how it is 

**Woo: **Or should it be was? 

**Sangie: **Right, okay 

**Sangie: **So...you’re not bailing out of our celebration to slink off and spend time in your greenhouse with all your little plant friends and away from YOUR real friends because San, the guy you thought was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen

**Sangie: **Which is false btw, because hello 

**Sangie: **I’m right here and bitch I’m fucking stunning 

**Sangie: **So really he’s only the SECOND most beautiful boy you’ve ever seen-

**Woo: **I said prettiest, not most beautiful….

**Sangie: **Tomayto tomahto 

**Sangie: **Can I continue? 

**Woo: **I guess...proceed 

**Sangie: **Thank you 

**Sangie: **Where was I? 

**Sangie: **Oh right 

**Sangie: **The most beautiful man you’d ever seen AND who you were screeching about being your SOULMATE-

**Sangie: **Which again...false 

**Sangie: **You deserve so much better and clearly I am your one, true soulmate 

**Sangie: **The shit I put up with for you-

**Woo: **I love you too Sangie 

**Woo: **Are you done? 

**Sangie: **No, let me finish 

**Woo: **Please get on with it then 

**Sangie: **So BECAUSE this beautiful, soulmate man turned out to be Satan incarnate, implacably evil and THEN it turned out that his sudden interest and undivided attention in you was ACTUALLY because of his mean-spirited and nefarious purposes instead of the flirty and fun, impending happily ever after kind of thing you thought it was, you’re REALLY trying to tell me you aren’t slinking off to mope and listen to sad songs while tending your little plantlings? Hmmmmmm? 

**Woo: **Well when you put it like that… 

**Sangie: **It all becomes clear and now you’ll stop lying to me so I can tell you ONCE AGAIN that you deserve SO much-

**Woo: **No, when you put it like that it just makes me feel even shittier than I did before 

**Sangie: **Truth hurts 

**Sangie: **But it’s necessary to overcome it 

**Woo: **Sangie...I just want to spend some time with my plants 

**Sangie: **That’s a really funny way to spell ‘moping over San and crying over what could have been if he wasn’t a raging asshole’ 

**Woo: **I’ve been neglecting them 

**Sangie: **No Woo, no you haven’t 

**Sangie: **Those plants, creepy as some of them are, are basically your children

**Sangie: **and you, Wooyoungie, are not a neglectful parent 

**Sangie: **You take better care of them than you do yourself half the time 

**Sangie: **AND you and I both know where you always sneak off too every damn day 

**Sangie: **So try again

**Sangie: **Final answer before I unleash Jongho on you for some REAL answers 

**Sangie: **and then Hwa hyung’s feelings will get hurt because he thinks he really did something and he’ll be upset that he just upset you 

**Sangie: **and we all know how he gets when his feelings are hurt 

**Woo: **I- 

**Sangie: **There will be tears 

**Sangie: **From Hwa hyung, and then from you when you start crying because he’s crying 

**Woo: **I really just- 

**Sangie: **Then there’ll be the moping 

**Sangie: **and the heartfelt sighs 

**Woo: **Sangie, I-

**Sangie: **And please, let’s not forget the endless self doubt 

**Woo: **Fine 

**Woo: **I just want to go to my happy place, Yeosang 

**Sangie: **Hwa's letting us out of our 'quality time' together that loosely masquerades as some sort of fucked up study boot camp and you want to spend it in your greenhouse

**Woo: **….yes

**Sangie: **All alone

**Woo: **Correct

**Sangie: **Whispering all your woes to foliage? 

**Woo: **That..may be accurate 

**Sangie: **More specifically, lamenting to your leafy children that the pretty lord of evil isn't actually interested in you and just wanted to humiliate you when you'd been hoping that he might actually, genuinely like you and have suddenly had a personality transplant perhaps because of your adorableness alone AND that you'd finally found your soul mate or whatever you think he was? 

**Woo: **Right-

**Woo: **NO

**Woo: **Yeosang that’s just...no. 

**Sangie: **Woo, we agreed not to lie, remember? 

**Woo: **I'm just…I'm growing a new plant

**Sangie: **Oh really? 

**Sangie: **You didn’t mention it 

**Sangie: **And you always inform me in EXCRUCIATING detail whenever you get or grow a new child. 

**Sangie: **As God-parent, some might argue CO-parent, I am...wounded, Wooyoungie 

**Woo: **I’m sorry Sangie- 

**Sangie: **So, what one is it?

**Woo: **It's a…uh…

**Sangie: **A what? 

**Sangie: **A ‘Pining for Evil’ vine? ‘Caught the Feels for Lucifer’s Spawn’ ivy? Or maybe ‘Weeping for Satan’s Slytherin’ wisteria? 

**Woo: **Yeosang!

**Sangie: **Wait wait wait

**Sangie: **I’ve got one more! 

**Sangie: **Or maybe it’s….Snared by the Devil? 

**Sangie: **GET IT?! 

**Woo: **Yeosang. 

**Sangie: **What? 

**Sangie: **Did I lie?

**Sangie: **Look Woo, I get it

**Woo: **No 

**Woo: **No Yeosang, you don't

**Woo: **Because you’re...you and you don’t have this problem 

**Woo: **You never have this problem 

**Woo: **Just once, I thought someone finally LIKED me Yeosang

**Woo: **and they weren’t pretending to get to you or Hwa hyung 

**Woo: **I thought...I thought he actually liked me 

**Woo: **I know he turned out to be….not a very nice person

**Sangie: **That’s a gross understatement 

**Woo: **But I really thought I could finally have someone to cuddle with and holds hands with and-

**Sangie: **Excuse you, I do ALL of that with you 

**Woo: **It’s not the same Sangie 

**Sangie: **I know, I just...

**Sangie: **Wooyoung, you're my best friend 

**Sangie: **My platonic soulmate 

**Sangie: **I'd do anything for you to be happy, you know that 

**Sangie: **Choi San? He won’t make you happy 

**Woo: **...I know. Deep down, I know that 

**Woo: **Waaaaaaaay deep down 

**Woo: **Buried under all the disappointment 

**Woo: **I just thought that I’d found someone who liked me for me

**Sangie: **I know Woo-

**Woo: **I really thought I’d found someone who could...love me 

**Sangie: **I love you Woo 

**Sangie: **So do Hwa hyung and Jongho 

**Woo: **It’s not the sa- 

**Sangie: **Yeah, I know it’s not 

**Sangie: **But please don’t talk like you’re unloveable because you aren’t 

**Sangie: **You’re so fucking loveable hyung let’s you get away with all kinds of shit 

**Sangie: **If I tried to crawl into his lap for a cuddle he’d dump me on the floor

**Sangie: **But oh no, not his precious Wooyoungie 

**Sangie: **He’s just got to pull you closer and snuggle

**Sangie: **It’s sickening 

**Woo: **I just...I feel that way sometimes Sangie 

**Woo: **It’s always you and Hwa hyung and no-one ever looks at me 

**Woo: **I’m always...alone 

**Woo: **And I feel like I always will be 

**Woo: **I know it’s the stupidest problem but-

**Sangie: **Woo, it’s okay 

**Sangie: **I get it, look, I’ll find you the prettiest boy in the school 

**Sangie: **One who isn’t the worst ‘human’ to walk the planet 

**Sangie: **Because you’re my best friend and I love you and you deserve SO much better than Choi fucking San. 

**Woo: **I’m just...I’m so stupid 

**Sangie: **No, you’re not 

**Sangie: **Don’t say that 

**Sangie: **Where are you? 

**Woo: **I’m at the dorm, I’m just leaving to go to the greenhouse 

**Sangie: **I’ll be there in two minutes DO NOT leave without me

**Sangie: **I’ll help you water all your leafy babies and you can tell me all about whichever new plant you’ve been coddling all week and I won’t even sigh, roll my eyes OR complain 

**Woo: **You’ve never complained before...not to me anyway, I know you kinda do with Hwa and Jongho but- 

**Sangie: **Oh I have Woo, I have 

**Sangie: **In my head 

**Sangie: **Because you’re a precious little sunshine with those puppy eyes whenever you’re talking about the plants and I’m not a total monster, okay? 

**Woo: **….right 

**Sangie: **Anyway, we’ll make a list of all the eligible, pretty, and not heinously evil boys that we can set you up with 

**Sangie: **Think of it as a hot boy wish list 

**Sangie: **And I’m Sangie Claus 

**Woo: **Yeosang…

**Sangie: **I know, I know 

**Sangie: **I'm the best friend you could ever ask for and you love me so much and could never ever replace me because no other bitch comes close 

**Sangie: **Please Woo 

**Sangie: **don't get emotional, I hate it when you leak all over me

**Woo: **No you don't

**Woo: **You always hug me extra tight and last time you even wiped my tears with your-

**Sangie: **WE PROMISED NEVER TO SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN

**Sangie: **I have a reputation to uphold

**Woo: **Sure Sangie

_ **Wooyoung Protection Squad** _

**Hwa: **GET BACK HERE

**Sangie: **There's no need to shout hyung

**Hwa: **Where did you go?!

**Sangie: **Nowhere, I just got distracted by a very handsome boy

**Jongho: **WHAT?! WHO!?

**Sangie: **Me

**Jongho: **….understandable

**Sangie: **What?

**Jongho: **What?!

**Hwa: **For the love of-

**Hwa: **Wooyoungie? Save me please 

**Woo: **I'm here hyung

**Woo: **I'm really sorry but I'm just...I’m gonna spend the evening in my greenhouse

**Woo: **If that’s okay?

**Sangie: **He's got some new plant that needs all his care and attention apparently 

**Sangie: **As if it'd die without him for ONE day

**Woo: **Actually it probably would depending on wh-

**Sangie: **ANYWAY

**Sangie: **Boring plant dad duties so...we're out

**Jongho: **That’s a valid excuse for Woo hyung, sad...but valid

**Jongho: **But why can't YOU come?

**Sangie: **Because I'm cool uncle Sangie

**Sangie: **I'm sure the children miss me

**Hwa: **You're talking about plants, Yeosang

**Hwa: **P L A N T S 

**Sangie: **And?

**Sangie: **Plants have feelings too hyung

**Sangie: **Remember that next time you try and use one as a weapon against-OH

**Jongho:** ?????

**Hwa: **What is it? 

**Hwa: **Did you realise that sentence also applies to you or? 

**Jongho: **Is it San?! 

**Jongho: **I TOLD YOU ALL 

**Sangie: **You just jumped to conclusions faster than Hongjoong appears out of nowhere whenever someone tries to flirt with Hwa hyung 

**Jongho: **YOU CAN’T JUST CUT OFF MID SENTENCE ALL ‘oh’ AND THEN GO SILENT 

**Jongho: **It’s CONCERNING 

**Hwa: **Is it? 

**Hwa: **It’s only Yeosang, Wooyoungie on the other hand...

**Jongho: **You don’t need to make your favourite child so obvious, hyung 

**Hwa: **All I mean is that Sangie probably just got distracted by someone with food and walked into a wall aga-

**Sangie: **NO 

**Sangie: **It’s not San and it was ONE TIME HYUNG 

**Sangie: **And it was the best looking bowl of ramen I have ever seen in my entire existence 

**Hwa: **Ramen? I thought it was the fried-

**Sangie: **HYUNG PLEASE 

**Jongho: **Yeah hyung, that’s his like...9th greatest shame 

**Sangie: **Do you want to know what happened or not? 

**Hwa: **No 

**Jongho: **Of course 

**Sangie: **It involves Wooyoungie ~ 

**Hwa: **Suddenly I care, continue 

**Sangie: **I hate you too hyung 

**Sangie: **But anyway, I was trying to catch up to Woo because Greenhouse Buddies 

**Sangie: **And what do I see with my own two eyes? 

**Hwa: **We don't know because we're NOT THERE and you’re NOT GETTING TO THE POINT

**Hwa: **smh you always leave me out

**Hwa: **I'd be a much more responsible plant uncle than Yeosang

**Hwa: **At least I understand plants need to be watered to live 

**Hwa: **I take care of my succulents just fine, have any died in my care? Of course not 

**Hwa: **But no, he picks Yeosang to be the cool plant uncle

**Hwa: **Yeosang who managed to MURDER a cactus 

**Sangie: **Can you even murder a cactus though? 

**Sangie: **Maybe it was doing it’s own version of plant hibernating or meditation 

**Hwa: **….it was shrivelled and brown 

**Hwa: **You KILLED it 

**Sangie: **Why are you so pressed, it wasn’t your cactus 

**Hwa: **Because I’m CLEARLY the more responsible when it comes to plants so I don’t know why Wooyoungie didn’t want me to be plant uncle-

**Jongho: **This really isn’t important right now hyung

**Jongho: **Wtf is going on Yeosang? 

**Sangie: **Oh, that

**Sangie: **It looks like Wooyoung has an admirer ~

**Jongho: **ffs not again

**Jongho: **We only just got rid of the last one-

**Sangie: **Oh, don’t worry, we won't need to get rid of this one

**Hwa: **I'll be the judge of that

**Hwa: **Who is it?

**Sangie: **Yeonjun~

**Hwa: **Yeonjun? Slytherin Yeonjun?

**Jongho: **Sounded the alarm about San trying to poison Wooyoung and ruining perfectly good tteokbokki Yeonjun!? 

**Sangie: **Yep, that's the one

**Sangie: **They seem to be getting on quite well

**Hwa: **...are you lurking in the shadows and watching them like a creeper?

**Sangie: **….possibly 

**Sangie: **They're…kind of cute, ngl 

**Hwa: **I SAID I WILL BE THE JUDGE OF THAT

**Jongho:** Hyung, I don’t think he’s that bad 

**Jongho: **He seems like a pretty nice guy from what I’ve seen of him 

**Hwa: **I don't know if I like a Slytherin for my Wooyoungie

**Hwa: **None of them can be trusted-

**Jongho: **What happened to 'it's not nice to stereotype Jongho' and 'not all Slytherins Jongho'?

**Sangie: **Wooyoung happened

**Sangie: **Protective mother mode has been activated

**Sangie: **Hide your plantlings, hide your potential suitors 

**Hwa: **Please, as if you aren't sizing him up right now too Yeosang 

**Hwa: **Judging him from the shadows like that bat person you tried to show me and preparing some ridiculous plan to scare him off 

**Sangie: **False! 

**Sangie: **I’m also preparing a backup plan...and a backup plan for the backup plan 

**Hwa: **I bet you’re even adding to your little list of weird but oddly inventive threats in case none of those plans work 

**Jongho: **This is why Wooyoung's going to be permanently single for the rest of his life 

**Jongho: **It’s some sort of cruel and unusual punishment for having the misfortune to befriend you two 

**Jongho: **I genuinely feel sorry for him 

**Sangie: **tf you mean you feel sorry for him!?

**Hwa: **Just because we CARE

**Sangie: **and we don’t want him to get HURT and HEARTBROKEN 

**Jongho: **You're like over protective parents who also work for the Inquisition and have trouble separating home and work life 

**Jongho: **He really doesn't stand a chance

**Jongho: **RIP to Wooyoung’s dating life and all his dreams of finding his soulmate 

**Jongho: **Gone way too fucking soon 

**Hwa: **LANGUAGE 

**Sangie: **That’s all you got from that hyung? 

**Sangie: **Whatever, I'm going to go and save him 

**Jongho: **I thought you were happy about this development

**Jongho: **Or was this entire conversation a waking nightmare? 

**Sangie: **Oh, I was 

**Sangie: **I was ECSTATIC 

**Sangie: **Right up until I realised he’d decided resembling a highlighter was a good look for him 

**Hwa: **OH, he’s the Yeonjun with the neon yellow hair?! 

**Jongho: **We already established which Yeonjun hyung, try to keep up 

**Jongho: **But still...big yikes 

**Hwa: **I will not hesitate to give you a time out Jongho 

**Sangie: **and there’s the smiling

**Jongho: **You don't like him…because he's smiling? 

**Sangie: **It's creepy

**Jongho: **He's literally just smiling...at Woo, presumably 

**Sangie: **Exactly Jongho, exactly 

**Jongho: **tf you mean ‘exactly’?! 

**Hwa: **It's suspicious

**Jongho: **Not you too, hyung 

**Hwa: **Wooyoungie deserves better than some neon haired Slytherin leering at him Jongho! 

**Jongho: **‘leering’?! But he’s just SMILING 

**Sangie: **and he’s freakishly tall 

**Jongho: **I give up, I really give up

**Jongho: **I'm so sorry Wooyoung hyung

Wooyoung smiled up at Yeonjun as they made small talk. The Slytherin was friendly enough towards him and ever since that day in the Dining Hall, he’d been nothing but nice to him and had even made a point to check up on him afterwards. Now, Yeonjun always had a smile for Wooyoung, a kind greeting here or there or a friendly wave. He even had an interest in plants himself and it seemed like he always had a question that only Wooyoung was capable of answering, which Wooyoung had no problem with. He was more than happy to talk about his favourite subject to an eager audience, particularly one that seemed genuinely fascinated and eager to learn more from him. It made him feel...smart and maybe even a little wanted. 

_ Yeonjun’s tall, really tall and he’s just as good looking as Choi San. _

Wooyoung thought absent-mindedly as he watched the Slytherin’s animated response to his previous comment. 

_ And as far as I’m aware, he isn’t a bad person either. No-one ever seems to have anything bad to say about Yeonjun, not like San. Not that I’ve heard of anyway. Everyone seems to like him well enough, unless he’s just...secretly mean? Maybe he kicks puppies when no-one’s looking or curses people when they can’t hear him? Or...or maybe he just isn’t as bad, as evil, as San is. I’ve not heard of Yeonjun bullying anyone or making their lives a living hell but that doesn’t mean he isn’t an asshole too. But...no. It’s not fair of me to stereotype every Slytherin as being like San. Nice one’s do exist! I know they do...and Yeonjun’s one of them I guess. Maybe...maybe it wouldn’t be too bad to be friends with him? _

Wooyoung mused as he let his gaze wander over Yeonjun’s face. But as pretty as the other boy was, Wooyoung didn’t find himself falling into a daydream about him, or blushing when he caught his eye. Not like with Sa-_ no. Oh no. You’re stupid Wooyoung and you’ve done many, many stupid things in your life. Like when Yeosang convinced you to play with Devil’s Snare because ‘a real Herbologist would do it for research purposes’ as if textbooks don’t exist. Or the time when he convinced me to dive into the Great Lake because ‘the giant squid’s probably lonely and needs some company’ and I felt bad for it because it was winter and no-one wanted to hang out at the Lake whenever it came up to the shallows, but we nearly got drowned by Grindylows until some very angry merpeople saved us and we got detention for a month. Or the time he convinced me to go exploring in the Forbidden Forest to look for ‘unidentified flora and fauna’ so that I could get an O in that Herbology project in sixth year and ‘show that bitch Lee Felix who’s the REAL King of Herbology’ and we spent half the night being chased by wolves and then the other half being chased by Acromantula’s and Seonghwa was so angry that he stopped functioning for a full five minutes AND we got detention for THREE months. _

_ Despite all of that, even you aren’t that stupid Wooyoung. That’s a sentence that won’t ever be finished. It can’t be, not now. Because San is a terrible person who’s done terrible things and it doesn’t matter what I think of him...or how he’s been treating me recently. It doesn’t erase everything bad that he’s done and magically make it okay. I just...I need to get over San. Which should be a little easier now that he’s just...disappeared. Also known as losing interest in me because I’m...me. It’s not like this hasn’t happened before and I’ve gotten over it every single time. It shouldn’t be that hard to do it again. _

If anything, Wooyoung simply hoped that he could perhaps make a new friend in Yeonjun at the very least. One that appreciated his incessant talk of plants and Herbology and was more than willing to entertain his little monologues on this flower or that vine. Not that his friends would ever discourage him, they always endured much the same thing and despite his seeming grudgingness and prickly attitude about it, Yeosang more often than not accompanied him to the Greenhouse and took care of Wooyoung’s precious plants when he himself couldn’t. It was just that there was a certain level of teasing when it came to them and they were never this rapt when he was gushing about his latest find. They never asked too many questions, other than to encourage him a little here and there and they never discussed the latest developments in Herbology with him. Mostly because their interests lay elsewhere and they didn’t actually know about them, it wasn’t their fault at all and he didn’t love them any less it was just...nice to have an actual conversation about what he loved with someone who seemed equally as excited about the subject. 

Wooyoung suddenly felt an arm fling itself around his shoulders and pull him in close to a familiar side, engulfing him in a familiar and comforting scent. _ Yeosangie. _

“I’m not interrupting anything...am I?” Yeosang asked, wriggling his eyebrows although his tone suggested he didn’t particularly care if he was. He just wanted to tease Wooyoung a little. _ Oh for Merlin’s sake. _

“I was just telling Yeonjun all about the rare hybrid of Flitterbloom that I found! I’ve been cultivating it myself and I think it might be the prettiest-” Yeosang cut him off with a teasing groan. 

“You say that about _ every _one of your plant children, Woo” he said with a fond eye-roll. 

“It’s really interesting!” Yeonjun piped up and Yeosang fixed him with a look that Wooyoung knew well. The Stare. His friend’s beautiful features chilling to a cold, assessing mask. Wooyoung internally groaned. 

“Is it?” he asked cooly, raising one brow. 

“Sangie!” Wooyoung hissed, digging his friend in the ribs. “Don’t be rude” 

“It’s okay Woo!” Yeonjun jumped in.

"Woo?!" Yeosang choked. "The _audacity-_" 

“I’ve actually gotta run but I’ll see you around and maybe sometime you can show me the Flitterbloom!” Yeonjun suggested, ignoring Yeosang completely. Wooyoung thought for a moment, turning the suggestion over in his head before giving a determined nod. 

“Sure! Ba-bye!” Wooyoung waved with a beaming smile, Yeonjun returning it before sauntering off. 

“I’M WATCHING YOU CHOI!” Yeosang yelled after him. “YOU’LL SEE THAT FLITTERBLOOM OVER MY COLD, DEAD CORP-” 

“YEOSANG!” Wooyoung yelped, slamming a hand over his mouth. 

“I beht he doeshn’t even know wha a Flifflerbloom ish” Yeosang protested from behind Wooyoung’s hand. 

“He knows Herbology a lot better than _ you _do” Wooyoung pointed out, removing his hand. 

“To quote Seonghwa hyung...I’ll be the judge of that.” Yeosang said, darkly. 

“You’re not going to give him some weird Herbology exam to make sure Sangie, please. I...maybe I wouldn’t mind being friends with him.” Wooyoung mumbled timidly. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Yeosang blinked at him. 

“Well it’s just....maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be...friends with him. I’m not...I’m not quite over this crush...thing with San but I could be friends with Yeonjun-”

“This is the most despicable thing that demon has done” Yeosang hissed. 

“Pardon?” 

“Was this his plan all along? Hook you in with his sultry looks and his ‘Wooyoungieeee’ and then drop you so that you have to resort to being friends with a walking highlighter to get over your developing crush and move on?! It’s fucking downright despicable!” 

“SANGIE” Wooyoung hissed. 

“What? Look at him. Tell me his hair doesn’t light up the gloom and he doesn’t look like the wrong end of a highlighter? You’ve gone from Satan himself to actual walking stationary and it’s not even a good colour-” Wooyoung spluttered in response. “Pink I could forgive, blue I’d let slide, I could even forgive green because he’s one of those snakes, but _ yellow _?!” 

“I mean...from what you’ve said about San that doesn’t seem like the kind of plan he’d go for? It’s a bit too...tame? It’s not exactly arch-villain levels of evil Sangie” 

“Evil has no levels when it comes to Choi San, he’s a master of all. Perhaps he was just warming up.” Yeosang muttered, letting out a derisive snort. “Anyway, since when did you two become so...chatty?” 

“Oh, it was everything in the Dining Hall. He wanted to check and see if I was okay, pretty much everyone here knows San’s reputation.” Wooyoung answered, his voice quiet as he started to head in the direction of the Greenhouses. “It was quite sweet of him actually, he’s usually just a friendly face in the halls but now we just talk whenever we bump into each other, which seems to happen a lot lately.” 

“Interesting.” Yeosang drew the word out in a tone that implied the opposite. “And what do you talk about? His shocking taste in hair colour?” 

“No, Herbology mostly. He’s genuinely interested in my plants Sangie-” 

“Oh he’s interested in something alright and it’s not your plants-” 

“-unlike _ some _alleged friends I could mention….” Wooyoung trailed off playfully before registering Yeosang’s snarky comment. “What was that?!” 

“Nothing” Yeosang smiled at him angelically. “And hey, who babysits your plant babies when you’re cramming for exams? Or when you forget about an essay that’s due usually the next day and you don’t have time to take care of them because you have to spend all day and night poring over books? Or when you go to visit home on breaks and you can’t take all 8447 of them with you? Who’s here with you _ right now _to help you with them so it doesn’t take you all night and listen to you gush endlessly about those nasty little-” 

“Shhhh they’ll hear you! And they’re not nasty!” Wooyoung protested. 

“Woo, we’re not even close to the Greenhouses yet.” Yeosang pointed out. 

“Doesn’t matter, their roots extend to all kinds of places-” 

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, okay fine. _ Maybe _ not all of them are, but last time I went in there one of them _ leaked _on me!” 

“Well I told you not to poke it, it doesn’t like being poked! It’s _ very _sensitive and you have to handle it carefully-” 

“_ I’m _very sensitive!” Yeosang whined. Wooyoung just rolled his eyes and carried on heading towards the Greenhouses. “Wooyoungie! WOOYOUNGIEEEEEEE!” Yeosang yelled after him, rushing to catch up to him. 

As he and Yeosang made their way through the campus in companionable silence, Wooyoung revelled in the fading afternoon sunlight warming his skin and gilding everything with gold. It wasn’t long before they reached their destination, the panes of glass glinting in the fading light and Wooyoung picked up his pace. Excitedly hurrying to the door and unable to keep the smile from creeping across his face. 

“You know, you get far too excited about plants. Some of which could actually kill you, regardless of whether or not you ‘raised them since they were a sprout’ and made sure they didn’t die as they rightfully should have if they’re going to go around poisoning people or covering innocent wizards in pungent fluids-” 

“Pungent but harmless, and you know it was-” 

“That’s not the point! It ruined my favourite shirt” Yeosang pouted at him. 

“Well now you know how Mingi felt when you got him with that Lobalug venom” Wooyoung sniffed, primly as he pushed open the door to the main greenhouse and ventured inside. 

The Manyeo Jangso campus was home to four large greenhouses for the students to use during their studies, all of which were arranged into a perfect square that was tucked away not too far from the student dorms. The centre of said square provided a nice outdoor teaching area that was populated by leafy green trees decorated with bright, colourful blossoms, and there were plenty of grassy areas for the students to sit and listen to a lecture. Delicate wrought iron benches were placed here and there and a fountain occupied the center of the square, the water calmly burbling with an almost musical quality while curious green vines twined around it. There was almost as much foliage outside the greenhouses as inside, though the bushes and shrubs decorating the square were the mundane, muggle kind and not likely to try and pull you into its clutches for a closer look. 

Three of the greenhouses contained a variety of plants for the students to practice taking care of, nurture and to study and observe. They were purely for teaching purposes and they formed two sides of the square and its base. Each was rather uniform in look to the others. Rectangular buildings made up of hundreds of panes of glass, with ornate glass and iron doors to access them and a steepled roof. From the outside, it was clear to see the abundance of plants they contained, all arranged in rows and by type, though some were encroaching on the area of others. The plants of each greenhouse served a specific purpose, there was one for hazardous plants, ones that poisoned, hurt and could be used in potions for ill effect. There was one for the more harmless plants that could be used to heal, some of which were the antidotes to the more hazardous plants. The final greenhouse contained plants that could be used in either capacity. The plants that were harmless until mixed into a potion, the plants that could hurt but could also heal depending on the dosage. 

Spells coated the greenhouses, magic ensuring that each plant had its optimum temperature and climate no matter if it’s neighbour required the exact opposite. Little rain clouds even appeared for those plants that were used to a wetter climate and you could start at the top of the row feeling so warm that you needed to shed a layer or two, and end up so cold you wished you’d brought a thicker coat. It was wonderful, _ magical _and Wooyoung loved it. 

The fourth greenhouse was by far his favourite though. It made up the top of the square and was the largest of them all, ornate and magnificent to behold. Though it was rectangular like all the rest, it had two hexagonal rooms attached to either side of it with roofs that climbed up into a point in the middle. While the other greenhouses had high ceilings to allow for the intricate iron balcony ringing the inside of the entire structure and allowing access to the higher climbing plants, the main greenhouse’s ceiling sloped up to a similar second level, at which point the glass at the sides straightened out once again to allow for the balcony on the inside, before sloping up once again to eventually meet in a point along the top. 

Upon entering, Wooyoung was hit with a wall of humidity and warmth. This particular greenhouse housed a variety of different plants, ones of all types and used for many different purposes and was essentially the University’s fresh store of potion’s ingredients. The ones that were of the plant variety anyway. Any ingredient they could possibly need was most likely in this very greenhouse, the ones housed in the lesser greenhouses weren't as great in variety and were more numerous in number. There was usually a plant or two of each and all of them coexisted within the one building thanks to the magic system operating to ensure each plant’s optimum climate without detriment to the others. 

From over to his left, Wooyoung heard a tiny rumble of thunder accompanied by a miniscule flash of light and soon followed by the unmistakable sound of a downpour. Meanwhile, directly in front of him sunlight was beating down on plants that were evidently more used to a warmer, drier climate and not too far away little flakes of snow drifted down from miniature fat, grey clouds onto the plants below. Vines climbed up the curling metal staircase to his left that led up to an intricately designed iron viewing platform high above them, one of them wiggling a greeting to him. Unlike the other greenhouses whose plants were in more or less neat rows, this greenhouse was _ full _of plants and they burst out of every space. Small paths wound through the foliage, giving the impression of having walked into a dense jungle or forest, the multitude of different climates making it impossible to tell the location let alone the season once you stepped inside. 

Surrounded by plants of all colours and types, vines trailing up the staircase and sides and trees looming over everything, Wooyoung immediately felt at home. Relaxing for the first time all day as he found himself back in his element. From over to the right Wooyoung heard the unmistakable trickle of the little stream that wound its way tranquilly through the greenhouse and eventually fed into two different ponds. One located in the bottom left of the greenhouse, and the other in the top right. The calming sound immediately soothed him almost as much as the warmth and familiarity of the place. 

Far over to the left of the greenhouse, past the staircase, lay a door leading to the smaller, hexagonal greenhouse attached to the main greenhouse’s side. The seemingly delicate metal door was, much like the greenhouse containing the more hazardous plants, locked and only accessible by a teacher with a key and the right charms to unlock and unseal it, as it contained the most dangerous plants on the entire campus. The ones used for the darkest arts and the most horrifying potions, though not necessarily dangerous on their own, though there were plants inside that could poison you with one brush of a careless finger. Their presence on the campus was necessary to not only provide their students, the Herbology ones in particular, with a well rounded knowledge of all plants, including the ones to be treated with caution, but also should they ever be needed. Dangerous as they were, with the right measurements and additional ingredients, some of them could turn their harm into healing. 

The room on the far left of the greenhouse, however, was all Wooyoung’s to do with as he pleased. His Herbology professor had quickly noticed his love of the subject, and his devotion to the plants that they cared for in class. So when Wooyoung had come to him with yet another request to find a place in one of the greenhouses for him to grow yet _ another _of his own plants from a newly discovered cutting or seedling, the professor had provided him with a key, producing it from the depths of his pocket with a flourish and telling him to grow as many as he liked as long as they weren’t harmful. The room had apparently been going to waste, used mostly to store supplies, so Wooyoung was more than happy to get his hands on it and take it over. Now it was filled to the brim with his own personal collection. There were plants that he’d been gifted by friends or family and cuttings that he’d come across and endeavoured to grow himself, all brought to the University with him so that he could keep an eye on them. Not to mention the seedlings and yet more cuttings that he had been steadily acquiring from various places and establishments throughout Seoul and was eager to attempt to grow himself. There wasn’t much space in the dorm he shared with Yeosang, and the conditions there weren’t always ideal...the greenhouse on the other hand, was perfect. He had been squirreling them away throughout the main greenhouse, but now that he had access to his own, mini greenhouse, he had all of his precious plants artfully arranged and the professor had even cast the same climate magic on Wooyoung’s own safe haven as had been placed on the other greenhouses. 

Wooyoung made a beeline for the door to his own personal sanctuary, Yeosang trailing along behind him and eyeing any plant that curled, swayed or just so happened to drift too close to him...or in some cases outright reach for him. In contrast, Wooyoung was happily running his hands over the various branches, leaves, fronds, flowers and vines that he passed, perhaps contributing to some of them happening to fall a little too close to Yeosang for the other boys comfort, but it wasn’t like any of them were a danger to either of them and they were perfectly safe. 

In his haste to reach the door, Wooyoung almost missed the innocuous little plant plot sitting directly in front of it. It was only as he looked down to fumble the key on a long chain around his neck out of his clothing that he registered its presence and paused, moments before crashing into it. Wooyoung eyed the pot and its occupant curiously. 

_ I didn’t leave that there...I’ve never even seen it before, I would remember it if I had. _He thought as he tilted his head to the side, gaze fixed on the plant as he studied it. Something about it was tickling at his memory but he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. 

_ Hmm...blue leaves and stem, no that’s not right. Not exactly. It’s not just any blue, it’s...it’s stunning! It’s such a beautiful, rich, deep, midnight blue, I’ve never seen anything like it before! And those little leaves there are such a stunning, deep purple that they compliment each other perfectly. The two colours blend together so seamlessly, it’s the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen. Not to mention the flowers! They’re so pretty! They look like little stars scattered across a night sky- _

Wooyoung’s eyes widened and he suppressed a shriek as he realised what had been tickling at his memory. As he finally realised what this particular plant actually was, and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t recognised it straight away. Not when he’d been practically _ dreaming _about owning one of these. 

_ A Moondew plant! It’s a real, live Moondew plant! I’ve...I’ve never seen one before, at least...not in person. I’ve seen pictures and drawings in all the textbooks and articles but...this is the real thing! There’s a genuine Moondew plant sitting right in front of me and I….didn’t put it there. I think I’d remember leaving one of these outside for anyone to snatch up! They’re so hard to get hold of now, I never thought I’d find one...who- _

Just as he started to pose himself the question, Wooyoung’s eyes fell on a little silver card placed carefully against the plant’s pot. Wooyoung hadn’t noticed it straight away, why would he when his sole attention had been on the beautiful plant that he’d always fantasized about owning? He’d been so lost in identifying it and then the excitement of the discovery that yes, this _ is _the plant that he thought it was, that his gaze hadn’t strayed far from its deep blue and purple leaves and pearlescent silver flowers. It had certainly taken him a while to even think to wonder how the plant had ended up there, or even who was responsible.

_ Wooyoungie. _

His name was written on the card in delicately curving handwriting that he didn’t recognise. 

_ Wooyoungie? Only my friends call me that but that isn’t the handwriting of any of them, I've checked enough of Yeosang’s homework and received enough notes and cards from them all to know. Anyway, when would they have even managed this? And who? Seonghwa’s the most likely one to be able to get his hands on something like this but if he’d left it here for me wouldn’t he have encouraged me to get here sooner rather than later? There’s not even a hint from him that he left me a gift and besides, that isn’t his handwriting so who-no. No, there’s one other person that calls me that but...but he wouldn’t, would he? There’s no way he would… _

As far as Wooyoung was aware, San had backed off completely, something that he knew he should be happy about...and he was. Mostly. It was just a tiny little piece of himself that still niggled at him. That had genuinely hoped that San had really changed and was completely genuine with his interest in him...it was that part that wasn’t entirely ecstatic at the other boy’s sudden absence and the notion that he was now safe from him. That little part of himself was...disappointed. Disappointed and more than a little _ hurt. _San’s absence meant that he really had been up to no good when he’d decided to approach Wooyoung, it meant that he’d approached him to play some kind of game and when that became impossible he’d lost interest in Wooyoung which shouldn’t have been a surprise but it still came as one and it didn’t hurt any less. 

But he should have known better. He shouldn’t have allowed even that small shard of hope because people didn’t approach him. Not like _ that. _Especially people as pretty as Choi San, they always wanted to use him to get closer to one of his prettier friends or just because Wooyoung was a friendly, happy soul that made people feel better with his sunshiney personality. Wooyoung knew better, he knew that there was no way San would possibly be interested in him and yet...he’d stupidly allowed some small piece of himself to claw on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, this time was different. But it wasn’t. It never was and he kept learning that lesson over and over. But it didn’t matter anymore. It was over. Done. And there was no use dwelling on it. 

He hadn’t seen San in days, not up close anyway. The Slytherin had made no move to approach him and there had been no offers of drinks or food or any of the other little things that San had tried to ply him with in his efforts to talk to him, to get close to him. 

_ Because he doesn’t care. He never did. It was all...some sort of game to him and when I wouldn’t play he found someone else. I should know better by now, I know I should. But every time I always hope and I always get hurt. Maybe one day I’ll stop being so stupid. It’s a good thing that he isn’t targeting me anymore, that he’s given up on whatever humiliation or horrible thing it was that he’d been planning to do to me. I know that, I know I should be happy about that. But I still got hurt didn’t I? He didn’t get to publicly humiliate me but he still managed to hurt me. His absence is just confirmation that he was only approaching me because he wanted to play one of his nasty games with me, and that confirmation just makes me feel really, really shitty right now. Maybe this will finally teach me to stop being such a daydreamer, to stop hoping for impossible things when I know better. I just...I really thought that maybe this time…but nothing ever changes, does it? _

Wooyoung shook the thoughts away, attempting to shake away the hurt though that was harder to shift. 

_ It doesn’t matter. I need to remember that. It’s not like it was some beautiful person inside and out who was the epitome of boyfriend goals, was it? It was Choi San. And Choi San isn’t a very nice person, I know that. We all know that. I should have expected this from the start from him but I’m such an idiot I couldn’t help but daydream and hope. That stupid little part of myself set me up for disappointment again, but I should be used to it by now. I need to stop feeling so...so sad about this, he’s gone now. It’s over before he could even start to mess with me. Perhaps that would have hurt more...if it had progressed further and then he’d done whatever he was planning. At least now it’s been cut off before it can even start, before I could get too involved. This isn’t really all that different from the many times I’ve developed a crush on someone who’s shown me any attention at all, only for it to turn out that they’re either half in love with Yeosang or Seonghwa, or trying to get closer to Jongho...or just not interested in me at all really. I can’t really blame them, I don’t look like the others and I’m the kind of person that’s just friends with everyone and nothing more. Good old reliable Wooyoung. Dependable, friendly Wooyoung always ready with a smile or a laugh for anyone who needs it. Of course, this time I narrowly escaped the clutches of evil, according to Yeosang. But either way, I’ll just move past this like I always do. I’ve moped too long already. _

_ But the card...it says Wooyoungie...no. It must be a surprise from Yeosang. After all, he decided to come here with me. He knew I wanted to come here. Maybe he’s trying to cheer me up because despite how much I’ve tried to hide it...I’m sure they can probably tell. Which is kind of embarrassing on so many levels. I’m legitimately sad because the guy they warned me about, the guy that’s super nasty and a genuinely vile person who tried to hurt one of my best friends and has hurt countless other people...turned out to be as is to be expected from him. Just going about his usual evil activities but because he was pretty and he had dimples I got attached too fast and started thinking all kinds of ridiculous things. They must think I’m such an idiot, even I think I’m an idiot for this. Well done Wooyoung, this is definitely a new low for you. At least all the others were harmless. But oh no, I’m sad that the person who was going to make my life hell in some way or other has now shown his true colours and it turns out he wasn’t even really interested in me in the first place. My life isn’t the kind that involves pretty guys coming out of nowhere and falling for me to the extent that they’re desperately trying to get through my friends to even talk to me. Who do I think I am? _

_ No, this is Yeosang trying to cheer me up. Seonghwa probably helped get hold of the plant, and maybe everything in the GC was just them playing dumb so it’d be a surprise. They probably got someone else to write the card so I wouldn’t be able to tell. Nothing else makes sense. _

Hesitantly, Wooyoung reached for the little card. Picking it up and fingering it slightly as he stared at his name before finally turning it over to read the back. 

_ Wooyoungie~ _

_ It’s a shame to see such a pretty face looking so sad, it’s upsetting to see you looking so morose but perhaps this will help make things better? I found this strange little plant lying around at my parents house and thought it was pretty...but not as pretty as you~ _

_ I’m sure you’ll take better care of it than my family did, it could use a loving home. _

_ I only ever want to see you smiling and laughing that pretty, infectious laugh of yours so I hope this will make up for whatever has you feeling so down and put that beautiful smile back on your face where it belongs. _

_ -San _

Wooyoung blinked at the card in shock, tentatively holding the back of his hand up to his now flaming cheeks. 

“What the f-” he started to breathe before Yeosang’s voice suddenly sounded, cutting him off. 

“Wooyoungie!” Wooyoung jumped at the close proximity and volume of his friend’s voice. “Wait for me! I know you’re excited but you can’t just go rushing off and _ leave _me behind, at the mercy of these leafy villains.” Yeosang called, rushing to catch up to him. “LOOK! That plant’s eyeballing me, I don’t like it. Save meeee!” 

Wooyoung hurriedly tucked the little card away in his pocket before Yeosang could reach him. He was still trying to process what the card had said, what it meant, and he _ really _didn’t want Yeosang to see it. Not yet anyway, if ever. 

_ I don’t know what the hell is going on anymore. Why...why did San leave this? After everything? I thought...I thought he wasn’t interested in me? Not that this does mean that he’s interested in me or anything like that, I’m not going to make that mistake again, I just...I thought he’d given up? So...so what the hell is he doing now? _

Wooyoung eyed the plant still sitting innocently on the floor. 

_ It’s not a dangerous plant, it’s actually quite harmless and it’s really difficult to find. Although apparently not that difficult, ‘lying around the house’ he must be rich like Seonghwa. I don’t know what’s more shocking that he...he really noticed that I was feeling down lately or that he actually gave me this plant...to cheer me up? That doesn’t sound like the Choi San I’ve heard of. It sounds like his twin brother who’s all sunshine and rainbows to his shadowy and dark. But...San doesn’t have a twin, which means that San really- _

“Oh? What’s that?” Yeosang asked, peering over his shoulder. 

“It’s a Moondew flower.” Wooyoung answered quietly, thoughts churning as he stared at it. 

“Woah” Yeosang breathed. “I think we might have found the one plant in this place that I can actually stomach, I might even let you keep it in the dorms just so I can look at it without having to walk through all the evil green things lurking in this place.”

“And yet you still keep doing it to come here with me” Wooyoung muttered fondly. 

“It’s so pretty Wooyoungie! Where did you get it?” Yeosang asked curiously. 

“I-you mean...you didn’t leave this for me?” Wooyoung turned to look at his best friend, clinging to the only explanation that still made sense to him despite the evidence against it practically burning a hole in his pocket. 

“Uh, no?” Yeosang replied, brows creased in confusion. “I love you, but like...that plant screams expensive.” 

“What about Hwa?” 

“Woo, Hwa loves you more than he loves pretty much anyone else. But there’s no way he’d know the first thing about any plants, he only keeps those succulents for the aesthetic. Why do you think he always takes you with him and lets you pick out whatever you want for your birthday and Christmas?” Wooyoung shrugged noncommittally. 

“I guess…” 

“Besides, do you not remember the last time he tried to get you a plant on his own? ‘Oh look at this one Yeosangie! Wooyoungie’s going to love it, I know he is! It’s so cute and delicate and-oh. Uh...Yeosang? I think...I think the plant’s trying to eat your head?’ remember that Wooyoung!? I had to wash my hair _ ten _ times and my hair still looked faintly green. I’m still _ traumatised. _” 

“Well, Jongho-” Wooyoung tried again. 

“Does Jongho really seem like the ‘picking out a plant because his dear friend who loves all things green and leafy with every fibre of his being is feeling sad because he was being stalked by a psychopath but now he’s not, which should be a yaaay but is actually a naaaay so I’ll buy him a celebratory but also commisatory plant to get him back on his feet’ kind of guy?” Yeosang asked, arms folded. 

“.....no.” 

“Exactly. No. Jongho would ply you with beer and pizza and offer to punch something probably.” Yeosang squinted in thought. 

_ He’s right, of course he’s right. I know he’s right because the card is right there and none of them would play that kind of trick on me. They wouldn’t joke about this, they wouldn’t pretend it’s from San when it’s not. It wouldn’t be funny at all, it’d be mean and cruel and they’re none of those things. Protective? Yes. Teasing? Definitely but never nasty. They’d just say it was them and tease me a little bit for being sad in the first place, before drowning me in hugs and sympathy even if they do think I’m being stupid...which means this plant really is from San. There’s not a single person in this university that would actually want to be mistaken for him, not that I ever have any secret admirers...or regular admirers. But if I did they must know that pretending to be San wouldn’t get them anywhere, not after everything that happened and especially after that scene in the Dining Hall. _

_ But...where’s San? Usually when he tries to give me things he won’t go away, he always wants to hand me things himself even if Jongho practically breaks his rib. But now that he does something thoughtful and sweet and...and kind, he’s nowhere to be found?! _

Wooyoung glanced around carefully, trying his best to peer into the shadows creeping in as the daylight faded, but he couldn’t see any sign of the Slytherin. 

_ This is...strange. He left this for me, but he didn’t wait to give it to me himself? After avoiding me for days? He just...left it for me to find? Why? Why not give it to me himself? No, stupid question. I guess he didn’t want to get through the others to try to give it to me but...if he knows I’ve not been myself lately then that means he’s paying attention to me...so why won’t he talk to me anymore? Yeosang and the others didn’t really stop him from trying before. I don’t understand what he’s doing, he just completely backed off but he’s leaving me expensive plants to find because he noticed I’m sad? It didn’t seem like San was the kind of person to make this kind of gesture, so either he’s changed...or someone’s playing a really mean trick on me.... _

“I know you’re in love with your new plant Wooyoung, which you know...understandable, because _ look _ at it. But can we _ please _ get inside before that plant eats me? Look, Wooyoungie _ look! _ It’s _ eyeing _me, don’t tell me it isn’t! I think it’s hungry, hurry up!” Yeosang pushed him gently in the back, making him stumble forward a step or two. 

“Sangie, plants don’t have eyes so I doubt it’s eyeing you and I really doubt it wants to eat you-” 

“Are you saying I’m not a snack!?” Yeosang said playfully. 

“No, I’m saying that those plants aren’t in this section” Wooyoung responded, rolling his eyes. 

“Oh, oh that’s just _ so _ reassuring Wooyoung, _ thank you _for that valuable insight” Yeosang grumbled, brushing past him and starting to unenchant the locks. Wooyoung trailed behind him, inserting the key into the lock and twisting it hard to the left, allowing the door to click open and Yeosang to rush inside. Turning back, Wooyoung carefully picked up the little pot and brought the plant up to his eye level. 

_ It looks exactly like it does in all the images I’ve seen of it, it doesn’t look like it’s been tampered with or anything. _

Wooyoung gently touched the leaves with a finger, followed by the petals, feeling the soft texture though it was a little cold to the touch. Touching the Moondew plant was like his fingers were brushing over a chilled bottle or can, or at least the leaves and stem were. The flowers, on the other hand, were _ warm. _

_ Well...I’ve touched the pot and the plant and I’m still alive and in one piece. I don’t feel like I’ve been poisoned either, unless it’s a slow acting poison...then I might not know. But there’s nothing suspicious on the plant, there’s no residue or anything that shouldn’t be there. It looks perfect. So...is this really the real deal? Choi San left me a genuine Moondew plant that he just had lying around to try and cheer me up? _

_ Okay Wooyoung, what we’re not going to do is the same old thing we’ve always done before. We’re not going to read anything into this. We’re not going to start daydreaming again and our hopes will remain firmly in place. There will be no raising of the tiniest shard of hope, not this time. We’re going to act like a normal person in this situation and a normal person would be asking themselves what the hell Choi San is up to now. _

Wooyoung mulled the thought over, hugging the pot carefully to his chest. 

“Wooyoung, hurry up! I thought you were desperate to get to your precious little-UGH GET AWAY FROM ME FOUL CREATURE!” Yeosang shrieked dramatically, snatching his hand away from a friendly vine that was slowly creeping towards him. 

“Sangie, what did I tell you about being mean to them in hearing distance?! And don’t act like you aren’t best friends with it, I saw the two of you before-” 

“Just stop dawdling and get in here” Yeosang grumbled, cutting him off. His hand now absentmindedly petting the vine. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming” Wooyoung mumbled, shaking away the questions, worries and doubts that were clogging up his mind following the discovery of the plant...and the note. 

_ I’ll figure it out later, for now I need to get this little guy settled into his new home! _

Wooyoung smiled softly at the plant, following Yeosang into his little slice of safety and shutting the door behind him. 

* * *

As soon as Wooyoung had disappeared inside his little greenhouse, the door snapping shut behind him, San stepped out of the shadows. Grumbling to himself, he set about brushing himself down and ridding himself of all the little pieces of foliage clinging to him from his stint lurking amongst the bushes and overly large plants nearby. He’d had to practically throw himself into a plant of unknown origin to prevent the Hufflepuff from catching sight of him when he’d been peering around earlier. As if he’d known San would be nearby, fortunately the shadows...and overly clingy plant, had shielded him from view. _ It’s too soon for that, after all. _

Once he was foliage free and his clothing all straightened out, San turned to the door that Wooyoung had disappeared through moments before and allowed himself a triumphant smirk. 

_ Gotcha. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping the long chapter makes up for the long wait! 
> 
> Like I said, I can't promise that I'll update super fast, but I'll update ASAP and it hopefully will be in a week or two when my workload is back to normal! 
> 
> If you're still reading this, then I appreciate you so much and I'm so sorry for the really sporadic updates! The year hasn't been that kind to me in multiple ways. 
> 
> Aaaaanywaaaaaay, how're we feeling about San's little gesture? ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Come screech at me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/writingaria) or [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/writingaria)!!


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